Unintended  A Loss of Faith
by knicnort3
Summary: When a heartless Edward made a bet that he could sleep with the virgin daughter of the pastor, he never expected the outcome - her pregnant, a forced teen marriage, and a love he didn't know how to handle. AH *EPOV* ALTERNATE ENDING to 'Unintended'
1. Ch 15 Tears

**Unintended – A Loss of Faith**

Description: When Edward made a bet that he could sleep with the virgin daughter of the pastor, he never expected the outcome he got - _her pregnant, a forced teen marriage, and a love he wasn't expecting_. _**But when a scam to get his money causes Bella to doubt, what will bring these two back together?**_

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

***This is a _short_ **ALTERNANTE ENDING** to my other story 'Unintended'. For those who didn't like Edward and Bella being separated for ten years, this eliminates that aspect. What would have happened if he stayed? It starts off in chapter 15, so if you haven't read 'Unintended', I suggest reading at least the first 14 chapters there first.

Chapter 15 starts out the same as the original, but doesn't end with him leaving town, so read on to find out the difference and learn how that simple change alters his future.

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><p>~Chapter 15 – <em>Tears<em>~

_I felt like my heart stopped beating, and I definitely stopped breathing, because when I looked at Bella and saw her staring horrified at the pictures….I knew my life was really and truly over._

"Come on, to the principal with you," the teacher on the scene said to me, but I couldn't just leave Bella there, not like that, not with those vultures.

"Hold up!" Bella said unexpectedly. "What the hell are these?"

"What do they look like?" Vicky said arrogantly.

"They look like photo-shopped crap!" Bella responded strongly.

Holy shit. When I first saw the pictures, I was shocked and in disbelief, but the thought of them being altered didn't occur to me, but it did make perfect sense….Bella always seemed to see through all of life's bullshit, and she caught onto the falsities and holes in their story almost immediately.

"You're calling them a fake?" Vicky said incredulously.

"Yes, I am," Bella said confidently. "I mean come one Vicky, you aren't fooling anyone with this shit. It's widely known that you were trying to get pregnant by any guy with money. You've seen how Edward had accepted my pregnancy so you were just expecting him to do the same with you. But too bad, because I'm not buying it!"

"You said so yourself that he was 'missing' around the time I got pregnant…do you think it's just by coincidence that I got pregnant around the same exact time that he went awol?"

"If he was really with you, then why would you take pictures? People don't do that in normal situations," Bella rebutted. "These are fake; it's as simple as that."

"We both know that Edward denied being the father of your baby too…what makes you so sure he's not lying about me also? What has he ever done to gain this undying faith you have in him?"

Bella shook her head. "He hasn't done anything….and he's lied hundreds of times, but the thing is, when you really know someone the way I know my _husband_, it's easy to know when they're lying…and he's not."

I couldn't believe that Bella was actually defending me, and I felt a whole new level of gratitude towards her. I didn't deserve her trust, and I couldn't imagine how difficult having accusations thrown at me like that was for her, but I was once again, eternally and irrevocably grateful to have her in my life.

Bella and Vicky continued to argue, but the teacher refused to let me stay and listen. Someone was already escorting James to the hospital, and I couldn't wait until Carlisle got off that night so he could tell me how broken his face was. My knuckles were throbbing, so I smiled at the thought of how bad his face must feel.

Despite knowing two idiots were out to get me, I suddenly felt extreme light knowing I still had Bella. She and our son was all that mattered to me, so as long as I had them, the rest of the world could go fuck themselves.

But as I sat in the principal's office awaiting my latest sentencing, I was calm enough to wonder why the hell James would be so extremely hateful of me, that he would lie like that. Sure, I kissed that disgusting whore in front of him to make him jealous, but really, I just didn't get it. James was always the first guy to step up and protest when we were doing something incredibly fucked up, so how could he be ok with trying to ruin my family?

I sat there for about twenty five minutes, before Esme showed up looking more worried than anything.

"What happened, they said you got in a fight?" she said while grabbing my chin and moving it around to survey for damages.

"Esme, I'm fine," I assured her.

"Well, what happened?" she asked but then sucked in a hard breath when she saw my bloody hands.

"Its fine. James just got in the way of my fists," I said with a chuckle.

"James, your friend _James_?" Esme asked surprised.

"Yeah, he was trying to turn Bella against me, but it didn't work so everything is fine," I told her calmly.

"How was he trying to turn her against you?" she asked confused, but then the principal walked in.

"Edward, I am very disappointed in you," he said sternly. "I just got a call from the hospital and actually spoke to Dr. Cullen. It seems James has a concussion."

_Shit._

As much as I absolutely hated the guy right then for what he tried to do, I certainly didn't mean to give him a concussion. Kill him in my fit of blind rage, _sure_, but not a concussion.

"Sir, he was trying to…" I started but he interrupted me.

"Mr. Masen, it doesn't matter what he was trying to do. We have a zero tolerance for fighting in this school, and I hate to do this because of the situation you're in at home, but you are hereby expelled from Forks High," he said unexpectedly.

"Whoa, that's more than harsh," Esme said quickly. Kids get into fights all the time, and I always see them back here on campus within a couple of weeks."

"Yes, and we've had gang problems so we just passed the 'no tolerance' rule three months ago. But…Edward can go to continuation school, and if he keeps up with his studies, he can still graduate on time."

"Look, I have to be here with my wife," I tried reasoning with him. "I'm sorry for losing it, and I will even speak out against teen violence at an assembly or some shit like that, if that's what you want…but I have to stay here."

But he wouldn't budge. Esme promised me that she'd continue to work on him, but she suggested for me to take the rest of the week off regardless. I hated the thought of leaving Bella at school without speaking to her and making sure she was ok, but I didn't have any other choice, so Esme promised to check on her, which made me feel slightly better.

I borrowed Esme's car and decided to have an emergency meeting with Dr. Amun. I felt fine at that point, but just to be safe, I wanted to get my head examined.

"So, you're positive that they weren't telling the truth?" Dr. Amun asked.

"Definitely," I said confidently. We started discussing Bella's reaction and how it made me feel knowing she still supported me, and then our session ended.

"Hey, you ok?" Emmett asked me the minute I walked into the house.

"Don't you ever have school?" I asked him baffled.

"Winter break, moron," he explained, and then I realized that Rose was there as well. "Mom called and asked if I could bring back her car, and then she told me what happened…..so I assume you got that little punk pretty good, then? I mean, I am impressed that he ended up in the hospital, I would have torn off his limbs and burned him if he did to me what he tried to do to you."

I shouldn't have been surprised that Esme had already found out the exact the cause of my fight, a lot of people did overhear after all, but I was happy that I didn't have to explain it.

"Yeah, well, I would have if people didn't stop me…I'm just grateful Bella didn't believe that shit."

"No kidding…That's the last thing she needs."

But then Rose butted in. "But if you can't remember what happened to you during those days, then…how do you know they're lying. People do really fucked up shit when they're wasted."

"Rose?" Em said incredulously.

"What? I'm just being honest," she said defensively.

Surprisingly, I wasn't angry by Rose's comment…I was terrified. The truth was that she was right, I had no idea what happened those two days, and the only two people who claimed to know, said I did something disgustingly horrible.

Emmett and Rose left to go bring Esme back her car, and then they all returned just over an hour later. Bella and I just stared at each other for an extremely long moment, and like when I came back from my two day disappearance, she walked over to me and hugged me.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," I murmured into her hair.

"You've made a lot of enemies, Edward. This probably won't be the last time one of your less than stellar past issues comes back to bite you in the ass," she told me.

"Yes it will, I swear, I…."

"Edward, just stop!" she yelled unexpectedly. "I don't want to hear anymore of those promises, when it's become increasingly clear that you can't keep them," she said before storming up the stairs.

So, of course I followed her.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I asked absently as I walked into the room, and saw her packing clothes into a suitcase.

"I just…need some time," she said without stopping.

"Time? We don't have time, the baby is almost here," I said incredulously.

"Even if it's just a few days…." she responded.

"I thought you said that you believed me?" I asked while my breathing started to speed.

"I do…but…"

"But what? You either believe me and know that those assholes were just pulling a scam, or you don't and think I'm lying. Which is it?" I asked her in a panic.

"It's not that simple," she said heatedly. "Whether or not you did it, the fact that they were after you in the first place just proves…"

"What? Just proves what?" I urged her to continue.

"I don't know what!" she yelled. "All I know is that I can't handle this right now, and I need time to think about everything."

"Well, it's not like either of us are in this marriage by choice, so what makes you think you can just leave because you feel like it?" I asked her. I in no way meant it as a threat, but the expression on her face insinuated otherwise.

"I do not have to be _anywhere_ against my will," she said through gritted teeth. "I chose to marry you because I thought…." She let her sentence trail off again, and then shook her head before slamming her suitcase shut.

"What? I have opened up entirely to you Bella, and told you absolutely everything…but you can't return the favor, can you? Never once have you told me your exact reasons for being here, or what you went through during those first few months of your pregnancy…."

"No, I haven't, but have you ever asked?" she said breathlessly. "I figured that if you really wanted to know, you would have brought the subject up."

"I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I was waiting for you to come to me."

"It doesn't work that way!" she said irately.

"Fine, I'm here now, asking you all those questions, so let's start with the first. Why did you agree to marry me?"

She stared at me, but then shook her head. "None of it seems to matter right now, does it."

"Oh, don't give me that 'too little, too late', bullshit. I'm here, asking you to open up to me the way I have turned myself inside out for you."

"Ok, fine, but first I want to hear you say it," she said unexpectedly.

"Say what?" I asked confused.

"Look me in the eye, and swear to me that there is no way you could have gotten Vicky pregnant," she challenged. "In fact, you don't even have to swear it. Just look at me, and tell me that it is impossible…and I'll unpack my bag right now."

My breath caught, and I suddenly felt like I was falling. I was a good liar, I had to be because if I was honest with everyone, then people would know just how much of a mess I truly was and it would horrify them…but Bella was always different. She could always see right through me, and perhaps that's what this was all about. She knew I couldn't lie to her, and she sensed my uncertainty.

"I don't know what happened," I said brokenly. I could feel myself cracking into a million pieces, but I needed to keep it together, I needed to be strong for her. "But, I would never do that to you on my own free will. You know that. They drugged me, they are responsible for this, and I don't know how, but I will fix it."

A single tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away, and her face stiffened into a hard mask.

"I love you…" she said, taking me aback. Despite feeling it, we had never said those words to each other, _except the time she mumbled it before we had sex the first time_, and for her to say it in that moment, I knew exactly what would follow. But I couldn't run from it like I did with everything else, I owed it to her to stand there and take it.

"I love you," she repeated. "But all this is _wrong_. There's a reason why society stopped forcing people to marry because of a pregnancy, and this is the perfect example. We're not ready to be married, we're not ready for any of this."

"Whoa, wait. What the hell are you saying?" I asked, confused by what she meant.

"Who are we kidding anyway?" she said with the tears pouring out now. "We're seventeen years old, we're not ready to be parents."

"Well, it's not exactly up to us. I mean, it's not like we chose this, but it's here."

"But we do have choices," she said with a strained voice.

"Bella?" I couldn't believe what she was saying, and I wouldn't. "You're just upset, after you've had time to think about it, you'll realize what your saying is ridiculous."

"Will I?" she asked me emotionally. She grabbed her bag, and then practically ran out of the room.

Once again, I found myself in a numbing daze as I walked through the next few days. Carlisle and Esme tried talking to me, but I wasn't there enough mentally to give a proper response. Dr. Amun tried to break through to me as well, but he was no help either. I needed Bella, and until I had her back, there was nothing to be done.

The only time I wasn't in my self induced haze, was when the phone rang. I kept worrying that all the stress would put Bella into labor early, so I kept waiting to get that phone call. I did know that Bella didn't go back to her dad's house however, she had been staying with Angela, for which, I was actually grateful. Angela was a good friend to her, and Charlie had never been around enough to give her the support she needed at that time.

But then I couldn't ignore the Vicky problem anymore.

"Edward, you have a visitor," Emmett came to tell me.

"Is it Bella?" I asked emotionlessly.

"Nope," Emmett said quickly.

"Then I really don't care whose here," I said honestly.

"Yeah well, you better come down before she moves all her shit in."

"Huh?" I asked confused.

I reluctantly followed Emmett down, and nearly lost it when I saw Vicky there with two huge suitcases.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I heard Bella moved out, so I figured you had an open place for us…and just think, the baby area is already set up and waiting for me, right?" Vicky said with faux innocence. Carlisle and Esme were standing in the kitchen, which was in full hearing range of everything being said between us, so rather that attacking Vicky like I wanted to, I waited for back up.

"Vicky, hi. It's been a long time," Esme said as she rushed into the room.

"I'm just so happy you extended your home out to me, Mrs. Cullen," Vicky said unexpectedly.

"What?" I shouted.

"Calm down, son," Carlisle said calmly as he joined us. "We never said you could stay with us, we simply asked you to come over so we can discuss the situation."

"There is nothing to discuss," Vicky said quickly. "I'm pregnant with you grandchild, and you owe me the same benefits you gave Bella."

"Bella is my wife, you fucking…"

"Edward!" Esme scolded me.

"This is fucking ridiculous, she's obviously lying about the entire thing!" I yelled.

"She is pregnant Edward. She came in last week for her check up," Carlisle said.

"Fine, whatever. Let's do a DNA test then. Right now," I insisted.

"No!" she screamed. "That is too dangerous at this stage."

"See? She's fucking lying because if she wasn't, then she wouldn't have a problem with the test," I said to Esme and Carlisle.

"Well, it is true that a DNA test at this stage could be risky," Carlisle said reluctantly.

"See?" Vicky said smugly.

"But Edward is still married to Bella, so you being here is inappropriate," he added.

Vicky was definitely surprised that she couldn't weasel her way into what she wanted."What? I have no money and no insurance to pay for all my pregnancy expenses…."

"Which is why you're really here," I said irately.

"So, as my baby's father, he needs to step up and pay for it," she said, ignoring my interruption.

"Of course she wants money," I said, but no one was listening to me at that point.

"Until we can get the DNA test, we will cover the cost of your medical bills," Carlisle said, shocking the hell out of me.

"There is no way in hell I'm going to take money from Bella and _our _baby, to pay for that bitch and her kid which has nothing to do with me!" I shouted.

"Vicky, we will be in touch, but you are not welcome to stay here," Carlisle told her before gesturing for her to leave.

"Well, you can expect me to come after every bit of money that's mine," she said, before turning and walking away.

Carlisle shut the door, and then slowly turned back to me, and I furiously glared at him in return.

"How could you ambush me with that bitch? Why the hell would you ever invite her here?" I asked heatedly.

"We tried telling you that she was coming to discuss all this, but you refused to listen," Esme said. "And for the record, we never once gave her the assumption that she could live here."

"I'm not giving that bitch one dime of my money!" I reiterated.

"Edward, that girl obviously has never had anything in her life. She has no money, and no way to take care of herself little alone a baby. Now, _if _that is your child, then don't you want to do whatever you can to make sure it's taken care of?" Carlisle asked.

"It's not my child!" I said sternly.

"It's still a child either way. An innocent child, Edward," Esme added.

"Whatever," I said before running upstairs.

The next day was Christmas Eve, and I was absolutely sickened by the thought that I wouldn't be with Bella for the holiday….but then she came.

"Hi," I said, and I couldn't help the way my heart jumped from seeing her, but her expression was cold and hard.

"We need to talk," she said emotionlessly.

"Yeah, of course."

We went up to our room, and I shut the door behind her. I was holding on to the very last ounce of hope that she was there to tell me that she was coming home, but that too quickly died.

"I've spent the last week really thinking about everything….and I tried to weigh all of our options….Edward, I think it would be best to end this now," she said coldly, but I could hear the trace of sorrow that she was trying to hide.

"But…we're a family," I told her, feeling like there was a lump in my throat.

"No, we're just two immature kids that have no business being married or raising a child together."

"Bella, I know that I fought this for a long time, but I want to be a father now, and I can't just let you push me out of our son's life."

Her face broke momentarily, but she quickly recovered herself and refastened her features into a hard mask. "Edward…I want to do what's right for our son. I love him more than anything, and I want to give him the best possible chance at a happy normal _stable_ life. Edward…_we can't give him that_," she whispered at the end.

I shook my head, not wanting to believe what she was telling me.

"So what then, what are you planning to do?" I asked anxiously.

"I've been looking into…adoption," she said quietly.

I shook my head again. "I don't believe this."

"Edward, I can't do this. I fooled myself into thinking that I could, and despite what I want, I have to think about what he needs. There are so many couples out there who are desperately longing for a child, and can be that stability that we're just not ready for. I've already spoken to an agency, and they said we can be as much a part of the process as we want…"

"I can't believe this," I said again.

"I'm not going to do anything against your will, but you really need to think about it," she said with strain heavy in her voice. "I'll leave the papers that you would need to sign downstairs…_and the divorce papers as well_. Just think about it, and let me know what you decide," she said before walking back towards the door.

"Bella!" I called after her. She stopped and turned back towards me, and then waited. "I love you," I told her and couldn't help the tears from escaping down my face.

"I love you too….I only wish it was enough," she said before leaving.

I stood there like an idiot, and then I broke and fell to my knees, bawling hysterically. I hadn't cried since before my family was massacred, and I hated that I was doing it then, but I couldn't stop. Every inch of my body ached for the loss of my family _for the second time, _and as the tears continued to break free, I knew all my soul was escaping with them.

I always assumed that my dad had killed my spirit when he murdered my mother and sister, but I realized then that all he did was weaken it, because that was the moment I truly lost everything inside of me.

"I'm so sorry," Esme's gentle voice said as I felt her arms encompass me.

"I don't know what to do," I said shattered as I let her hold me.

"Everything will be ok, you'll see," she said while shedding her own tears.

"Nothing will ever be ok again," I mumbled.

She rubbed my head and began humming a comforting tune, but I didn't want to be comforted, so I managed to find the hole I had buried myself in for so long, and I crawled back inside.

"Esme, I think I just need some time alone," I told her calmly.

She nodded. "I'll set up an appointment with Dr. Amun for you as soon as possible, ok?"

"Ok," I said vacantly.

She kissed the side of my head, and then left me alone.

I sat in my room, and just stared blankly into my multiuse closet for hours. It was still full of baby clothes, and was all that was left of the family that I never really got a chance to have.

I spent a few minutes just festering in my fury about the entire situation. I hated Bella, and I seriously thought about finding a gun and killing everyone who had ever wronged me, but that was the moment I finally understood my father. Taking their lives would be easy, gratifying, and I wanted it….but then the feeling past and I knew I had no choice.

I had no idea why, but I grabbed the newborn elf costume out of the closet, and stuffed it into my backpack. I took a few changes of clothes and the money I had in my wallet, and then I waited until everyone else was sleeping, before quietly going downstairs. I would have just gone out the window like I had so many times before, but I had to do something before I could leave.

I quietly went into the kitchen, found a pen, and signed all my rights away. Bella was right after all, no kid needed a fuckup like me in its life, so giving him to a family who could _safely_ love him, was the best thing I could possibly do.

I didn't look back as I walked out the door, but I did make one last phone call, and thankfully, this time, he answered.

"I just need a ride to the bus station," I told Garrett over the phone.

"Ok, I'll be right there," he said supportively.

I would have just walked, but it was freezing out and I wanted to let someone know what happened to me, just in case the Cullens worried.

*****NEW*****

"You sure about this?" Garrett asked me concerned as I got into his run down car.

"Yes," I responded, but there was no confidence in my voice whatsoever, and Garrett heard it.

"There's gotta be another way than just skipping out of town," he said as he drove towards the location I requested.

"What the fuck do you want me to do? I was expelled from school, my wife is divorcing me and putting our baby up for adoption…there's nothing left for me here," I said irately, but really, I was trying like hell to not break down again the way I had in my bedroom. There was no way in hell I going to cry like a fucking pansy in front of Garrett. I was done crying, and I swore I'd never do it again.

"Ok…it's your life," Garrett said and then drove the rest of the way to the bus station, before pulling over to let me out. "If you ever need anything…I'm here."

"Yeah, thanks," I said quietly, before getting out of the car, and going inside the building to purchase my ticket. I had no idea where to go, so I just bought a ticket on the bus that would take me the furthest away, which unfortunately wasn't nearly far enough; nowhere was far enough to fully escape the pain I'd be leaving behind.

My bus wasn't until the next morning, so I basically sat on a bench and waited. I tried not to think about anything, because every time I did, I just got more and more upset; so like any other time in my life when things got too hard, I buried all my feelings and locked them away as deep as they would go. I didn't need Bella or the baby, I didn't need anyone.

But as I sat there and worked on building that familiar wall around myself that I had grown to rely on for survival, I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, Carlisle was there.

"What are you doing here?" I asked bitterly.

"I got a tip that you were here," he said with his face set in an unreadable mask.

_Fucking Garrett_.

"Edward, leaving isn't the answer," Carlisle said evenly.

"Why not? I have nothing left, I can't even fucking graduate," I spat.

"Esme and I fully plan to petition the principal's decision on that matter, and if they don't allow you back, I will bring in my lawyer."

I thought about it for a moment, and then shook my head. "It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore," I said quietly.

Carlisle came to sit next to me on the bench, and then took a deep breath. "Edward, I know that what happened with Bella was tough, but you have to remember that she is in an extremely emotional state right now, and she doesn't have any one to turn to."

"So, what are you saying?" I asked confused by his direction.

"I'm not saying anything…but, don't count out the possibility of her changing her mind. She has loved that baby for months, and never once thought about giving it up until now. Who knows how she'll feel when she actually sees him for the first time."

"So… there's still a chance?" I asked feeling like an absolute moron for not thinking about that fact.

"There is _always_ a chance. Now, I haven't spoken to her about it, but I sure would hate for you to leave and never know."

I nodded. "I never thought about that….but Carlisle, I can't just stand by and watch her give my kid to strangers. I may have not cared before, but things are…_different_ now. So, I'll come back, but if…"

"Whatever she decides, then we can deal with that when it comes."

"Deal with it?" I asked sourly.

"What I mean is that Esme and I will discuss the next step."

"I still don't understand?" I asked starting to get a headache from trying to figure the man out.

"Edward, you have rights too. If Bella wants to terminate hers, that doesn't mean _you_ have to. Esme and I will help you if that's what you want. And if you don't…we can even adopt the baby ourselves, that way you can be as involved as you'd like… Perhaps with time, Bella would want to be a part of the baby's life again, and we would welcome that."

"I signed the papers," I said absently.

"But they're not filed. In fact, they're still sitting at the house, and we can rip them up as soon as we get back," Carlisle pointed out.

I thought about it for a moment, but it was all too much to decide on that quickly because there were just too many uncertainties to sort out. But there was one thing that I was sure of, Carlisle was a good man.

"Thank you," I said sincerely, although, I still wasn't exactly sure of what I was thankful for. Nothing was really better, but at the same time, those uncertainties wouldn't allow me to go ahead with my plan to leave. At the very least, I needed to figure out who was going to end up raising my son.

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><p><strong>****More to come with an ALL NEW chapter!<strong>

**Do you like the change so far, or do you prefer the original? If you haven't read the original and opted to go this way, then I'd really like to know your thoughts **

**Please Review**


	2. Ch 16 Decisions

**Unintended – A Loss of Faith**

A/N: _Yah! Most of you seem excited for the turn of events, so that means I'll continue. I still stick by my original because that is the way I had it planned from the beginning, but I started thinking about 'what if' and perhaps there is a way to get them through this without Edward disappearing for a decade. We'll see…. Of course, there are no guarantees that you'll like everything to come (I'm afraid there will be more drama), but I promise that I will bring this around to another HEA!_

_This is just a different path, so certain facts that were put into motion earlier in the story, must still be carried out (i.e. baby's sex, the Vicky problem, the truth about Edward's dad, etc)_

_I have no idea how many chapter are ahead, my guess is anywhere between two and ten ;-)_

_On with the show…._

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><p>~Chapter 16 – <em>Decisions<em>~

I hated my fucking room. I hated that fucking house. I just wanted to be as far away as possible from all the shit that went down there….but I had to stay, there really wasn't a choice. But I also needed a plan…

"So, I spoke to Bella," Esme said hesitantly during breakfast. It was the day after Christmas, and I had spent the entire holiday alone in my depressing room full of what could have been, just contemplating the future. But on top of obsessing about how everything had quickly become seriously fucked up, I was also waiting for a phone call that I couldn't risk missing. Bella was very close to her due date, and I needed to be ready for when it happened.

"And?" I prompted her impatiently.

"And I asked her and her father to stop by this afternoon to discuss everything. We need to make it very clear that we won't allow the baby to be raised outside of the family….if that's still what you want?" she asked me.

"Of course it's what I want," I said bitterly, but then I tried to calm down; I wasn't really upset with Esme, so it wasn't fair that I was being rude. "So, they're coming then?" I asked a little more gently.

"Yeah, I'm putting together a lunch spread, and hopefully we'll all remain _calm, _and handle this meeting like adults."

I knew exactly what Esme was saying when she said 'hopefully _we'll_ remain calm'; by 'we' she meant me. She knew I was always a second away from losing my temper, and she was worried about it. To be honest, I was definitely still afraid of losing my temper as well, especially after practically biting Esme's head off just then, so I decided to go into the other room and make an emergency appointment with Dr. Amun.

"Going out?" Carlisle asked suspiciously as I grabbed Esme's car keys, and headed for the door.

"Just a meeting with Dr. Amun, I'll be back before _the Swans_ get here for lunch," I said through gritted teeth. Bella never officially changed her name to Masen, but the 'Swans' comment was definitely out of spite.

"Ok…well, good luck," Carlisle said as I left.

My hour long appointment with Dr. Amun wasn't anything new. We just rehashed all our normal shit, and he reiterated the tools I should use if _and when_ I got angry. I was happy when it was over, but then I realized that it was almost eleven, and Bella and her father would be at the house soon.

I just didn't know how to react to it all. I was pissed beyond words that Bella would even consider giving the baby up, which Dr. Amun said was a viable emotion. I was allowed to be upset and feel betrayed; it was just the way that I executed those feelings, and that was the issue.

"You ready for this?" Esme asked supportively when I got home.

"Can one ever truly be ready for something like this?" I asked as calmly as I was capable of.

Esme reached out and rubbed my arms in a means of comfort. "We're here for you," she said intensely. "Just remember that this must be difficult for her as well…no matter what she decides."

I locked my jaw and subtly shook my head, before walking away from Esme's grasp.

Carlisle helped Esme get the lunch stuff together, but I just sat in the living room and anxiously ripped up a Kleenex into shreds.

And then finally, the door bell rang. I tried to get up to answer it, but my legs wouldn't move so thankfully Carlisle walked into the room to let them in.

"Happy Holidays Pastor Swan, Bella," Carlisle greeted them. "We were so sorry we couldn't make it to service yesterday, I'm sure it was wonderful like always."

"Yes, well, we look forward to the Christmas pageant and festivities every year," Charlie grumbled.

"Us too. Please, come in," Carlisle said as he stepped aside and held the door open for them.

When they walked in, I forced myself to stand, but neither Charlie nor Bella would look at me. I might as well have been fucking invisible. Fucking pricks. It had only been two days since Bella trampled all over my heart, and that's all it took for my affections towards her to turn sour. She was carrying my child, and that was the only thing keeping me from chewing her ass out.

I quietly followed them as they followed Carlisle into the dining room, where Esme welcomed them politely.

"I'm so glad you guys could make it, I know how busy this time of the year is for you Pastor Swan," Esme said before going over to kiss Bella on the cheek. They mumbled some things to each other, but it wasn't clear enough for me to understand, so I dismissed it.

We all sat, and the room was heavy with awkwardness for an immeasurable amount of time, but then Carlisle started.

"So, Bella, I trust you're feeling well?" he asked her.

"Um…yeah, thanks," she said quietly while looking down at her fiddling fingers. She was nervous, that much was obvious, but I had never seen her so withdrawn before and it made me anxious.

"Have you experienced any Braxton Hicks yet?" Carlisle asked, letting his doctor side come out.

"Not that I've noticed," Bella said distantly.

"Well, you may not…Some women never feel them…" he continued on, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Can we just get this over with please?" I asked irritated.

Charlie looked appalled by my interruption, well, he just looked appalled by me breathing, but that was beside the point; Carlisle had a scolding expression, and Esme looked embarrassed. But Bella still refused to even glance at me…not that I really cared anymore.

"What?" I asked them all sourly. "I don't feel like sitting here and faking all this pleasantry bullshit, when everyone here knows that no one wants to be here. So let's just discuss everything so we can go about the rest of our day."

"Edward, that is no way to speak to guests," Esme chided me.

"No, he's right," Charlie said quickly. "Esme, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but it would be best to just say what we all need to say."

"Ok Pastor Swan, you have the floor," Esme said with a little more attitude than I expected.

"Alright," he said while clearing his throat. "Because of my religion and what I do for my life's work, I thought this marriage would be the best for the child, but now I can see that everything about this union was one huge mistake. I assume you have the divorce papers signed and ready to file?" he asked me coldly.

"Yeah, they're signed," I said just as frigidly.

"Great, well, I appreciate you cooperating on the matter. You can just give me the documents and I'll have them filed," he said as he started to get up.

"Hold on!" I practically shouted. "You only came here to make sure I signed the divorce papers?"

"Edward, calm down," Carlisle said, but I wasn't really listening to him.

"What else is there to discuss?" Charlie asked, seemingly genuinely confused.

"Uh, how about MY SON!" I definitely yelled that time.

"I thought you agreed on the adoption?" he asked me but looked at Bella…she didn't return his stare, she just continued to look down at her hands in her lap. Despite my resentment towards her, I was definitely worried; Bella being so detached couldn't be a good thing.

"As far as I'm aware of, there was never any agreement made," Carlisle spoke up.

"I don't understand," Charlie said agitatedly bewildered. "You actually want to keep the baby…_you?_"

"Did you really think you were coming here to discuss this shame of a marriage?" I asked incredulously. "I don't give a shit about that, but there is no way in hell I'm going to allow _her_ to give my child away to strangers!"

"Ok, just calm down, son," Carlisle said again, but this time I tried to listen. He was right, I needed to get control.

"Listen, there is nothing wrong with adoption; I know of many successful cases…" Charlie began to say, but I just got even angrier.

"Cases? My baby isn't a 'CASE'!"

"I understand that, but really, this is Bella's decision, and I think it is a wise and mature one at that."

I was fuming, and thankfully, Carlisle stepped in then.

"With all due respect Pastor, this decision isn't just Bella's. She can choose to give up her rights, but that doesn't mean Edward has to. He wants his child, and Esme and I are more than willing to help him raise it if Bella moves forward with her choice to not be involved."

"Well, _with all due respect_ Mr. Cullen," Charlie said agitatedly. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's quite possible that Edward has another baby on the way as well. Perhaps he should step up and help raise that child if its mother decides to keep it. This is a small town, Bella shouldn't have to be subjected to see the baby with your family like that; it would only make it impossible for her to move on with her life. We have already spoken to several potential adoptive parents, and they all live at least three hours away from here. And that's the way it should be."

I seriously started contemplating the effects of punching a pastor. He was supposed to be a man of god and all that, so I supposed I would go to hell for it…but I was probably headed there already anyway, so what was one more knock against me.

"Whoa, son, stop!" Carlisle said as I stood and readied myself to turn Charlie's lights out.

"Edward, I have made so many excuses for you in the past because of what happened to you and your family, but if you seriously want to hit me right now, then that just proves that you have no control over yourself and in no position to raise a child. Think about what's best for him…do you really believe it's you?" Charlie said calmly.

Strangely enough, his comment didn't piss me off, it actually calmed me down. "You're right. I do have anger issues, but I'm seeking help for them…But I can promise one thing about my future parenting, I sure as hell won't ignore my kid the way you do with yours."

"Excuse me?" he asked insulted.

"Basically, Bella raised herself. Her mother took off, but so did you. You retreated into your own 'life path' and gave yourself entirely to it, all the while, Bella was alone. She's always been alone, and quite frankly, I'm surprised that she didn't get pregnant sooner. Teen girls with daddy issues often end up that way," I said harshly. I knew it was cruel, but at the same time, I honestly believed every word of it.

Bella was a lonely girl who loved blindly, case in point, me. So it was really only a matter of time until some prick like Laurence or Caius came along and said the words just to get in her pants, and she would have given it the way she did with me.

Charlie glared at me, and then stood and grabbed his jacket. "I will not stay here and be so disrespected," he said to Esme and Carlisle. I think he was expecting them to berate me a little for my comment, but neither of them said a word to me, instead, they turned their rigidness to Charlie.

"If you continue to insist on the adoption against Edward's will, we will have to bring in lawyers," Carlisle told him.

"Bella honey, we don't mean to upset you," Esme told her gently. "But it isn't right to give the baby away when Edward wants to raise him."

"Come on Bella, let's go home," Charlie insisted.

Bella didn't say a word, but she did finally look at me for the first time that day. Her eyes burrowed into mine, and there was definitely a wide range of emotions there, but I just couldn't decipher them. But then she stood, and continued out after her father.

I really wanted to punch something.

"It's ok, Edward. Everything will be fine," Esme murmured to me. Leave it to Esme to always try to smooth over any situation. But how the hell was it going to be fine? If Bella didn't want to be in the baby's life, then I could actually see how living in the same town would be a problem…a problem with no simple solution.

"Maybe after the baby is born, I should just take him and move," I said quietly. "I mean, with my inheritance, I can afford to get a place and a nanny. As much as I really want to beat the shit out of Charlie, he did have a point. Bella shouldn't have to worry about running into us at the grocery store."

Carlisle took a deep breath. "Let's just think about it for a couple days," he suggested.

"Bella looked absolutely lost," Esme said, no louder than a whisper.

"I can't imagine how terrified she must be at this point," Carlisle added.

"You guys can feel sorry for her all you want, but she chose this and only she can take it back," I said coldly before retreating back up to my room.

I was more than a little upset, but even greater than that, there was a sharp pain in my gut every time I thought about the way Bella stared at me before leaving. It was haunting, but I just had no idea why. Was she angry by my comment or how I spoke to her father? Was she pissed because I refused to give up my rights to our baby? Or was it something else, something she was trying to tell me without using words? The worst part of the entire thing was the fact that if the situation was reversed, and I was the one giving her a meaningful look, she would have known exactly what I was thinking.

God, I really hated that I couldn't read her the way she always could me. I was usually pretty good at judging people's opinions on things, but not with Bella. From the very beginning, her silent thoughts and the depths of her secrets frustrated me. I had told her everything, and yet, she never truly let me inside her.

I spent the rest of that day going back and forth between being pissed, and being worried about Bella. It was fucking tiring hating someone and still loving them at the same time. But I didn't want to love her, and I was trying like hell to turn that part of me off.

Unfortunately however, I didn't have time to fully get a hold of all my thoughts and feelings on the matter, because that night, at eleven fifty pm, I got that phone call…

I wasn't surprised that it was a nurse who called me. With Carlisle being the chief of staff there, he basically made it known to all the maternity ward staff members to let me know when Bella came in. I wasn't sure if that was really legal with the whole patient confidentiality thing, but Carlisle did it anyway for me. Even though I was assured that they couldn't legally give the baby away without my permission, I still didn't trust Charlie to call me for the birth, so I was grateful for Carlisle's pull there.

I actually felt bad about waking Carlisle because it was one of his few nights off, but I needed him there with me incase everything turned ugly and I needed a lawyer.

"Carlisle," I whispered while I tried shaking him awake.

"I up!" Esme yelled as she jumped out of bed fully dressed.

"Uh…do you always sleep in your clothes?" I asked a little concerned.

"It's the baby, right? He's coming. I knew it would be tonight," she said as she started shaking Carlisle strongly. "It's time, get up!" she practically yelled.

"What...where…?" Carlisle asked groggily.

"The baby. Bella's in labor," Esme explained.

"I'll-uh meet you downstairs," I told them uncomfortably.

Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous, although I had no idea why. Perhaps it was because I had spent the past couple days trying like hell to turn off my emotions, but either way, I was actually grateful that I wasn't freaking out.

"Are you ok?" Esme asked me worriedly as the three of us drove to the hospital…. _Fuck!_ I really needed to get a car of my own.

"Yeah, fine…Why, shouldn't I be?" I asked starting to panic slightly. Maybe I was too calm; there was nothing more dangerous than the silent before the storm.

I suppose the trip to the hospital did seem to take longer than usual, and with each minute that passed, my anxiety started to slowly creep in.

"Damn it! Do you have to stop at ever fucking light? It's in the middle of the night for crying out loud!" I shouted after the third red light detained us. _There were only like five lights in that town, for fuck's sake_.

"Don't worry honey, I'm sure she still has a few hours left to go at least," Esme said soothingly.

"I just want to get there," I mumbled.

"I know sweetie," Esme said softly with a heavy smile.

Finally we arrived, but as we pulled into the parking lot, my heart started to race. So I jumped out of the car and sprinted through the hospital main entrance, and right up to the maternity floor. Everyone there knew me, so no one even batted an eye as I passed.

"What room?" I asked the head maternity nurse in the floor's nurse's station.

It was Nurse Maggie, and she knew exactly what I was talking about.

"310," she said with a wink.

"Thanks," I said quickly as I ran to find the room.

When I got there, I was surprised that Charlie was nowhere to be seen, and Bella was actually alone.

"Hey," I said quietly as I walked inside the room.

"I felt bad about the nurse calling you this late at night," Bella said calmly.

"_You_ asked the nurse to call?" I asked surprised.

"Of course," she whispered.

"Thanks," I said using the same tone she was.

I walked over to the monitor and looked over her and the baby's vitals. I was in no way educated on such things, but I had been around Carlisle enough to know a little. They both looked amazing.

"Edward," Bella said hesitantly, so I turned to face her, but then Esme and Carlisle came in, so whatever she was going to tell me fizzled away.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" Esme asked her tenderly.

"Ok, so far. I'm just a tired," Bella told her.

"Well, I'm afraid that will only get worse before it gets better," Carlisle jumped in said with a smile.

"That's true, I'm still tired from when I had Emmett," Esme joked. "I'm still waiting on the 'getting better' part."

"Is your father here with you?" Carlisle asked reluctantly.

"No…I've been staying at my friend Angela's place…she was here, but I told her to go home. The nurse said it would be awhile so I didn't see any point in her sticking around."

"So, do you want us to call Charlie?" Esme asked.

Bella shook her head. "He has a really busy day ahead of him, there's no need for him to be here."

I rolled my eyes at that one. I had a shitty father who turned into a murderer, and yet I still thought Charlie was pathetic. Bella saw the look on my face, and of course she knew exactly what I was thinking.

"I imagine being a single parent would be hard for anyone," she said bitterly. "He may be off on some of the things he does, but nobody is perfect."

"I think we can all agree on that," Carlisle appeased while patting my shoulder.

Bella's face suddenly distorted…and so did mine.

"What?" I asked in a panic, but she didn't answer me.

"Oh, a contraction," Esme said with a little too much excitement, and then she went to go sit next to Bella to hold her hand.

And just as quickly as Bella's pain came, it disappeared.

"They're getting worse," Bella said with a heavy smile.

Esme and Bella kept whispering and giggling back and forth with each other, but I seriously wanted to pull my hair out. How could they be so relaxed, especially Bella? I would think that if she was seriously planning to sign her rights away, she would be a little more glum about the entire thing…but maybe that was just me. Maybe she felt calm because she knew that once the baby was out, she'd be finished with it and with me. In fact, she was probably eager for it. _Fucking bitch_.

The hours dragged on, and Bella never once discussed what would happen to the baby after it was out…and we didn't ask her either. I came close a few times, but Carlisle pulled me out of the room, and suggested that we should wait.

"I won't let her give the baby away to someone else. Either way, you'll get to be in his life, so just don't worry about it right now. Let Bella work out what she's going to do on her own," he told me.

"Fine," I said on edge as I walked back into the room.

Bella pretty much stopped talking anyway. Her contractions were much closer, so basically she just laid there, still holding Esme's hand. But I felt like I was going crazy, and I had begun pacing around the room with my anxiety reaching an all time high. I even yelled at a nurse at some point, though I wasn't exactly sure why. Most of that night and following morning was a daze, and I was sure that once it was over, I wouldn't remember much of it.

"We're close; I say in the next half hour or so we can start pushing," the doctor told Bella while he removed his gloves, and headed back out of the room.

"_We' _can start pushing, like as in _you_ and her?" I asked him irritated.

"Edward, it's just the way people speak," Esme chided. "It's all going to be ok."

To be honest, I really didn't like that young looking doctor sticking his fingers all up in Bella…It was one thing to have an old fat dude or a woman doing it, but it really irked me to no end having this particular doctor touching her there, and I was just supposed to sit by and watch that shit. Regardless of where our relationship was heading, she was still technically my wife, and no man should have to see another man with his fingers inside his wife like that.

"Bella honey, do you want me to stay, or would you refer some privacy when the baby comes out."

"I'm not going anywhere, by the way," I butted in, but they both ignored me.

"Will you stay?" Bella asked, suddenly sounding like a child who wanted to sit on her mommy's lap while she got an injection. It was rather odd. I knew they had become close, but Esme really looked at Bella just as she would if Alice were in her position, and Bella was almost dependant on her in return.

"Of course," Esme said, and went to sit back next to her. Carlisle had the day off, but because he was there, the staff just thought they could call on him for anything just as if he was working, so he was out and about making rounds. I suppose it was for the best anyway, Bella was cool with Esme, but I could see how having Carlisle in there would be uncomfortable for her.

"Should we call your father now?" A nurse asked Bella.

"No, I'll talk to him later," Bella said nervously.

"But, you're still a minor," the nurse commented.

"Yeah, and I'm her husband, so she doesn't need a legal guardian," I snapped.

"Oh…ok," the nurse said uncomfortably, before walking back out of the room.

The doctor came back twenty minutes later to check Bella again, and it was time.

The next thing I knew, Bella was soon covered in sweat, and her face looked like it was going to explode as she did her pushing, but she never screamed. Although she tried to hide it, Esme looked like she was in pain from how tightly Bella was holding her hand, but I was definitely glad she was there for her. Bella needed a mom, and even if it was temporary, it was good she had one to see her through it all.

Since Bella had Esme there, she didn't seem to want to hold my hand, which I was perfectly fine by; we were on a way to a divorce, so pretending otherwise just didn't make sense. Besides, I wanted to see everything that was happening, and I couldn't do that from sitting by her head.

"The baby is crowning. Ok Bella, a few more pushes," the doctor instructed.

Fuck.

It was one of those all too familiar feelings of a surrealistic out of body haze. I tried to knock myself out of it and focus, but it seemed like a lost cause. I couldn't believe it was all actually happening, and despite everything else, I was about to become a father.

She must have pushed a couple more times, but I wasn't aware of it because the next thing I knew, I was watching my son's head coming out, followed by his shoulders, and then…

"It's a girl," the doctor said as he put the baby on Bella's chest.

Esme started bawling, but Bella and I were both in shock, and it really had nothing to do with the baby's surprise sex. We were parents, and not even signing away rights could change that.

"Would you like to cut the cord?" the doctor asked me.

I must have nodded, because he handed me the scissors and directed me on what to do. I couldn't even feel my hands as I made the cut, but it seemed to work ok, because my screaming daughter was then permanently detached from Bella.

_I had a daughter_.

I watched protectively as the nurses cleaned, measured, and weighed the tiny new person, but I nearly lost it when she poked my baby's foot to draw blood. Thank god Carlisle showed up then, and told me it was all going to be fine, otherwise, I may have punched the bitch.

But then the woman smiled and placed my daughter in my arms for the first time, and everything else disappeared around me. There was no room for anger then, it didn't even exist in the world I had fallen into with her little body snug in my arms. Nothing before that moment mattered, and there was no feeling in the world that could possibly compare.

As I stared at her perfectly squished face, I knew my life would never be the same. I had the overwhelming urge to make promising to her, but I firmly kept the words locked inside. I couldn't swear that I'd keep her safe when I failed to do so with my sister; I couldn't assure her that the world would be far kinder to her than it was to most others, because it just wasn't true. But I could commit myself to doing anything in my power to make her life as good as possible, and that's what I planned to do.

I held her up against my chest and kissed her tiny head, and then carefully brought her over to Bella.

They had just finished fixing Bella up when I came over, so she looked a little frazzled, but then she turned and stared at us, and smiled.

"Can I hold her?" she asked after a minute, with her hands outstretched towards me.

"Of course," I said and then kissed her little head again, before maneuvering her into Bella's arms.

The baby was surprisingly alert for a newborn, and she looked at Bella, and Bella stared teary eyed back.

"She looks like you," Bella said without turning her gaze away from the baby.

I scrunched my eyebrows. "She looks like every other baby in the nursery," I rebutted. Of course, I thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, but I mean really, she didn't look like anyone at that point.

"No…just wait, she's going to look just like you," Bella said while smiling at her. "So….what are we going to name her?" she asked unexpectedly.

"We?" I questioned lightly. If Bella still planned on giving her away, I highly doubted she would want to be the one to name her.

And of course, Bella knew right away the meaning behind my question.

"Edward, I was so stupid to think I could ever give her up. It was ridiculous and irrational. I really have no idea what I was thinking, and I'm so sorry I put you through all that," she said emotionally as she finally looked up at me.

It was like someone just removed a mountain off of my chest with how much relief I felt from her words. Even though I was sure I could handle everything on my own, I knew she would have eventually regretted her decision, which would have made her miss out on so much time. Bella and our daughter needed each other, and knowing they were going to stay together was beyond words.

"I'm glad you changed your mind," I said sincerely. "What about your dad, though?" I asked, not really concerned myself, but I knew it would be an issue for her.

She shrugged. "It doesn't really matter."

"Knock, knock," Esme said as she came back into the room. I didn't even realize that she had left, but I suppose she went to fetch Carlisle, because he followed her in.

"Hi," Bella said with a smile.

"Oo-wa," Esme said excitedly as she looked at my daughter wrapped up securely in Bella's arms. "She's so beautiful. You did an amazing job, honey," she said before kissing Bella's head, and then hurrying over to kiss me as well.

"I'm proud of you, son," Carlisle said quietly to me, and surprisingly, I was proud of myself too. Even through all my fucked up shit, I still managed to be half responsible for bringing a perfect person into the world. It was a kind of heady feat. I never imagined anything nearly as amazing, could possibly come from me.

"Do you want to hold her?" Bella asked as she offered the baby to Esme.

"Are you kidding? Of course I do," she said as she took the baby. Esme smiled and cooed at her for a few minutes, before giving Carlisle a turn.

"Ahh," he said with a smile. "She looks just like Bree."

Besides thinking that all babies looked alike, his comment took me off guard. I never once considered that my child could resemble my sister, but I suppose it would make sense. Unfortunately, both Bree and I resembled our father, which was something I had to deal with every time I looked in the fucking mirror... but if my daughter ended up looking like us as well, I knew I would never be resentful of those familiar features again.

"So, what's her name?" Esme asked us both. Bella didn't need to tell them that she changed her mind; it was clear by the way she lovingly took her back in her arms, and looked at her with pure devotion.

"We haven't figured it out yet," I told them.

"Oh, well, we'll leave you two alone to talk then," Carlisle said as he grabbed Esme by her sleeve, and had to practically drag her out of the room.

"So?" I asked when we were alone.

Bella shrugged. "After my first suggestion went…wrong," Bella said hesitantly, referring her desire to name our baby 'Edward'. "I was thinking about naming him after your other dad…but now I have no idea."

"You wanted to name him Carlisle?" I asked surprised.

"I just like the idea of a name meaning something."

"Ok, so who could we name _her_ after now?" I asked.

"Well...Carlisle did say she looked like Bree," Bella said nervously.

I thought about it, but I quickly realized that it would be far too distracting. "I just can't look at her and call her Bree," I said honestly.

"Oh, right. Sorry, I didn't even think about that," she said quietly.

"But, maybe it could work for a middle name," I suggested.

"Really?" she said with a smile.

We tossed around a few other names, but nothing really fit. We even considered naming her after Esme, but I remembered how she always said that she hated her name, so we decided against that as well. Bella kept going back to Carlisle and thought it could work for a girl, but I thought she was pretty silly for thinking it.

"Well, what about Carlie then?" she said suddenly. "It's close to Carlisle, but more feminine."

I nodded. "I like that."

"Me too, and she even looks like a Carlie…. Carlie Breanna Masen," she said with a proud smile.

When Esme and Carlisle came back in, we told them the name and they absolutely loved it.

"We were thinking of putting 'Esme' in there somewhere too," Bella told them.

"Oh don't you dare do that to that child," Esme said seriously. "My mother was crazy for naming me after my great grandmother. The name you picked is beautiful."

Bella and I spent the next day and a half, just marveling over our new daughter. I never once thought an ultrasound could have been wrong, but at that point, I couldn't even fathom the idea of having a boy. Other than the fact that it sucked we had bought everything in blue, nothing could really dampen those first few days.

But then it was time to take her home…..

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><p><strong>*** I wonder how their homecoming will be. Hmmm…<strong>

**So, yeah, the name is still Carlie. Someone asked me why I always name their daughter that, and it's because unless the name doesn't work with the story, that's just what I feel her name is. It's about canon; I wouldn't suddenly change Alice's name to Monica. Their daughter's name was Renesmee Carlie in the real 'Twilight' saga, and since Renesmee is a little odd for a 'human', I stick with her middle name ;-)**

**Ok, like with everything else I write, there is a banner on my profile for this version as well. No spoilers, so go check it out….it may just make you go 'Ahhh' **

**There are still some things left to fix (yes, more drama), so until next time…**

**Please Review**


	3. Ch 17 Love and Hate

**Unintended – A Loss of Faith**

A/N: Sorry for the late update, I've been a little busier than normal the past couple days and didn't have much time for writing.

Anyway, this chapter is a lot of baby stuff. If that's not your thing then don't worry, we'll move on in the next chapter. I just thought Edward needed some bonding time with his new daughter ;-)

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><p>~Chapter 17 – <em>Love and Hate<em>~

_Bella and I spent the next day and a half, just marveling over our new daughter. I never once thought an ultrasound could have been wrong, but at that point, I couldn't even fathom the idea of having a boy. Other than the fact that it sucked we had bought everything in blue, nothing could really dampen those first few days. _

_But then it was time to take her home….._

"So, Carlisle and Esme should be here soon to bring us home," I told Bella as we were waiting for the release papers. "I know, I really need to buy a new car, so Carlisle agreed to let me dip in to my inheritance. But I'm not going to buy something extravagant, just safe and reliable," I assured her. If I was trying to be a hard ass like I always was in the past, I would have thought my 'safe' comment was pathetic, but I didn't give a shit about any of that anymore. My daughter's safety was of the utmost important thing in my world.

"Uh…Angela is actually on her way here right now," Bella said unexpectedly.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Why the hell would Angela come?"

Angela had already been there to visit Bella and Carlie, and I had even given them time alone to talk about girly shit, so I just really didn't understand why Angela would be coming to the hospital right then when we were ready to leave. Unless…

"You're not coming home with me?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Edward….everything will be ok. We'll split her time between us, and we'll work together on raising her…but we just can't be married anymore..."

"Why not?" I snapped at her. "Bella, this is fucking ridiculous, and you know it. We should be together, but you're letting your stupid friends and your idiot father tear us apart."

"I decided this, not them," she said defensively. "Edward, we're just not right for each other… I thought you understood that."

"What the fuck am I supposed to do now, huh? Go back to the Cullen's without you and Carlie, and just sit in my room alone until you say it's a good time for me to come visit my own fucking kid?" I asked sourly.

"Edward, please," she said with tears in her eyes. "I can't focus on trying to figure out how to be a mother, when all I want to do around you is cry. We're not ok; nothing about our marriage was right, and I can't do it anymore."

"So what? You're just going to go bunk with Angela, and keep her up all night with a screaming newborn as well? That's not fair to her," I said bitterly, and to be perfectly honest, I was trying to give her a guilt trip.

"Angela's parents have a little apartment above their garage. They usually keep it for her grandma when she's in town, but they said I could stay there with Carlie until I graduate and can get a place of my own," she explained with stress heavy in her voice.

I shook my head. "This is wrong."

"We're just going to have to make out a schedule so we both can get as much time with her as possible…I was thinking we'd split the weeks up. Three days with you and four with me, and then the following week we'll trade; four with you and three with me."

"Oh, you just have this all planned out, don't you?" I asked coldly. "How the fuck do you expect me to go four whole days at a time without seeing her?"

"Look, the apartment at Angela's has outside access, so…you can come and go anytime you want. I promise, I'll never stop you from seeing her. I was mainly just thinking about nights for the time split. This will work out best for all of us, because on the nights we don't have her, we can get caught up on homework and everything else that may be hard to do while taking care of a newborn."

"If you came back home with me, then we could take care of her together and team up when it comes to homework and shit like that," I said evenly.

I was absolutely livid about the entire thing; only being responsible for my child half the time, wasn't what I had planned. It was all ridiculous, and Bella was ridiculous for even thinking it. We were happy for a time, not even she could deny it, so why the hell couldn't she suck it up and try again for our daughter's sake?

"Edward…do you love me?" she asked me abruptly.

Her question pissed me off more than I was expecting. It wasn't fair for her to ask me that, especially when we both knew she saw right through all my lies.

"Yes," I said resentfully. I hated her for making me say it, and I hated her even more because she was leaving me for good, but I couldn't hate her completely; not when she was the mother of my child and I was still in love with her.

"Then…just please….let me go," she murmured emotionally.

Her words cut like a fucking knife and I felt lost for an excruciating long moment, but then my fight or flight self-protection mechanism switched on. I recognized the feeling, Dr. Amun had been working with me on that very issue, but I couldn't control it at that moment, the pain was just too severe and I couldn't help but lash back out at her.

"You know what, you can go fuck yourself. And don't think I'm just going to wait around for you to change your mind, either. You want to be done with us, then fine, we're done for good. Consider me over this," I said as I grabbed my coat and stormed out of the room.

I was so blindly angry, that I ended up two blocks away from the hospital before I finally got a hold of my emotions and realized what the hell I just did. I was such a fucking idiot that I didn't even kiss my daughter before leaving, and no matter how upset I was about everything, I needed to calm down enough to discuss the Carlie custody calendar.

I was a fucking douche, and I knew it. Bella had every right to want to divorce me, and I suppose we were probably better off apart…that didn't make it any easier though.

I hurried back to the hospital, but as I walked past the parking lot, I saw Angela Webber's car pulling out with Bella in the passenger seat.

_FUCK!_

Luckily, Carlisle and Esme pulled up right then, so I practically jumped into their back seat, and asked them to take me to Angela's house.

"What happened?" Esme asked concerned. So I told them…everything, even my douche-y remarks.

"I just need to get over there and apologize."

"Well, that's a mature thing to do," Carlisle said approvingly.

"I know this seems difficult right now, but it will all work itself out," Esme said encouragingly.

We pulled up to the Webber's house, and Angela was standing outside next to her opened car trunk. She looked to be bringing all the baby stuff inside, so I assumed Bella was already in there with Carlie.

"Hi," Angela said, surprised to see me.

"Hey," I said awkwardly. "Here, let me help you with that stuff," I said as I grabbed the baby things from her hands.

"Thanks," she said uncomfortably. "Uh, they're right up there," she said while pointing to the stairs besides the garage.

I ran the stuff up the rickety staircase, and hesitantly knocked lightly on the opened door. I looked inside, but I didn't see Bella so I walked in and down the narrow hall to where I assumed the bedroom was.

"Bella?" I said quietly. If Carlie was sleeping, I definitely didn't want to wake her.

"In here," I heard Bella's voice carry, so I followed the direction it came from, and peeked inside the room. "You're here," she said surprised.

"Yeah…I'm sorry for how I acted back there," I mumbled. Apologizing was definitely not easy for me.

Bella pressed her lips. "I can imagine how difficult this is for you," she replied quietly. Despite being furious at the situation she put us in, I couldn't help but think that she was absolutely stunning as she sat there in an old squeaky rocking chair while feeding my baby. It was almost animalistic in a sense that the natural act was a complete turn on… but I had to push that part of me away. She didn't want me like that anymore, and I had to accept it.

"I don't want to bother you, or upset you anymore. I just needed to tell you that I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said that shit and then run off like that. We need to work together with all of this, and come up with a plan for moving forward."

She nodded in agreement. "Thanks for coming…_this_ is really weird though," she said while glancing down at Carlie on her breast.

"Uh…I've literally seen every inch of your body," I said, slightly insulted by her sudden modesty. I even watched our baby as she came out, so I truly didn't understand why the hell she would worry about her breast exposed.

"Well…things are…_different_ now," she said, adding yet another jab to my already aching gut. I had a strong urge to tell her to go fuck herself again, but I bit my tongue. It wasn't fucking important anymore; she wanted us over, so we were. We needed to co-parent, but other than that, there was nothing left to say between us.

"So, how are we going to split this?" I asked emotionlessly.

"Well, I don't know how long I can do this nursing thing for…it really hurts, so…maybe just give me the first four nights with her, and then you can have your three. They say the first week is most important for nursing anyway. So…but you can still see her every day, I'll just have her here with me at night," she said in a rush.

"Fine….I'm going to go for now, but I'll be back a little later to see her," I told Bella. At that point, I really didn't care about her modesty, so I went over and kissed Carlie on her head, making Bella stiffen uncomfortably, which I carelessly ignored.

"Daddy loves you," I whispered to my baby, before turning and walking out of the room without saying another word to Bella.

Esme and Carlisle were still waiting in their car for me, and they were wearing identical masks of concern when they saw me storming down the stairs.

"Is everything ok?" Esme asked when I got inside and slammed the door after me.

"It's fucking peachy," I said rudely, but then I explained. "Bella wants to do some ridiculous shared custody thing, and she refuses to come back home with us."

"Oh…well, does she even have a crib and baby supplies?" Esme asked worriedly.

"It looked like she was using the Webber's old shit," I told them bitterly.

Just then, Alice pulled up with a few of her friends.

"Hey honey, what are you doing here?" Esme asked sweetly.

"Are you kidding, I'm bringing my niece some much needed outfits. Don't worry, I donated all the boy stuff," she said happily.

"Wait, how the hell did you know Bella was going to live here?" I asked frustrated.

"Oh…well, I text Angela a few hours ago," she said reluctantly. "Anyhoo, I better bring this stuff up. I bet Bella still has her in the unisex clothes the hospital gave her," she said, disgusted by the thought. "Will you come back here later? Rose and Emmett said they wanted to stop by."

"Yeah, I'm coming back later. Bella just seemed like she could use some time to get _settled in_," I said scornfully.

"Oh…ok," Alice said with a shrug and a carefree smile.

Carlisle drove me home, and of course, I went straight up to my depressing room, except everything seemed different. The entire world was different since my baby entered it, and yet I couldn't describe the change. It was like nothing mattered anymore other than her…and she was on the opposite side of town, which might as well have been on the other side of the planet. It was fucking miserable.

A few hours later, I borrowed Esme's car and went back to the Webber's, but it wasn't much better than the last time. I sat there for over an hour while Bella fed Carlie again, and then I held her for awhile, and we were both grateful when Rose and Em showed up to alleviate some of the heaviness that surrounded us. But they couldn't stay for long, so I followed their lead and decided to go home for the night as well. The whole day was unfulfilling, to say the least.

The next few days went in the exact same way. Bella and I didn't speak other than about Carlie, but as awkward as it was, I was willing to endure it to spend time with my daughter.

But then it was time for Carlie to come to my house. She would basically be with me until we had to start school again the following week, which I was actually thrilled about. Bella was healing quickly and she said she'd be ready for school as well, which I personally thought was absurd. There was no reason why Bella needed to rush back into it, but I suppose she was anxious for any sense of normalcy, and with Carlie being with me for a few nights, Bella would get that chance to really sleep beforehand.

"So, have you set up daycare for Carlie yet?" Esme asked Bella and me at dinner. Bella was basically there to drop off Carlie, but Esme insisted that she stayed.

"Uh…" Bella looked at me questionably.

"No, we haven't figured it out yet," I said flatly. It was pretty pathetic that we were about to return to school in a few days and had no idea what to do with our newborn while we were there.

"Well, if you need some extra time to figure out something, Rose and Emmett will be back next week, and I'm sure they'd love to watch her until they have to go to school again," Esme suggested.

"Really? That's a good idea," Bella said quickly, which was basically the most she said the entire time she was there. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, as Esme was putting dessert together, she kissed Carlie and then hurriedly said goodbye before leaving for the evening.

_What the fuck?_

"Is Bella ok?" Esme asked, just as stunned as I was.

"Uh…I don't know…I assume so." Perhaps I would have been more concerned about her strange behavior if Carlie didn't decide to pick that moment to scream bloody murder.

"Is she hungry?" I asked Esme in almost a panic.

"Maybe….why don't you go change her diaper and get her PJs on, and I'll heat her up a bottle."

I nodded. "Ok, yeah."

I carried her up to my room, where Alice had almost completely changed into a pink nursery over the course of a day, and I gently laid her on the changing thingy. I had quickly caught on to the whole diaper thing, but this would be my first un-chaperoned venture, and as I thought about my very first diaper attempt in the hospital, I got a little nervous that I was about to do it on my own.

…..

"_Edward, you have to wipe from front to back," Esme explained as she was helping me. __Bella or the hospital nurses had been doing all the changing before that, but they all thought it was time for me to learn._

"_What difference does that make?" I asked baffled._

"_With little girls it's important. Trust me, I had to learn all this stuff when Alice was a baby too. I already had Emmett, but I didn't understand that girls were so different…and I have a vagina of my own."_

"_Ugh Esme! Too much information," I said disturbed._

"_Edward, half of the world's population have vaginas, there's nothing wrong with it," she said seriously, but with a teasing undertone. _

"_Doesn't mean I want to hear about yours," I said quickly._

_She went on to explain exactly why the wiping was important, and I knew I'd never look of vaginas the same again. Yep, I was fucked. _

_After putting the diaper on backwards twice, I finally got it. _

_But the second time I changed her, it was actually even worse._

"_Whoa…what the hell!" I shouted as Carlie peed straight up in the air. _

"_Don't worry, everything is fine," Esme said as she quickly covered her so the pee would be contained. Bella was laughing hysterically from her hospital bed, but I ignored her._

"_How the hell did she do that? I thought only boys pee in the air," I asked, seriously puzzled._

"_Sometimes the stream gets caught in the folds, and with enough force…" Esme started, but I didn't need for her to finish._

"_Ok, I got it!" I said quickly._

…..

Every time I changed her I got better, and I learned to anticipate certain things like the aerial piss. Once I got the hang of it and learned the dos and don'ts, it was all simple, and my first solo change ended up being no different.

"We got this, huh princess," I cooed as I walked her back down the stairs to get the bottle.

"How did it go?" Esme asked with a smile.

"We teamed up, and she walked me through it," I said with a cheesy grin.

"Great, well here's the bottle…perfect temperature, if I do say so myself," Esme said, playfully smug.

"Thanks," I said as I took it from her. I decided to go back upstairs to feed her, just to have a little one on one quiet time, and everything was absolutely perfect. I was a fucking natural. Whoever said that newborns were difficult, was seriously pathetic.

Carlie went down early, and as expected, she woke up every three hours for a bottle all night long. The first couple feedings were tiring and I practically slept through them, but she went right back to sleep afterwards, and by the third time, I actually got used to it a bit.

The next day also went smoothly, and I was seriously thinking that parenthood in general was easy; she basically ate, slept, and pooped. Simple. The only thing that was unexpected, was that Bella never came by. I called her, and texted her, and just when I was about to go search for her, she finally called me back.

"Where the hell have you been?" I asked irately. Carlie could have been in the hospital for all she knew.

"Sorry, I went job hunting all afternoon, and then Angela and her parents took me out for an early dinner," she said casually.

"Job hunting?" I asked appalled.

"Yes Edward, I need to get a job," she said slowly.

"Fuck that shit! I'll pay for all your expenses. You should be spending your time with Carlie," I said heatedly.

"I'm only going to work on the evenings that you have her. At least this way, it'll get me started and I can pick up more hours after graduation."

"Bella, you don't need to do this."

"Yes, I do; save your money for Carlie's future or if things ever get desperate, but I need to feel like I'm doing my share in supporting her financially. I'm sorry if you don't understand it, but it's just something I need to do."

"No, I don't understand it; in fact, I think it's selfish of you!" I said just softer than a yell. She was pissing me off over the entire thing, and all she would end up doing from it, was exhausting herself and not having enough energy for Carlie.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," she said bitterly before hanging up on me. Fucking bitch.

After I put Carlie down that night, I tried to get some sleep because I knew it was going to be another long night, but I just couldn't relax. Bella was being retarded and I was getting more and more pissed about the entire thing as the night wore on. It had been over twenty four hours since Bella had seen Carlie, and I just didn't understand how she could possibly be cool with that.

Sure enough, right on time, Carlie woke for her midnight feeding. But I wasn't worried, Carlie was an easy baby and I knew she'd be back to sleep in an hour….except, she wasn't.

"What's wrong baby girl?" I asked as I walked around our room, bouncing her on my shoulder to try to get her to fall asleep, but she just kept crying.

I tried a different position but she just screamed more, so I put her back on my shoulder, and suddenly she threw up all down my back. It was absolutely disgusting. What came out of that little baby was rancid and made me want to barf myself. But, she finally stopped crying.

I laid her in her cradle thing, and then changed my shirt; I realized I still stunk, but by then, I was just too tired to give a shit. I laid awake for a few minutes, still thinking about Bella, and just when I finally fell asleep again, Carlie woke back up.

"Hey, what's going on with you tonight, huh?" I asked her softly. "I thought we had a whole system worked out."

But then I felt something wet…and it wasn't pee or vomit. What the fuck? I turned on the light, and gagged several times before I got a hold of myself. There was poop…_everywhere_; in her PJs, on her bed, even in her fucking hair, and now, all over me as well.

I really didn't know what to do. I couldn't put her back in the cradle, and I couldn't lay her on my bed like that. The floor definitely wasn't an option either.

"Now what?" I asked myself anxiously as Carlie continued to scream her head off uncontrollably.

Thankfully, there was a life saving knock on the door.

"Hi honey, do you need….oh my," Esme said when she saw us covered in feces.

"Please," I said desperately.

Esme took her from me so I could change, and then somehow, she also managed to run a bath for her as well.

"How did you…?" I asked astonished.

She shrugged. "Years and years of practice. You'll get the hang of it eventually," she said with a wink.

I had no idea what I would have done without Esme, but it also made me wonder how the hell Bella managed it all by herself. I guess I could see why she would need a break.

"I never knew so much stuff could come out of something so small," I said as I changed the sheet in the cradle.

"It looks like more than it is. My guess is that she drank her bottle too fast and got a sour stomach. She's used to nursing, which is a much slower flow," she explained.

"Oh…what should I do to change that?" I asked worriedly.

"She'll get used to it; it all just takes time."

Esme helped me finish everything, and then she kissed both of us goodnight, before going back to bed. I really didn't know how I would have gotten through any of it without her, and without me even realizing it, I had unintentionally began looking at Esme as a real mom to me, though I'd probably never admit that out loud.

The next day was back to being better, but I would never take that for granted again. At any moment, all hell could break lose, but strangely, I actually felt even closer to Carlie because of it. We had been to battle together, and I was sure that next time, we'd be able to handle it on our own. It made me feel like a real parent, because not everything was peace and lovey-dovey coos, and I was finally really beginning to understand that.

Bella did come by the next day. She stayed for a few hours and held Carlie the entire time, refusing to put her down even while she slept. But then she left again, and didn't call or come back to check on her until the next day. Once again, she held her close like she hadn't seen her in years, rather than several hours, and then she was gone a little while later.

I didn't understand her behavior, but Carlisle suggested that perhaps she was trying to learn how to deal with the separation so that we could truly have our own time with Carlie, but I didn't really buy that. Something was up with her, but I just didn't know what it was.

* * *

><p><strong>***What a difference a mom makes, right? In the alternate universe (i.e. the original version) Bella lived with the Cullens during the first year of Carlie's life; I wonder how this change has affected her. <strong>

**Hmmm… **

**We find out more about her, and they also return to school, coming up next.**

**Please Review**


	4. Ch 18 The Calm

**Unintended – A Loss of Faith**

~Chapter 18 – _The Calm_~

Emmett and Rose came back, and of course, immediately started doting all over Carlie. It was extremely comforting to know that they would be taking care of her for the first week that I had to be in school. It was good to know that I could be confident and trust her caregivers, which was definitely something I was worried about doing with strangers.

Carlisle's lawyer threat to the school had worked, and they allowed me back, but a part of me wished that they hadn't; I hated the idea of being gone all day. But I suppose it was for the best, I needed to graduate if I even had the hope of making a decent living for my family's future.

Surprisingly, on the last day before school was to begin, Bella came over and spent the entire day with Carlie. She was attentive and very loving to our daughter, and practically did every feeding and diaper change there was to do. It was odd, but it felt really good and made me think that perhaps I was overreacting when it came to her distant behavior before.

On top of Bella's eagerness to be around the baby, she was also unexpectedly energetic. She was peppy and friendly with everyone, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say she was outright bubbly. I didn't get it, but it was an amazing change so I wasn't going to question it. She was even joking around with me, which was nice.

"So, any more poop explosions?" she asked me with a smile.

"No. Thank god. I was just lucky to have Esme here to help me," I said honestly.

"I don't know Edward, she was perfect with me, maybe it's just you," she said teasingly.

"Well, I guess it's only fair; you had to do the whole birthing thing, so I'll take the poop," I said seriously, and then Bella started laughing, so I did too.

"I don't know, I think I still may have had it easier," she said in between her laughter.

It felt incredible to laugh and just be casually light with her, although, it did make me miss our time together even more. But it also further proved that what we had before was real; it wasn't just about sex and being physically connected. Our bond went beyond that, and I missed her like hell.

"Hey Edward, I found a possible car for you on Craig's List…do you want to go and check it out?" Carlisle asked that afternoon.

I looked at Bella, still being perfectly attentive to Carlie, and asked her "do you mind?"

She shook her head. "No, you should go. You could definitely use a car about now," she said with a smile.

"Yeah…I guess it's time to be responsible and all that shit," I said jokingly. "Will you still be here when I get back?"

"Yeah…Esme said I need to stay for dinner," she said with faux annoyance.

"Ok, I'll be back soon," I assured her before taking off with Carlisle. We drove out to Port Angeles where the car was located, but I nearly lost it when we got there.

_It was a fucking minivan. _

"Uh…no way in hell," I said bitterly.

"Edward, come on. It's a Volvo just like your old car."

"No, this is not just like my old car, this is a fucking minivan."

"It's a two year old XC60, and it's more like a car/SUV crossover. It has one of the highest safety ratings in crash tests out there, and in the harsh weather out here, this would be perfect," he said suggestively, and he knew he had me. The bastard was positive that I wouldn't argue with him over the issue of safety, and he was fucking playing me. If I'd be driving Carlie around, then I needed a safe car…I just didn't want _that_ fucking car.

"Fine," I said irritated.

Carlisle paid the man, with my money of course, and then I drove it home as Carlisle drove his car. To be honest, it was kind of cool to drive. It was smooth and had a strong engine, so I suppose it could have been worse. Volvos were good cars; I just wished I was still driving my mother's instead.

When I pulled back into the Cullen's driveway behind Carlisle, everyone came out to see my new car, including Bella with Carlie in her arms.

"Whoa, I like this," Esme said approvingly.

"Hold on, let's check this out," Rose said as she popped open the hood to look at the engine.

"This baby has some power," Emmett said as he looked over Rose's shoulder.

"It's still a minivan," I mumbled.

"Hmmm," Bella said as she casually got into the back seat. "What do you think, did daddy get a good car?" she asked Carlie.

Seeing Bella and Carlie in the back seat made it all worth it. It made the whole 'family car' thing seem so much more appealing as I imagined the three of us going places together. We could take Carlie to the park or even the beach, and have enough room to put all the baby stuff inside…._Yeah, I was seriously pathetic._

"Do _you_ like it?" I asked Bella when everyone else went back inside.

"Are you kidding? I think it's awesome," she said enthusiastically.

"You know, we should really get you a new car too. Maybe you should drive this one, and then…"

"No. Edward, stop trying to control everything," she said bitterly while quickly getting out of the car.

"What? I just think you need a safer car," I said defensively.

"There is nothing wrong with my car. I admit, that truck was unreliable, but what I drive now is fine."

Since Bella's truck broke down several months before, she picked up a cheap Tempo, which I thought was hideously appalling. But she wouldn't even consider me buying her a new car, and I knew that, but I thought I'd try it anyway.

Despite Bella's irritation with me, she stayed through dinner, laughed and joked around with everyone, and waited until Carlie went to sleep before kissing her and leaving. She was going to bring her back home with her, but we both figured it made more sense to leave her with me since Emmett and Rose would be watching her the next day.

And I was surprised once again when Bella showed up the next morning to kiss Carlie before school. It was going to be strange being back at school after the entire world had changed in the way that it had, but I was glad we'd have each other to get through it…at least I hoped we would.

Bella and I kissed our daughter goodbye, and then we each took our own cars to school. I would have offered her a ride, but I really didn't want a fight right then. But as I pulled into the Forks high parking lot, I remembered just how much I fucking hated that place. Even with the world changing since Carlie's birth, I soon realized that didn't pertain to that fucking hell school.

I ignored everyone as I walked through the halls in between classes, and during break, I did the 'dad' thing and went to my car to call Emmett.

"How is she?" I asked overly paranoid.

"She's perfect, man. Nothing to worry about," Emmett assured me. "Oh, hold on, Bella is on the other line," he said with a laugh before clicking over to talk to her…_at least Bella was giving a shit_. I glanced over towards Bella's car, and saw her in there talking on the phone, and I couldn't help but to smile a bit. We were both pathetic.

"Ok man, she's cool, I swear," Emmett said to me after a minute.

"Alright, thanks," I said before hanging up. Bella had already started walking back into campus, so I rushed to catch up to her.

"Fancy meeting you here," I joked as I walked casually beside her.

"Emmett said he was talking to you," she said with a smirk.

I shrugged. "It's weird how a baby can change a guy."

She nodded. "I'm really impressed with you Edward. You really seem to be all about Carlie."

"I am…but I think that even the biggest prick in the fucking world could be softened by her," I said with a grin. "Has anyone given you any shit yet?" I asked protectively.

"No, I've pretty much kept my head down. I'm sure people are talking, but…I just really don't care."

"Yeah…none of this shit seems to matter anymore," I agreed. "But I am hungry. Do you want to go to the cafeteria with me and get some lunch?"

She bit her lip, and then reluctantly nodded. "Yeah, I guess I should eat too."

After waiting in the lunch line, we went and sat at our old table. Our combined group of friends was still there, and they welcomed us back in the group without any issues…but it all seemed like irritating mindless chatter, and it was actually giving me a migraine.

None of them asked about our baby, not that I expected them to or anything. Garrett had stopped by a couple times to see her during vacation, and of course Angela knew her, but no one else gave two shits; although, if I had known someone with a kid before, I wouldn't have cared either.

I hated every minute of school and all I wanted to do was go home, but I didn't really have a choice in the matter. I glanced at Bella who was sitting next to me, and she looked back with an expression that matched my own. We were both done pretending to be kids, and it was definitely getting to us.

"Hey Masen," Laurence said as he walked past our group. "I see the Mrs. has lost a few pounds over the break," he said rudely. "How is fucking now, by the way? I bet it sucks since she's all stretched from shitting out your disgusting kid."

My hands clinched my napkin tightly, and I struggled to remember the reason why I couldn't kick his ass right then and there. I was allowed back at the school, but if I got into one more fucking fight, I'd be out permanently, which I couldn't let happen…._I couldn't let happen…I couldn't let happen_… Except, one more word from that son of a bitch, and I knew I would lose all control.

"Hey Bella, if Edward's dick isn't big enough to get your needs met with your new cunt size, then just let me know, and I'll take care of it for you," Laurence said to Bella…and there was no way I was going to sit by and take that shit.

I could feel it coming. The anger. It was consuming me, and I was about to lose to it in five, four, three, two….and then like a lifeline thrown to a drowning victim, Bella gently placed her hand on my thigh, and a wave of calm washed over me. Just her simple touch was all I needed to rediscover my priorities. I didn't give a shit about Laurence, and years from now, he'd probably be nothing more than a homeless dude begging for money on a corner somewhere. Whereas I was going to be a college graduate complete with a career and a family. It was my goal, and I refused to let that motherfucker get in my way.

"Actually Laurence," Bella said suddenly. "I know a couple girls who have seen your dick, and they assure me, it's nothing you should be bragging about. Have you ever even fucked the same chick twice?"

"No…that's not how I roll. I get bored easily," he said, unsure why she asked, and bitter over the beginning of her comment.

"Well that's just what you tell yourself. In reality, no chick would ever want to fuck you for a second time because you suck at it, and your dick is practically nonexistent," Bella said casually.

"And how the fuck would you know? Obviously if chicks are talking about me, then I left a lasting impression," he said defensively.

"Oh, you left a lasting impression all right…a negative one. Girls don't gossip for the hell of it Laurence, they basically just look out for each other so their friends don't make the same mistakes they did. You are disgusting, and all the chicks here know it….and by the way, Edward won your fucking bet. He fucked me…LONG before that spring dance…. So, give him his fucking car back!" Bella said strongly.

There were a lot of OOOOs from people around us, but I was fucking speechless. I had no idea she was capable of speaking like that…but it was fucking hot as hell.

"Really Masen, you're seriously going to let your chick fight your battles for you?" Laurence asked me.

I shrugged. "Well it's not hard when I know she's tougher than the opponent," I said cockily.

"There's no proof he won the bet, in fact, he probably told you to say that shit," Laurence said feebly.

"I got pregnant the day before that dance, so if you want, we can get technical with all this shit…besides, it really doesn't matter anyway. Edward still has the ownership papers which means, if you don't give it back to him, he can call the police and report it stolen…you seriously don't want that kind of trouble, do you?" she asked him in a sickly sweet tone. God she was fucking killing me, and the worst part was knowing she still wasn't going to let me touch her afterwards.

Laurence stepped forward so he could speak quietly to me. "I'd watch your fucking back Masen, you might just get a bullet in your ass."

"In the ass? No, only you take things in the ass," I said with a smug laugh.

The guy looked like he wanted to kill me, but he settled for walking away. Bella had just publically handed him his dick on a chopping block, and he ran away like the little bitch that he was. Fucking pussy.

"Whoa Bella, nice," one of her friends said. I really had no idea how to respond to her after that, I suppose I should have thanked her or something, but it was awkward, especially since her girlfriends had all surrounded her to basically pat her on the back.

The thing was, that wasn't Bella's first trip into being a badass, she had stood up for herself and even me in the past, but she never did it for selfish reasons like most people did. She didn't care about moving up the social ladder, but with those few comments, it seemed like that's exactly where she was heading. Even Caius and his ridiculous lackeys came up to rub elbows with Bella before that lunch period was over. She was uninterested in the entire thing, but she was always nice and talked to people whenever they initiated the conversation.

When school ended that day, I went out to the parking lot, and was shocked to see Bella already there, warding off her throng of admirers. But besides the small crowed, like a beacon from heaven….was my mother's Volvo.

My stomach actually did flips as I saw it there; the woman I unrequitedly loved, standing next to my first love…my car. I swear, if Carlie would have been there, I probably would have broken down and started bawling right there in front of everyone. The three most important _women_ in my life together would have been unbearable…yes, the car meant that much to me.

"Oh my god," I said breathlessly as I looked through the window, and then surveyed the exterior for any damages.

"The keys are sitting on the seat," Bella pointed out.

"Oh man," I said excitedly as I opened the front door and grabbed the keys….I may have even kissed them, but I was just too thrilled to care. In fact, I was so thrilled that I walked right over to Bella, and kissed her on her lips as well. She looked at me a little stunned when I finally released her, but her face didn't give away anything about how she was feeling.

"We should get to Carlie," she said quietly after an uncomfortable moment.

Bella agreed to drive my new Volvo minivan SUV thing home, so I could drive my mom's car. Her tempo was practically worthless compared to my cars anyway, and it wouldn't hurt to leave it there for awhile.

My car drove like a fucking dream…but it was out of gas with practically no oil, the tires were low, and the entire interior smelled like fucking pot; other than that, it was perfect. Now that I had my real car back however, I needed to come up with a plan to get Bella to take over driving my other Volvo. It was actually the perfect car for her, and I refused to give up on the subject. So I did the only thing I could think of…sabotage.

Yeah, Bella would be pissed if she found out, but I was willing to risk it.

**I need U to subtly kill Bella's Tempo – E** – I texted Garrett on my way home.

**Seriously? – G**

**Yep – E**

**Uh… ? – G**

**Just do it –E **I realized that it was pretty rude of me, so I added a –**Please**- afterwards.

**OK . Do U want a slow death, or an immediate kill? – G**

I thought about it for a moment, and realized it may be too obvious if the car suddenly stopped working, so I replied with **Slow** **- E**

**U got it – G**

Garrett worked at a garage off and on, so I had faith in his automobile hit-man capabilities. I knew he wouldn't mess with her breaks, or do anything dangerous that would cause her to crash; he would somehow make it so the car would just not restart one day. Bella would have to drive my car after that, she wouldn't have any other choice.

When we pulled up at the Cullen's house, Emmett and Rose came outside, and every thought of my car disappeared because Rose was holding my baby girl, and that's all I cared about at the moment. But as much as I wanted to hold her, I mostly wanted to see Bella holding her first, so I held back and waited.

"Whoa man, how the hell did you pull this off?" Emmett asked me as he looked over my car.

"I didn't do anything, it was all Bella," I said with a smile as I watched Bella cooing and kissing all over Carlie.

"Man, it smells like shit," he commented as he looked inside.

After Rose gave Carlie to Bella, she came over to check out the car as well.

"Wow, that idiot really screwed with this thing," Rose said while looking in the engine.

"Can you fix it up for him?" Emmett asked her.

"Yeah, she just needs a little TLC," Rose said while pulling out the dipstick. "Ok, maybe a lot of TLC."

I went over and kissed Carlie's head, but she was already sleeping in Bella's arms, so I thought it was best not to disturb her too much.

"It's cold out here, can I take her inside?" Bella asked me, which kind of pissed me off. She knew she never had to ask that kind of shit, but it almost felt like she did it to just further stress the fact that we weren't a couple and it wasn't her house. _Fucking bi_…. – but I let that thought trail off, because none of it mattered and I needed to stop calling Bella a bitch when I got mad at her….even if it was just in my mind.

Esme, Carlisle, and Alice all came home a little while later, and Bella stayed through dinner, but then she seemed anxious to leave. It was her turn with Carlie at night, so she packed up her stuff, and took her home with her in my Volvo minivan. I had insisted she take it; I told her that she could bring it back in the morning to drop Carlie off, and then catch a ride to school with me the next day. It didn't make sense to go back for her car right then; besides, my minivan thing already had the car seat set up and all that.

But being home without Carlie to take care of, was actually nerve racking. I had no idea what to do with my time, and I didn't even have much homework to busy myself with. I tried listening to music, but that didn't work, so I tried reading, but that sucked as well. In fact, it had been years since I was that fucking bored. Before the world changed, I would have gone out with my friends and gotten high during slow times…it was a coping mechanism so I wouldn't have the opportunity to think about my sister. But I couldn't do that shit anymore, I had to be responsible….so, of course, Bree began invading my mind.

But to my surprise, my thoughts of my sister weren't negative ones. I didn't think about the horrible night she was taken from me, I just thought about the times when she was happy, the games we used to play, and I was actually excited to try them with Carlie when she got older. Perhaps there was a reason for everything, perhaps I needed Carlie in my life to truly heal from losing my sister, and for the first time since I was twelve years old, I felt a sense of optimistic faith.

The week went off fairly well. Bella and I spent our breaks at school together with our group of friends, and then we'd hang out for awhile with Carlie after school before Bella took her home for the evening. By Wednesday, Bella's car wonderfully took a crap, and she grudgingly agreed to drive my spare. I simply told her it was Carlie's car, and we could switch back and forth between the two Volvos according to whoever had her. Bella was shocked that I'd allow her to drive my mother's car during my turns with Carlie, but I reminded her that she was always the _only_ one who I'd allow to do that.

It felt good sharing cars with Bella, and even though she stubbornly said she was going to save up money for a new car of her own, it did add another level to the 'family' thing I so desperately wanted with her. We definitely weren't romantically involved, but I could honestly say that we were on our way to becoming true friends and partners. Bella was the one person, _other than Carlie_, who I would doubtlessly have a lifetime relationship with. Even after Carlie was an adult with a family of her own, Bella and I would always be around each other, because through Carlie, we shared a family. Even if we hated each other, that was something that would never change, so it was just easier for everyone for us to just get along the best as possible.

But all that pleasant coexistence was during the first week back at school, and as the second slowly started rolling around, I had a sinking feeling that things would change. Like my first few nights with Carlie, taking the peace for granted was never a good idea, and it definitely felt like the calm before the storm.

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><p><strong>****Anyone else still confused as hell about Bella's behavior? More will be explained next….<strong>

**Please Review**


	5. Ch 19 The Storm

**Unintended – A Loss of Faith**

A/N: Yep, cheesy chapter titles 'The Calm' and 'The Storm' but hey *_shrugs_* that's what they are, so whatever

Every story of mine seems to have an explosive chapter that pisses people off or makes them love it even more, so I guess this is it for this version of the story….._and you thought you were safe reading this alternate version *tisk, tisk* you should know me better than that by now_. LOL!

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><p>~Chapter 19 – <em>The Storm<em>~

I was grateful when it was finally my turn with Carlie again, but it also made me wonder what Bella was doing with her free time. She didn't have a house full of people to distract her the way I did, so I could only imagine how lonely and all around bored she was. But it was her choice. I wanted her at the house with us, but she refused, so it wasn't like I could force her to be there.

I hired a nanny for Carlie since Emmett and Rose had to go back to school, and she would watch her every day at the Cullen's house until I got home from school, or Bella could pick her up. She was an older lady with five grown kids of her own, so I thought she was trustworthy enough.

But things that week seemed different. Bella was once again, distant. She hardly spoke at lunch and had a vacant look in her eyes. And the next day, she had to leave school early for a doctor's appointment, which I really didn't understand either. _Couldn't she have made her appointment for after school?_

Instead of a three day/four day split like we originally discussed, Bella and I decided to trade nights with Carlie every week. So for that entire week, she was with me and Bella hardly saw her. During those first two days, she only spent a couple hours each with Carlie, and on the third day, she didn't come by at all. She said she had to start her job right after school, and she wouldn't get off until late that evening, which really pissed me off. She was giving in to her stupid stubborn pride, rather than spending that time with Carlie, and I was absolutely livid about it. She didn't need to work, and she knew it.

When Thursday came and she only spent forty five minutes with Carlie before saying she had to leave again, I knew it was time to confront her about it.

"What the hell is going on, huh?" I asked her angrily as I followed her out to her car.

"What are you talking about?" she asked irritated.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. What's going on, why are you doing this? You should be here with Carlie, and you know it."

Bella closed her eyes and held them that way for a few long moments. "Edward, we've been through this," she said slowly. "I need a job, and I've set it up in a way that I can be home with Carlie when I have her, but when she's with you, I need to work."

"That's bullshit!" I shouted, but it just pissed off Bella and made her glare at me before getting into her car_, or my car rather_, without another word and leaving.

The rest of the week, including the weekend, went the same way. Bella, of course, said she had to work through the weekend in order to get the following week off, which at that point was just pathetic.

When Bella came to pick up Carlie that Sunday night, she was back to her more peppy persona, but by that time I had no idea what to expect when it came to her, so I just stopped trying to guess, that way I wasn't surprised or disappointed.

"Hey Angela, where's Bella?" I asked that Monday at lunch. The two of them had the class before lunch break together, so they usually walked there together.

"Oh…she wasn't in class today," Angela said strangely.

"She wasn't?" I asked confused. "She dropped Carlie off this morning with the nanny, so why wouldn't she be here?"

Angela shrugged. "I hardly see her anymore. She works so much that I don't even see her in passing at home very often."

_Ok, now I was really starting to worry. What the fuck was going on?_

But then she showed up at the Cullens right on time after school to pick up Carlie, so I decided then to try and broach the subject again.

"Hey….where were you at lunch today?" I asked her gently. I was trying to make my voice even and calm so that we didn't end up fighting.

"Oh…I had a meeting with the guidance counselor," she said casually.

"Angela said you weren't at class with her either."

"No, I decided to change my schedule around to fit in a CP class," she explained.

"Really?" I asked, actually happy about the change. "You're thinking about college now?"

"Well, I definitely want to have the option available. I just keep thinking about Carlie growing up, and I want to set a good example, you know?"

I nodded. "Definitely. Well, good, I'm really glad you decided to go that way."

Bella seemed anxious to get Carlie back to her place, but I hadn't seen her all day, and unlike her, I wasn't cool with that, so I asked if I could go with them. Bella seemed nervous about it, but she agreed to let me come.

"So…how's the job thing going?" I asked uncomfortably as I sat on the old couch in her little makeshift apartment. I had already been there for over an hour, and Carlie had drifted off, so I was trying to make casually chitchat with Bella…hoping for any amount of reconnection I could possibly get.

"It's monotonous and boring….not to mention the fact that Mike Newton is really annoying."

I nodded absently. "Do you need me to talk to him?"

"No Edward, I said he was annoying, not abusive," she said with a light giggle.

"Sorry," I said with a guilty smile. "But you know, if anyone bothers you, you should tell me right?" I asked her seriously.

"I can take care of myself, Edward. I always have."

"But you have me now," I said meaningfully.

She pressed her lips tightly. "I don't have anybody," she said quickly before getting up and getting something from the tiny kitchen. "Edward, I'm really tired so since Carlie is sleeping now, do you mind leaving? I could really use some rest too," she called from where she stood.

I took a deep breath. "Sure," I said reluctantly, and then kissed Carlie softly before leaving.

But when I got back to the Cullen's, I seriously wished I had stayed at Bella's. Vicky was standing outside the house…waiting for me…._fuck_.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked exasperated.

"I have a doctor's appointment on Friday at five o'clock, and I expect you to be there," she said dryly.

She was wearing a tight ass mini dress that showed off every inch of her disgusting curves, including the one on her abdomen. It seriously made me want to vomit.

"Look, Carlisle told you we would pay for your appointments and shit, but I'm not going anywhere with you."

"I don't have enough money to pay upfront, and they won't see me otherwise," she explained.

"Here's a thought, go to the free clinic down town," I told her.

"Why would I do that when my baby's father is loaded?...Edward, do you love Bella's baby?" she asked unexpectedly.

"I really don't see how that's any of your business."

"Would you love it any less if you hated Bella?" she asked then.

"But I don't hate Bella, so it's hard to say," I said scornfully.

"I don't have any money, and I don't know how much it will cost, so I need you to come with me," she insisted.

"Well, unfortunately for both of us, I don't have access to my money. So go on to the hospital, and tell Carlisle about it," I said dismissively as I started going into the house.

"Fine…but I'm having an ultrasound, and I really thought you'd want to see your baby."

"You're having an ultrasound this early?" I asked skeptically.

"Yep. I've had medical problems in the past, so the doctor thought it would be a good decision."

"Yeah…I don't really care to see your kid in that way," I said harshly, and then continued into the house.

But, as much as I was trying to not let it get to me, Vicky's comment kept replaying in my mind all evening. _'Would you love it any less if you hated Bella?' _– and of course, the answer was no. I loved my daughter, and who her mother was only added to it. So, if I believed there was even a chance that Vicky's baby was mine, then I would step up and try to take care of it as well….except, there was a chance that it was mine. I didn't believe it, but there was a one percent chance, and for that reason only, I decided that I didn't have a choice but to go to Vicky's fucking appointment.

School didn't get much better for the rest of that week; Bella said she would be working on an economics project every day during lunch, so I hardly saw her, which was actually torture for me. I tried to let go of those feelings of needing to be with her, but they only seemed to get stronger with the more distance between us. The only time we saw each other was when Bella would come over to pick up Carlie, though she stopped coming right after school as well; she waited a few hours in order to give me some time with her, resulting in Bella and I spending even less time together. Needless to say, it was a long week.

I had been dreading Friday since the moment I agreed to go with Vicky, and when it finally came, I felt like I was going to be sick. I rushed home to kiss Carlie before Bella arrived to pick her up for the night, but after they were gone, I realized just how shitty the entire thing was. I knew it was wrong and it sucked before, but it didn't fully hit me until that moment. My soon to be ex wife was taking my baby daughter for the night, and I was going with some disgusting bitch to her prenatal appointment. It was all disturbing, and I felt like one of those sick players on the Jerry Springer Show.

I grudgingly picked Vicky up, and was sickened even more to see her sitting next to me in the passenger seat of my mother's car. All I could think about as I drove that bitch to the hospital, was how disappointed my mom would have been in me. She knew Bella from church, and even though she would have been upset about the teen pregnancy thing, she would have accepted it and loved Bella just as Esme did. But Vicky was a different story. Vicky would have made any mother disappointed in her son for screwing around with. Regardless of what did or didn't happen the night that Vicky got pregnant, I still did mess with her my freshman year, and that was my stupid choice. The fact that I had wised up since then was a moot point.

"Edward, I'm glad you came," Carlisle said as he met us in the waiting room. He wasn't Vicky's doctor, but he was working that day and came by to pay for the appointment.

"Well, on the .0001 percent chance this is my kid, I need to be responsible," I told him. I had moved it from a one percent chance, to a .0001 because the more time I spent with the fire-headed wench, the more I doubted her story. I just couldn't imagine it, not even while drugged. She was disgusting before, and even more disgusting now.

"We'll talk more when I get home tonight," Carlisle said before heading for the elevator to return to his rounds.

The ultrasound thing was familiar, but it was completely different than when I went with Bella. Vicky was a lot earlier in her pregnancy, so the image on the monitor just looked like a blob. But I could see the flashing of the heartbeat, and as much as I didn't want to admit it, I did feel something. It wasn't love the way a father would feel looking at his child for the first time, but it was definite compassion. That little person had one fucked up life ahead of it, and all I could think of was Carlie. No little baby should have to put up with a mother like Vicky, and if that kid did turn out to be mine, I was definitely going to push for full custody. My only real concern was how Bella would handle that fact if it were to ever happen.

"Oooo…I just can't wait. I have all the nursery stuff picked out already," Vicky said excitedly as we walked towards the parking lot."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't even know what the baby's sex is yet," I said irritated.

"Of course I do. It's going to be a boy. Mothers just know that kind of thing….and his name is going to be Edward Jr."

I clinched my jaw bitterly. "No kid will ever be named that," I said through gritted teeth. The fact that Vicky had said that, _which was what Bella had said, which was the reason why I ran off on her resulting in those two missing days, further resulting in this entire mess_, seriously made me boil up inside. I really wanted to lash out and punch something.

"I get to sign the birth certificate, so I'll name him anything I want," Vicky said arrogantly.

"First of all, MY name is Edward Jr., so if I did decided to name a kid after me, it would be the third. And more importantly, it'll never happen because my father was a murderous bastard and I would never allow a kid to be named after him!"

"You know, you really need to get over that crap. It happened a long time ago and it's time to move on with your life," she said heartlessly while flipping her ugly hair over her shoulder. "Oh, look who's here!" she squealed.

I was about to lose it and explode on her, but then I turned around and saw Bella there holding the baby carrier. FUCK!

"What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Carlie?" I asked in a panic as I ran over to her and moved the cover of the carrier so I could see my baby. She was sleeping beautifully, so I looked up at Bella confused.

"No, I had an appointment," she said emotionlessly.

"Why didn't you call me? I could have watched her," I said feeling relieved. The thought did occur to me that it was odd that Bella seemed to be having a lot of appointments lately, but at that exact moment, it seemed inconsequential and I would have to ask her more about it later.

"Oh my god, she is so precious!" Vicky said with phony excitement. "I bet my baby is going to look just like her…well, mine will be cuter because _he_ won't have those abnormally big brown eyes. Our baby is going to have Edward's perfect green eyes, just wait and see. It's too bad you didn't have a boy Bella, maybe you could have had a little 'Edward the Third'...but I am glad that name is still available for _our _son, I can't imagine naming him anything different." Vicky wove her arm through mine, and smiled at Bella.

_God help me so I don't kill the bitch_. I had been so afraid of snapping and hurting Bella and Carlie in the future like my father had done, but as horrible as it sounded, I really would have been ok with doing it to Vicky right then.

I yanked my arm away, and glared at her. "Don't ever touch me again," I said with a menacing tone.

"Whatever, can we go now? I'm starved so you need to buy me dinner before taking me home," Vicky said unaffected by my hostility.

"Bella is everything ok?" I asked her, even though I was positive that it wasn't. I needed to be focused on Bella right then because I knew she was upset, but more than that, I couldn't get the desire to snap Vicky's neck out of my mind, and it was starting to scare me a bit.

"Everything's fine," Bella said absently, before walking towards the parking lot.

"Wait, here, let me carry her," I said while trying to take the heavy carrier out of Bella's hands…but she wouldn't let go.

"I've got it!" she yelled, then hurried out of the building.

I understood her anger and I didn't blame her for raising her voice at me, but I just didn't know how to make it better. Until I got the paternity test done, there wasn't anything I could do about Vicky.

Bella drove Carlie to my house over the weekend, saying she had to work again, but I was confused… "I thought you said you weren't going to work on the days you have Carlie?" I asked . That weekend was still her time, so I was baffled by the change of schedule.

"I can't help it, three people called in sick and if I want to keep my job, I have to fill in. Besides, it's time and a half so I get paid more."

She kissed Carlie and then took off without saying anything else to me. I wanted to talk to her about the Vicky thing, but she just didn't give me the chance, which seemed to be happening a lot lately. Either she was purposely trying to avoid me, or she was seriously way over her head busy, both of which needed to be fixed. When she came back to pick Carlie up that evening, I tried to talk to her yet again.

"Bella, I know seeing Vicky like that must have been…"

"It's fine Edward," she interrupted me. "It's not like it's anything I didn't already know," she said while trying to leave.

"But it's not like I believe her now, I just felt like I needed to go so…"

"Edward, please, just stop. That's not my business and you don't have to explain anything. If that is your baby, then she's going to be just as much a part of your life as Carlie and me. We both need to just accept that," she said before going to the Volvo minivan, putting Carlie inside, and driving away.

Fuck.

I supposed that even with the divorce, I still hoped that one day Bella and I would get back together, but at that moment, it became painfully clear that would never happen. I lost her for good this time, and it hurt like hell. Since Carlie was born, I hadn't had such a strong urge to get wasted as I did right then. It was a similar feeling to someone dying, but it wasn't a person that had died, it was hope. I would never have a real family with Bella the way I needed to. We would always be nothing more than this; frozen, and never moving past it. We were stuck in the shadows of what we once were, and of what happened to get us to where we currently are; they were looming over our every move, and we would never fully recover.

But just when I thought things couldn't possibly get worse, the storm week hit….

When Monday came again, I wasn't sure what to expect as far as Bella was concerned. I figured she would be distant and ignore me, but what did happened I wasn't prepared for.

"Hey…I thought Bella was done with her project now?" I asked Angela. I knew Bella was no longer in her class, but I still assumed they would be together.

"I haven't seen her," Angela said apologetically.

"Oh…she's over there," Charlotte said while pointing to the opposite side of the cafeteria.

I looked into the direction that Charlotte had pointed in, and saw Bella there, sitting with some of the most annoying girls in school. It wasn't like her, and those girls were definitely not the kind of people Bella should be hanging out with, so I got up and went over there to question her.

"What s going on?" I asked her quietly. I felt like I had been asking her that same question repeatedly over the past couple weeks, and that really freaked the hell out of me.

"What does it look like? I'm having lunch," she said evenly.

"Yeah, why are you doing it here?"

"Because Jessica and Laura asked me to have lunch with them, and I said yes."

"Bella, I get that you were upset about seeing me with Vicky, but this strange behavior has been happening a lot longer than that. Whatever is going on, just tell me so I can fix it."

"Nothing is _going on_…everything is perfect," she said like a smartass.

"Bella, you are hiding something, and you need to tell me what it is _right now_!" I said sternly.

"What the fuck Masen, are you _my_ dad now?" she asked annoyed, and her two new BFFs laughed.

"No, I'm your _daughter's_ father," I said coldly. "And technically, your husband, so answer me!"

"You need to just relax and stop trying to control my life!" she said strongly. "What I do on my own free time is none of your business….Come on," she told her newfound lackeys, before leaving the cafeteria with them trailing behind her.

What the fuck just happened?

It was my week with Carlie again, so I was expecting Bella to swing by after school and at least see her before going to work, but she never showed. I didn't see her at all the next day, not at school, and not after; she never even called to see how Carlie was doing. So, by the third day, I started getting really worried. She had never been that long without seeing our daughter before, so I decided to leave Carlie with Esme, and go by Bella's work to make sure she was ok.

"Hey…what can I get for you?" Mike Newton said sourly when I walked into the store.

"I'm here to see Bella," I said, not caring about his pathetic resentment towards me.

"Well, she's not here," he said unexpectedly.

"Where the hell is she?" I asked with a mix of anger and panic.

He shrugged. "I haven't seen her all week."

"What the fuck do you mean? She works here!" I shouted.

"She's called in sick every day. I don't know where she's been…I thought you two were married?"

"We are," I said quickly. The divorce was finalized yet, so I wasn't technically lying.

"Well, then why the hell don't _you _know where she is?" he said arrogantly.

"Fuck you," I said, before storming out of the store.

I called Angela and she was almost as concerned as I was, so while I was on the phone with her, she ran out to Bella's apartment to see if she was there….and she wasn't.

"Edward…this place is a mess," she said while going through the apartment.

"Are you kidding? Bella's a neat freak," I said incredulously.

"Well, apparently not anymore. Edward, I'm really worried about her, this isn't like her. I've known her since preschool, and she's never been like this before."

"Thanks Angela…if you find out anything, please call me," I said before hanging up the phone.

I was absolutely terrified. It was getting late and I had no idea where Bella was, but I knew something was extremely wrong. I even drove by her dad's house and the church hoping to find her, but no one had seen her anywhere.

My head was pounding, my stomach was twisted in knots, and my heart was beating out of my chest as a déjà vu completely consumed me. I felt like I was back in my childhood room, just waking up from being knocked out by my father, and having no idea where my sister was. As I drove around town aimlessly, I had flashes of when I ran throughout my house, hopelessly searching for Bree... Something happened to Bella, and I knew I'd never survive through losing her in that way.

And then I got a phone call…it was Garrett.

"Hey, man….Listen, Peter just called me….he's at a house party with Charlotte in Port Angeles, and he said Bella is there."

"What?" I asked flabbergasted.

"Yeah…he said she's pretty wasted."

"Wasted? Bella? _My Bella_?" I asked in disbelief. I was grateful she was alive and unhurt, but then a whole new wave of fear washed over me…what the hell was wrong with her?"

"Give me the address," I said in a rush.

I sped as fast as my Volvo minivan would go, and got Port Angeles in record time. The party location was packed full of cars, but none were my mother's Volvo, which Bella had been driving since I had Carlie that week. So I actually thought that perhaps Peter had been wrong, and Bella wasn't there after all. I got a little paranoid that I was being set up again somehow, but I trusted Garrett, and Peter for that matter, so I hesitantly went onto the party.

"Hey man," Peter said after he saw me. "Sorry, I didn't want to be a little bitch and tattle on her, or anything, but…I just thought you'd want to know."

"No, I'm glad you called. Where is she?" I asked as I looked through the crowd.

"Uh…last I saw her she was that way. I've been trying to keep tabs on her for you, but she's pretty much all over the place."

"It's fine, thanks," I said as I set off in the direction Peter had pointed.

And then I saw her. She was laughing hysterically with that Jessica chick, and definitely looked wasted as she carelessly spilled her drink all over the place.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I yelled at her over the music. _Yep, same question, just a different level of worry behind it._

She turned to me and looked surprised that I was there, but she refused to let me dampen her mood. "Oh Edward, you're here, do you want a drink?" she asked while accidently spilling the remainder of her drink all over my pants. Both her and her friends got a new round of the giggles as they noticed the way her spill made it look like I pissed myself. "Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe you should get a drink, and after awhile, you won't care anymore," she said while continuing to laugh.

Ok, I had enough of her shit and I was done allowing it to continue, it was time to be in action. I grabbed her arm, and began pulling her towards the exit.

"What the fuck are you doing? Let me go!" she yelled.

"No. I refuse to let you do this shit to yourself," I said without stopping.

"What I do is none of your fucking business!" she shouted as she tried to pull herself free from my grasp.

"Yes it is! You're my _wife_," I told her while stopping and looking intensely in her eyes.

"Not for much longer," she said spitefully.

I just shook my head at her, then continued to pull at her arm, but she stunned my by bending over, and biting my hand.

"What the fuck, Bella!" I said as I quickly let go of her.

"I told you to leave me the hell alone," she said as she ran back into the crowd. But I couldn't leave her, not like that. I followed her as she ran up the stairs, and then opened two doors before going inside the third and slamming the door behind her.

It was locked…but I wasn't going to let that stop me. I pulled out my wallet and took out my license, before picking the lock with it. That kind of lock was simple to get into, all it took was a card.

When I went inside, Bella looked like she was lighting a cigarette, but I quickly realized it was a joint.

I was fucking speechless.

"Don't fucking look at me like that!" she spat. "Who the fuck are _you_ to judge _me_?"

"We have a daughter…and you're here doing this shit?" I asked breathlessly. I was sickened, and I felt desperately lost. Did I do that to her? Did I achieve the goal I had originally set out to accomplish the year before? Did I ruin Bella Swan? The guilt was consuming me as I felt completely defeated.

Bella looked away when I mentioned our daughter, and when she looked back, she had tears in her eyes but she refused to let them escape.

"I would never do this shit around her!" she said firmly.

"No…you're just doing this shit _instead_ of being around her!" I rebutted. "You haven't even been by to see her. I've been worried sick, and you've been doing this shit all along. What happened to the importance of your fucking job?"

"You don't know anything," she said with quiet bitterness.

"No, I don't, because you won't talk to me. Bella, how…_why_ did you start doing all this?"

"All of what, exactly? So I'm at a party with my friends; so I had some drinks and smoked a joint. There's no crime in that!" she said getting pissed again.

"Actually, technically, there is. On top of it being wrong, it's illegal Bella. What the fuck are you going to do when the cops show up, and you end up in jail from this shit? What then? What about Carlie?"

"You know, you're such a hypocrite. I'm not doing anything you haven't done a million times in the past…oh wait, I am, because you've never been to one of these things without fucking a few chicks, right? I might be wasted, but I'm not a whore like you," she said before losing her balance and stumbling a bit.

"You're right, I did that shit, but then I fucking GREW UP!" I yelled. "This is ridiculous Bella, and I'm going to take you home before you ruin your life."

I grabbed her arm again, but she kicked my shin and tried to fight her way free. "I'm not going anywhere."

But her kick did nothing but piss me off even more, so I pulled her into me and wrapped my arms around her to restrain her more securely as she flailed around. I lifted her up and tried to carry her out, but she fought even harder to break free. In fact, she was fighting so hard that I was worried about her hurting herself, so I let go. I then settled for standing in front of the door so she couldn't escape, but she was fine with that, she just didn't want me holding her.

"I'm not leaving here," she insisted a little quieter.

"Well, then neither am I," I said as I leaned against the door.

"Why don't you do us both a favor, and go find Vicky, I'm sure she'd love to wrestle with you."

I nodded. "Is that really what this is about Bella? I get that you were upset about that, but this started before, didn't it? Tell me what's wrong. Tell me how to make this better for you, and I will."

She laughed humorlessly. "You can't make it better. This is as good as it will ever be."

"That's not true. Bella, please, tell me what to do, and I'll do it. You want Vicky out of the picture, then I'll pay her to disappear. I'll do whatever it takes to make this better for you," I said desperately. At that moment, I didn't care that Vicky could possibly be carrying my kid, nothing else mattered to me other than the lost girl standing in front of me.

She stared at me for a long moment, but then a drunken smile crept across her face. "You want to do something for me?" she asked as she walked closer to me.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"Oh come on Edward, you know _what_. I think that maybe I was wrong before about the disgust in fucking at these things. I bet it would actually feel really good in the state I'm in."

She automatically started unbuttoning my pants, but I pushed her away.

"I'm not fucking you!" I said severely.

"Fine, then move out of the way so I can go find someone else….You know, I've never actually been with anyone else, so this should be interesting. I wonder if Mike's still here."

She was pushing all my buttons, and she knew it; there was no way in hell I was going to let her out of that room.

"Stop this shit right now!" I warned her.

"Or else, what? What the fuck are you going to do about it?" she challenged.

I closed my eyes, and tried to swallow down my anger, but I couldn't. It felt like knives jabbing every inch of my body, and I needed to find a way to release it, otherwise I was seriously going to do something I regretted.

She was drunk, and extremely fucked up…she wouldn't really say that shit or act that way normally. I had to just keep telling myself that, because I was about two seconds away from unloading douche Edward back on to her.

"Come on Edward. Don't you want to fuck me? Because either way, with or without you, it's happening," she said before trying to open the door again...but then it happened, I fucking snapped.

I grabbed her wrist, and turned her around before shoving her back into the wall and locking her in place. I didn't have that kind of self-control, I wasn't sane enough to actually stop it, but on top of that, I was a seventeen year old hormone driven guy, who hadn't had sex in who knew how long, so yeah…

My lips crashed down on hers, and she kissed me back with a level of fierceness that I had never felt from her before. It was aggressive and full of intense anger, but neither of us pulled away or backed down.

She was drunk and out of control, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I should stop. She didn't want it, not really, not like that…and neither did I, but for the life of me, I couldn't stop. We were both out of our right mind, and that was never a good thing.

I started pounding into her right against that wall, and I couldn't even remember undoing my pants or lifting her so her legs were wrapped around my waist. She was wearing some slutty looking skirt that one of her new bitch friends probably gave her, so she was still fully clothed, and as I thrust uncontrollably in and out of her, I had no idea if she even had panties on or not. It didn't feel like it, but I could have just pushed them aside and not even realized it.

With every passing thrust, I went harder and deeper inside of her. We scratched, squeezed, and bit each other's skin violently, and even pulled the other's hair until we were both just barely hanging on…and then we lost it. But with that intense eruption, came sanity.

What the fuck was wrong with her…well, with both of us?

I wasn't the only one who sort of woke up and realized what had just happened after that; she looked at me completely stunned as well.

We both somehow ended up sinking to the ground, and just sitting there with our backs to the wall and our heads resting against each other, temple to temple. There were no words, we weren't capable of them right then.

I had kept myself so busy since Carlie was born, that I had conveniently buried all my anger and rage deep inside, but I should have known that it wasn't gone completely; Bella had issues of her own which had gone untreated for so long, and we both ended up seriously fucked up.

I always knew Bella had problems, she had a mother that abandoned her, and a father that cared more about his job than her…and then I came into her life cruelly and screwed with the balancing act she had been doing her entire life, and then I betrayed her. I bet it was easier before she trusted me, she knew who I was when we married, but I slowly broke through her defensive barriers…we broke through each other's, and we both fell because of it.

I wasn't admitting the Vicky thing, because I will continue to deny anything happened those two days until a DNA test proved otherwise, but it didn't matter. I left her then, I lost control, and I lost control now by fucking her when I knew I shouldn't have. I snapped, much like my father had, but thankfully, no one ended up dead from my loss of control.

I had no idea how long the silence between us went on for, but she was the one who broke it.

"Edward," she whispered, but it seemed loud somehow. The music from the party was still blasting from the floor below us, but I couldn't hear it. I couldn't hear anything other than the sound of her voice, and it was the most significant sound in my world at that second. "I don't know what I'm doing here," she said brokenly.

"I know," I told her truthfully. I knew she had no idea what she was doing, and that was the problem.

"Can you just…take me home now?" she mumbled.

"Yeah," I said, and then stood while pulling her up with me. I picked her up bridal style, and she buried her face in my chest. Neither of us cared that everyone in that fucking party were staring at us as I carried her down the stairs and out of the house, nothing mattered other than getting her home.

And by home, I meant _our_ home.

Bella fell asleep on the drive back to Forks, and I took that opportunity to call Carlisle and ask him to meet us there. He was at work and I didn't tell him what was wrong, but he agreed because it was obvious by the tone of my voice that I was desperate.

When I got to the house, Bella didn't move, so I went around and lifted her back into my arms before carrying her into the house and right up the stairs to our room to lay her on the bed.

Even though I didn't see her, Esme must have seen me because she appeared behind me and automatically started looking over Bella.

"Is she sick?" Esme asked concerned.

"Yes," I said truthfully. We both were, and we needed help. Carlisle showed up a few minutes later and immediately started looking over Bella as well; mainly to make sure she didn't have alcohol poisoning or anything like that.

"We just need to keep an eye on her," Carlisle said quietly while gently leading me out of the room, and shutting the door behind him."What happened?" he asked me full of concern.

Unable to fully process everything or even speak at that moment, I just shook my head. Was I in fucking shock?

Carlisle nodded in understanding…what he understood however, I had no idea, because I didn't understand it myself.

"Why don't you get some rest. Emmett's room is open," Carlisle suggested.

I opened my mouth to protest, knowing Carlie was there, but Esme jumped in. "Let me take baby duties tonight, and in the morning we can all discuss this," she insisted.

"I'll keep an eye on Bella, just try to relax," Carlisle added.

I nodded thankfully, and then went to crash in Emmett's room hoping the storm would finally pass in the night…and surprisingly, I actually fell asleep…

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><p><strong>***So, any thoughts? <strong>

**Answers, coming next!**

**Please Review**


	6. Ch 20 Understanding

**Unintended – A Loss of Faith**

A/N: So, yeah, quite a change from the original version, right? But, think about it, Edward ran away and buried his emotions for a decade before being forced back into his life by a ten year old little girl. In this one, he had to step up and be responsible from the beginning and because of that, Bella was left alone for long periods of time…granted she 'chose' that, but remember that she's just a lonely, emotionally scarred, heartbroken, depressed, teenager. More will be explained about her coming up.

_*** In this chapter, Edward learns the truth about his father, but I don't want to waste time by going all into detail on it again, so if you haven't read the original 'Unintended' and you're confused about it, then refer to the other version just for this part. Chapter 24(Six Weeks). The chapter is obviously broken into weeks, so you can skip ahead to the first part of week 5. Carlisle goes into detail about what happened, and you can ignore everything else before and after because nothing else pertains to this version. BUT it's not a major issue, so if you don't want to read it, then that's fine too. _

_Thanks for understanding!_

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><p>~Chapter 20 – <em>Understanding<em>~

After that horrible evening, it was unsurprising that I had nightmares all night. Usually when I dreamed about my mother and sister it was graphic and terrifying, but this time, it was just confusing images and unintelligible chatter. I guess it just further proved that I had no idea what the hell had just happened in my real life either.

With feeling even more exhausted than I did before I slept, I awoke to the sun blaring in my face and it actually took several minutes for me to realize where I was.

"Oh…Emmett's room," I finally remembered, and then I was briefly disgusted by the thought of lying in his bed where he probably fucked Rose just a few days before. But Esme was a clean freak, so I was sure she would have changed the sheets since then…at least I hoped she would have.

But then I pushed that meaningless thought out of my head, and hurried to get dressed and check on my girls.

"Everything is fine," Esme said calmly as I rushed past her in the hall.

"Carlie?" I asked.

"Perfect like always," she responded quickly.

"Bella?" I asked with a little more concern.

"She's fine…although, I'm sure she's going to have one hell of a migraine when she wakes up."

"But, she will wake up…right?"

"Of course. Carlisle is waiting to speak to you in his office," she told me then. "Carlie is sleeping in her travel crib in my room if you want to kiss her before heading in there."

"But Bella…"

"I'll tell you when she wakes up," Esme assured me.

"Thanks Esme…for everything," I said sincerely. I felt like I had been needing to thank both her and Carlisle so much recently, that I had seriously become dependent. How the hell was I ever going to handle all of life's shit without them?

I followed her advice and kissed Carlie before heading into Carlisle's office, where I shut the door behind me.

"Take a seat," Carlisle instructed, so I did. "How long have you been having the nightmares?" he asked me unexpectedly.

"Nightmares?" I asked confused. I thought he was going to question me about Bella, not about fucking bad dreams.

"Since I was up quite a bit last night, I heard you….You talk in your sleep, and you were talking to your father."

"Seriously?" I asked shocked. I didn't remember that whatsoever.

"Well, you were more like _yelling_ actually….Edward, why didn't you ever tell me about your fears of becoming like him?"

I scratched my head and seriously wondered what the hell I said in my sleep to make him know that shit, but I suppose there was no point in denying it anymore. I didn't kill Bella the night before, but I definitely let my rage get the better of me and I lost control…and I couldn't allow that to happen again.

"My dad was like this…perfect, outstanding citizen, and if he snapped, then what kind of chance do I have?" I never truly believed my father was perfect, but I supposed that was just a natural adolescent rebellion thing, because everyone else who knew him insisted that he was one of the best. It made me want to punch something.

"Edward, your dad was in no way _perfect_," Carlisle said while going to his bookshelf and pulling out that faux book I had found several months earlier.

"Wait…this was _his_ stuff?" I asked shocked.

"Edward, if you thought it was mine, then why didn't you ever ask me about it…or hell, throw it in my face in a fit of anger because I forced you into the marriage in the first place?"

"Because…I've seen what cheating can do, and…I didn't want to do that to Esme," I said honestly.

"Despite what you think Edward, your mother never cheated, it was the other way around," Carlisle told me.

I always had thought that my father killed my mother because she cheated on him and planned to leave with her lover, but learning the truth just made me angry…but it also made me calm in a way that I never really knew possible before. My father wasn't a good man, he was arrogant and selfish and he killed because he thought it was his right to. He didn't just snap one day, and learning that fact seriously gave me hope for myself and my future family. I had a choice, and that was a freeing realization.

"So…what is your plan for moving forward with Bella?" Carlisle asked me after I told him everything that happened, and what I knew…which wasn't much.

The thing that never ceased to amaze me was Carlisle's unyielding ability to forgive and look past things to see the bigger picture. He never judged me when I told him about my loss of control, and he didn't judge Bella when I told him about the party and the things she was doing. I felt a little like I was betraying her trust in a way by disclosing all of that to him, but I just felt it was something that was necessary. Besides, Carlisle had that whole doctor confidentiality thing, and if there was anyone I could talk to, it was him.

"I don't know what to do…but I can't exactly trust her alone with Carlie right now," I said feeling hopeless about the situation.

"I think you need to have a thorough discussion with her. No holds barred. Let no stone be left unturned. Discuss the Vicky thing, and everything else," Carlisle suggested.

I nodded. "I think you're right," I mumbled. "I just hope she's open to it."

"I think she is _now_. She's hit the bottom, and if I know Bella the way I think I do, that's much further down than she ever planned on being. Just try her, see how she responds."

"Yeah…that definitely needs to happen," I agreed.

"Edward…are _you_ ok?" he asked me intensely.

I took a deep breath. "I think I will be," I said honestly. "As long as I find a way to help her…then it'll help me."

"Anything you need son, just let me know."

"Thank you," I said heavily before leaving his office.

"Bella just woke up, and she jumped right in the shower," Esme whispered as I walked into her bedroom to check on Carlie again. I kissed my baby on the head, and decided to let Esme finish feeding her so I could go talk to Bella.

"Oh Edward!" Esme called after me while holding out her hand.

_Uh…did she want me to kiss it, or something?_

She laughed at my bewildered expression, and then explained. "It's Tylenol…for her migraine. I got it from my medicine cabinet before I started feeding Carlie."

"Oh, thanks," I said feeling like an idiot before taking the pills from her.

I knocked lightly on the door, but when she didn't answer, I decided to go in anyway.

"Bella?" I said softly.

The door to the bathroom was still shut, so I sat on the bed and waited for her to finish. When Bella finally came out, I was surprised and a little pleased that she had helped herself to my closet and was wearing a pair of my old sweats.

"Hey…how are you feeling?" I asked gently.

Her exhausted features and much thinner frame, made her literally look like she had been to hell and back. I hadn't even really noticed her weight loss before, but then again, it was winter and everyone wore heavy bulky clothes that time of year.

She took a deep breath, and then came to sit next to me on the bed.

"Here," I said while handing her the Tylenol.

"What is it?" she asked warily.

I smiled. "Tylenol…for your head."

"Oh…thanks," she said as she reluctantly took them from me. She went back to the bathroom to get a drink of water, and then came back to sit by me again. It was obvious she was in pain…both physically and emotionally, but we both knew it was time to get everything out in the open.

"I don't even know what to say," she said quietly.

"Can you just tell me…what happened?" I asked. I had been asking her that so much lately, but I knew this was different now. I knew she was finally ready to tell me.

"I don't really know," she said with tears pooling in her eyes. "I can't….even think anymore. I just…hate being alone. I always thought I could handle it….I always thought everything was fine, but it wasn't…It never has been. I thought I could live for her, but when she wasn't there….I just didn't know what to do with myself. So I got a job…I needed to feel like I was contributing for Carlie financially, but I also relied on that job to keep me busy so I only had to be alone to sleep."

"But you haven't been to work in over a week. If it was so important to you, then why'd you stop going?" I asked, just trying to understand everything that happened.

"I _was_ going, but then I had problems with the medication, and I was so tired all the time…"

"Whoa, back up; what medication?" I interrupted her.

She looked embarrassed that she let that slip, and if we weren't having this full disclosure session, then she probably would have ended up backtracking to avoid the issue; but she knew how important this was for us, so she bit her lip anxiously before explaining. "The doctor said I was depressed…but nothing helped. Whatever he put me on just made me feel…dead. So he tried changing the dosage, but…" she shook her head. "I got angry at the entire thing, and I thought it was all pointless, so I just stopped taking it…but then everything just got more messed up from there."

"Why didn't you tell me that was going on?" I asked her.

"Edward, we were divorcing, and…I couldn't allow myself to lean on you and your family anymore. You've had enough stuff to deal with between getting back into school, and the Vicky thing…I just didn't want to add to it."

"Bella, _you_ and Carlie are my family. Regardless of our romantic status, I will never stop thinking of you that way," I tried assuring her. "We have to be honest with each other, and learn how to count on one other a bit if we're even going to have a chance at raising Carlie together healthily."

"I guess I just don't know how to… _allow _someone else in like that. I've always been alone and only had myself to fix whatever problems that came up," she explained.

"But, you're not anymore. Bella, I know that you can't trust me because of all the shit I've pulled in the past, but I swear to you, I am different now. I know that sounds stupid and cliché, but it's true. There isn't a minute that goes by when I don't think about you and Carlie, and I will never do anything again to purposely hurt you."

"Edward, that's the thing, I do trust you. You're an amazing father, and you have become so responsible and loving with her. You've turned your life completely around, and I am so proud of you and in awe of you every day."

"But, it's still not enough for us to really be together," I quietly concluded. "We'll never get past this Vicky thing, will we?"

Obviously, the Vicky situation was not the cause of Bella's emotional depression because it had been building inside of her since childhood, and with the added hormone imbalance from giving birth, it all just exploded and she lost control; which was definitely a feeling I could identify with. But Vicky added to it, and she was a major reason why Bella wanted the divorce in the first place, thus leaving her alone for long periods of time. If there wasn't a possibility of Vicky being pregnant with my kid, then Bella and I would still be together, and I would have recognized her depression and made sure she was taken care of.

"I know that you have no idea what happened with Vicky…but….that doesn't change it. It doesn't hurt any less because it wasn't your idea; in fact, it almost hurts more. It would have been easier if I thought you didn't really care, because then I could try harder to not care as well. And I know that's wrong and unfair, and I really tried to think around it, but I just _can't_… At least not when I'm like this. I can't think around _anything _like this," she said hopelessly. "Sometimes I just find myself so lost, and I have no idea how I ended up as a mother in the first place. I didn't have a mom, so how the hell am I supposed to know what to do?"

"What did the doctor say?" I asked, wanting to get back to the topic about her hormone imbalance. Bella was a strong girl, and if she didn't have a physical reason behind those feelings, I knew she could have handled them more appropriately.

"I was overwhelmed and scared of doing something wrong with Carlie, and then I started having all these…stupid thoughts that didn't even make sense, so I told my doctor and he said I was depressed and he prescribed me some medicine. He said it would make me feel better…but it didn't. I was tired and lethargic all the time, so I told the doctor and he changed the medicine, but it just made everything worse again. So I just stopped taking them. I was convinced that I would be fine if I just…gave it time, but….every inch of my body hurt and I couldn't think straight anymore."

"So…how did that turn into partying?" I asked gently.

"I was sick at work, and since Jessica works there too, she saw my behavior and she offered me something."

"What?" I asked concerned.

"I don't even know," she said frustrated. "I didn't care; she said it would make me focus and give me energy, and I was desperate so I took it. I knew it was wrong when I was doing it, but I just didn't care…I couldn't seem to care about hardly anything. I seriously thought that if I could get control of myself before I had Carlie with me again, then everything would be fine. But…I kept taking Jessica's stupid pills and even though I didn't know what they were, they worked. But then Jess said she didn't have any more, and I became…desperate again. I couldn't function without them…I even begged her at one point, bust she said there was something else that would help."

"Pot," I assumed.

"She didn't tell me that until we got to the party. They kept handing me drinks, and I was so pathetically desperate for the pain to go away, that I gave in. I can't believe I did that….I can't believe I did any of it. Edward, I am _so_ sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. But I swear, that was the first and last party I'll ever go to. I can't even remember most of it …Did we have sex?" she asked confused.

I locked my jaw, and nodded bitterly. I wasn't angry at her about it, that was my weakness and I was pissed at myself because of it. "Sorry," I mumbled.

She shook her head. "Don't be sorry. I can't even imagine the crap that came out of my mouth. I only remember flashes and none of it was good….Edward, I just don't know how to get over all of it. It hurts to be around you, and it hurts to be away from you; nothing makes sense anymore. But…" she paused and bit her lip. "Thank you for taking care of her….and for taking care of me last night too. I'm terrified to think what would have happened if you didn't come for me."

"Bella, I'll always come for you. I love you more than anything, and that's never going to change…but, we need to fix this. We both have problems and things we need to deal with."

She nodded. "I just don't know how," she said as her tears spilled over on her cheeks.

"Well…I'm sorry, but until we get this depression and medication thing under control, I don't think you should be alone with Carlie," I said hesitantly. I didn't want her to think I was taking Carlie from her, but I just couldn't allow anyone to put that baby into any kind of danger, even from her mother.

She stared at me for a moment and a wave of pain washed over her features, but she nodded.

"But…I don't want _you_ to be alone anymore either…not at all, not even at night," I continued. "I think it would be best for you and Carlie…if you moved back in _here_. Carlisle and Esme will be here, and they can help you the way they did with me. I would have never made it through with Carlie without them. You need that too. Bella, we're just kids; kids raising a kid, and we're not going to be perfect, but it's a whole hell of a lot less nerve-racking when you know there's experienced parents in the next room over who can back you up if and _when_ you need it."

"Edward, I'll do anything to fix myself, but I can't…"

"I'm going to move out," I told her quickly. She opened her mouth to protest, but I stopped her. "Only temporarily; just until we can get your medication and stuff under control. Carlisle is a doctor, Esme is a nurse, you need to be here with them while this happens, and you need to do it without worrying about me here…at least at night."

"Edward, there is no way I'm going to kick you out of your home," she said brokenly.

"Bella we both need to fix things about ourselves, and focus on getting better. I don't want to be constantly around you because all that will do is set you back. Until I can get this Vicky thing taken care of, I know that you need to distance yourself from me, and I'm okay with that, especially until you get the proper meds."

"I love you," she whispered suddenly. I believed her words, but more importantly, I understood them. She wasn't asking me to stay, she needed what I was offering and she was thanking me with the truest statement she could come up with. What we had was based on lies that completely broke us, and no matter how much we cared about each other, if we were going to become whole people again, then we needed time to heal separately.

"I love you too," I assured her softly. "I'm going to go talk to Carlisle. I'm sure he knows some struggling interns that could use a temporary roommate to help pay their rent."

I got up to leave the room, but Bella needed something else from me first. She stood, and reached her arms around my torso and pressed her cheek against my chest. I held her back tightly, and we just stayed like that for several long moments that ended way too soon. I kissed her forehead, and then left her to go speak to Carlisle.

"How is she?" Carlisle asked concerned.

"She said she was on some kind of medication for depression, and then she stopped taking it abruptly," I explained, knowing he'd understand exactly what I was talking about.

"Postpartum depression," he said absently while nodding his head, but then he suddenly became angry.

"What?" I asked worriedly.

"This is the problem with doctors today," he said furiously while picking up the phone and starting to dial.

"Who are you calling?" I asked confused.

"Edward, I just am so…_upset_ that her doctor didn't call anyone when he knew she was on medication and just stopped showing up to appointments. He should have been keeping a closer eye on her."

"But…how could he call anyone, isn't there a confidentiality thing?" I asked.

"You know what…no, not when it comes to a teenager with antidepressants. I don't care about protocol and the law, in this instance the doctor has a human responsibility to step in." He hung up the phone and started pacing around the room agitatedly. I couldn't remember a time when he was so worked up about something, and it was actually making me anxious. "Do you know how many kids took their own lives because of issues with medications like this?"

"Like suicide?" I asked terrified by the thought.

"Emotional teenagers and these drugs can be a dangerous combination. Now don't get me wrong, with the right dosage and proper supervision, they can make a real difference in people's lives….but when doctors like this just wash their hands of a patient and accept missed appointments when they know they are on the meds…it just really…" he held his hand up and squeezed it while gritting his teeth. "I assure you son, I won't let this continue…not in my hospital."

I nodded. "Can you help her?" I asked desperately and furiously terrified that Bella was ever in such danger in the first place.

"Of course. I'll make sure she gets what she needs." He took a deep breath to calm himself, and then he came to sit back down. "Tell me Edward, how do you plan on moving forward with all of this?….By the look on your face, I can tell you have a plan."

"She can't be alone anymore. I need her to be here so you and Esme can watch her and she can safely be around Carlie…but…I think me being here will be detrimental for her recovery. No one has ever hurt her more than me, and I need to give her space."

Carlisle sighed, and then nodded. "This is your home Edward, you're our son and as much as we love Bella, our priority is you. BUT, if you feel like this is best and you can handle it, then I think it's a very mature decision."

"I can handle it," I said confidently. I had to handle it, I had to do it for my family.

"Well, I have an idea then. Dr. Amun is thinking about opening a hospital for people with traumatic histories. He asked if you'd be willing to…be a guinea pig of sorts, and stay with him at his home for a few weeks to test out on some of his more intense techniques. I told him _no_ originally because I thought you wanted to be here with Carlie, but if you're going to be away anyway, then perhaps it would be a good thing for you. Unlike the hospital will be, you'll still be able to go to school and come here to visit Carlie and Bella, but it's the evening sessions that he's most concerned about testing."

"So…I'll stay at his house?" I asked a little weirded out by the entire thing.

"Just for a couple weeks, and we'll figure out what to do after that. You can go to school every day, come here afterwards to have Carlie time, do homework, and then after dinner, go there and have a long session before bed. Amun believes that a person heals in their sleep while they dream, so a session right before bed is important, and that's what he's researching."

I certainly didn't want to do it. I hated the weekly day sessions enough, but at the same time, I wanted nothing more than to get better and it was the perfect solution to my problem of needing a place to stay. If there was even a chance for those evening sessions to help me in the long run, then I was more than willing to try.

"Ok, I'll do it," I told him with a doubtful gulp.

"Anytime you want to come home, you can," he assured me.

I nodded. "Can I go this afternoon?" I asked eager to get it over with.

"I think that would be best. I'll call Dr. Amun and set it all up."

"Thanks," I said.

"Edward…I'm really proud of you. You've stepped up and done things that were needed. You're an adult now, in every sense of the word."

"Well, technically, I'm still seventeen," I joked.

He nodded. "Age is just a number, it's your actions that count."

"Thanks," I repeated and then left to go pack some stuff, and spend time with Carlie before I had to leave.

I went to go look for Carlie, but Esme was alone in her room folding laundry. I would have asked her where she was, but I already knew. I went back to my room and knocked lightly before walking in. Bella was laying on the bed, stroking Carlie's back who was lying beside her.

"Hey," I said softly. I went over and kneeled by the bed so I could look at my baby's face and kiss her head. She wasn't sleeping, but she was perfectly content just lying with her mom, and it was an amazingly peaceful sight to see.

"I feel like I haven't seen her in weeks," Bella said while wiping a tear from her face. "How could I have just left her like that?" she said with that familiar self hatred that I had grown used to hearing within my own mind. But Bella didn't deserve the hate, not even from herself.

"It wasn't your fault. It was the meds and…"

"I'm not going to make excuses. I chose not to tell you or anyone else when I first started having issues. This is on me," she said strongly.

"You know, I have spent these past few months blaming Vicky and James for what they did to me which caused you and me to be apart, but…I shouldn't have left that day in the first place. We all make choices that we'll always regret, but we can't take them back and it's just a waste to dwell on them. Whose fault it is doesn't change the outcome. I still have to deal with the consequences, but I will, because there isn't any other choice."

She nodded. "So, it's best to just move past it?"

"Yep."

"When did you get so wise?" she said with a heavy smile.

"Lots of therapy," I said jokingly, but was actually telling the truth. I had resisted the sessions in the beginning, but I realized in that moment, just how much they had helped me, which made me even more eager to go to Dr. Amun's. If I had come that far from just weekly hour long appointments, I was curious to see what nightly sessions would do.

"Carlisle is going to get you through this," I told her after a minute. "He's going to get you on better medication, and make sure you see a therapist that knows what they're doing."

"Do you trust him?" she asked me unexpectedly.

"Who? Carlisle?" I asked unsure. She nodded, so thought about it for a few minutes. "Yeah…I do," I said finally.

She smiled. "Good."

I understood her comment then. It wasn't that she didn't trust him and was looking for reassurance, she just knew that I didn't trust anyone before, so she was happy for my new found faith in the man….well, in all the Cullens to be fair.

I told her my plan for going to Dr. Amun's house, and she actually seemed to feel better about the entire thing. I knew she hated the idea of me leaving because of her, but since I'd be getting help in the process, she was relieved and could accept it.

That afternoon, Carlisle and Esme took Bella back to the hospital and talked to a different psychiatrist about getting her new medication and therapy. I wanted to be the one to take her, but she needed some space from me during her recovery process, so I stayed with Carlie. It was good to spend that one on one time with my baby anyway, with our new temporary living situation, it would be awhile before I was really alone with her again, and I knew I'd miss that time like crazy.

They were gone for a couple hours, and when they came back, they all looked a little more relaxed and hopeful.

"Everything go ok?" I asked.

"I think it's going to be good," Bella said optimistically. "I'm going to try to get acclimated to the new medication for the rest of this week, and then try to return to school on Monday."

"And work?" I questioned.

She shook her head. "I'm not allowed right now. The doctor thinks it's best to come here right after school and just try to focus on Carlie and getting better."

"But…" Esme prompted as she walked past us.

Bella bit her lip. "But, he also said that I need to make time for myself too. I need to be with her every day, bus she can't be my entire life," she said with a mix of annoyance and acceptance.

"So I expect you to take her out every once in awhile," Esme told me sternly. "Go to the movies or dinner, hell even bowling or mini golf. Find some good clean safe fun."

"Well, it sounds like everything is on the right track now," I said relieved.

"Thanks to you," Bella said quietly. "And the Cullen's of course," she added quickly.

"We love you sweetheart," Esme said while hugging her quickly before heading into the kitchen.

We stared at each other for awhile, and like usual, she was the one who broke the silence.

"You don't have to leave," she murmured.

"Can you honestly look at me and not feel pain and betrayed?" I asked her seriously.

Her eyes pooled again, and she looked away to try to hide it.

"See?...I'm not going to be gone forever, and I'll be here every day to see Carlie, but right now, we need this separation and you need to be here with Carlie, Esme and Carlisle. I'll be fine…better than fine, I'm going to get some brain work done, and everything is going to be better," I said with a halfhearted smile. "In fact, I should get going now," I said while looking at my watch.

"But you'll be back tomorrow?" she asked anxiously.

I nodded. " I promise."

"I love you," she said again, and like before, I understood.

"I love you too."

And that's when I realized the gravity of the conversation we just had, and how drastically everything had changed. I was always a little resentful that I couldn't read her the way she always seemed to be able to do with me, but now, I could. I understood her and the things that were in her head and in her heart, and I was extremely grateful….Although a part of me wondered if perhaps it wasn't a new ability of mine, perhaps she finally just let me in and allowed me to see that part of her. Either way, it definitely brought me a whole new level of love for her…and honestly, respect for myself.

We had a long road ahead of us, but I was confident we'd still get there.

* * *

><p><strong>****Everything will be getting better between them from here on out!<strong>

**I'm still not exactly sure how many chapters are left, we still have to deal with Vicky and James, but I'll try to wrap it up soon.**

**Please Review**


	7. Ch 21 Fighting for Grossness

**Unintended – A Loss of Faith**

~Chapter 21 –_Fighting for Grossness_~

Being at Dr. Amun's house was odd. Everything there was an organized chaotic mess, and it was actually ironically funny.

"How do you get anything done in here?" I asked as I looked in his home office.

"I know where everything is," he assured me with a smile. "Everyone has their flaws Edward, and it's best to be open about them," he explained.

The therapy sessions were intense, but I was surprised by how little I fought them. I was open and tried like hell to do everything and say anything he asked. I wanted nothing more than to go back home, but even more than being there for myself, I knew Bella needed that time.

When Monday came, I drove over to the Cullens to see Carlie before school, and I was pleasantly surprised when Bella asked for a ride to school with me. I could see that she was really trying to not be so independent, and she was pushing herself to allow others to help her, which was definitely a good thing. Independence was important, but we as humans needed others around, and that was a new realization for her.

"So…how are you feeling on the new medication?" I asked her on the drive to school. It wasn't the first I had seen her since I moved in with Amun, but it was our first time alone.

"Good…so far. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop….I guess I'm just not very optimistic," she admitted.

"No, it's going to work this time, I just know it," I told her confidently.

"Well, how are you doing?" she asked concerned.

I shrugged. "It's definitely not the happiest place on earth, but…it's cool."

When we got to school, I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to class, and she surprisingly nodded. I spent that entire day worried about her, but when lunch came and I saw her sitting with Angela again, I knew things were going to be alright. No one asked Bella about her brief departure from the group, and I was glad, she didn't need to get into all that with any of them…though, I was fairly certain she had talked to Angela.

We didn't speak much at lunch, but it wasn't awkward at all, and I was grateful for that. She was waiting for me after school by my car, and we drove home with light casual chatter. When we got to the Cullens, we both were eager to see Carlie, so we took turns with her as the other worked on homework. We all ate dinner together, and then I said goodnight, and headed back to Dr. Amun's for the night.

It pretty much went on the same way all week, and with every passing day, I felt like we were just one step closer to our ultimate goal of normalcy. But then we ran into an unexpected complication that changed everything and threw us off course….

"Edward, I think you should come down here as quick as you can," Esme called me one evening.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I already began heading to my car.

"Carlie and Bella are fine, we just have a little issue and you'll understand when you get here," she explained, without really explaining anything.

"Ok, I'll be there in ten minutes," I said before hanging up the phone and pushing harder on the gas pedal. When I got there, I saw Pastor Swan's car in the driveway, and I soon realized that he wasn't there on a pleasant social visit.

"I don't have to wait for anyone!" I heard Charlie's voice carry as I walked into the house. "Bella should be someplace that she can get the proper help she needs. I've made arrangements for her, and you're not going to tell me that I can't take her!"

"What the hell is going on?" I asked angrily as I walked onto the scene. Charlie was in the kitchen with two other men, and they appeared to be in a standoff with Carlisle and Esme, but Bella was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm taking my daughter away from this situation, once and for all," Charlie said sternly. "This was a mistake from the beginning, and I'm sorry I've let it go on for so long.

I almost wanted to laugh at the man. He chose then to be an involved parent? It was pathetic and there was no way I was going to let him get away with it.

"Hold on, you're not taking her anywhere," I said assuredly. "She was fine before here, and she only got worse because she was on her own."

"I can't believe no one told me she's been sick," he said angrily, ignoring my comment. "I had to find out from one of the kids at church. I'm her father, and I have a right to know what's going on in my child's life."

"Who told you?" I asked seriously curious. I wasn't purposely trying to hide it from him, but to be perfectly honest, the thought never even crossed my mind. He was an absentee parent, so he was absent in my mind as well.

"It doesn't matter," he said quickly. "But I'm taking charge of her care now."

"You're not taking her anywhere," I insisted strongly.

"We've already explained to Mr. Swan that Bella is doing well, and moving her now would be detrimental to her recovery," Carlisle said to me calmly.

"And as I explained already to you, I have made arrangements for her elsewhere. She doesn't need to be around any of this, and if she's going to get better than she needs to be separated from the issue," Charlie rebutted.

"Uh…by _issue_, do you mean our daughter? Cause, I've given her the space she needs from me, so the only thing I can think of that you would be talking about there, is the baby."

"I do think some time away would be good for her. Not forever, but just some time. Bella can't worry about being a mother when she needs to be worried about getting better," Charlie explained.

_Fucking pathetic._

"And I suppose you think Bella's mother taking off when she did, was what was best as well," I said mockingly.

Charlie didn't respond, he just glared at me; he knew I was right and there wasn't anything he could say about it.

I heard a quiet noise from the stairs, so I subtly looked over and saw Bella there holding the baby monitor, looking absolutely horrified. Bella didn't want to leave, and she was scared that she'd be forced to.

"Charlie, I appreciate your sudden concern and all, but you're not taking Bella anywhere," I said evenly. I would not get pissed and lose control on him, I had to remain focused and make it perfectly clear that he had no authority over Bella anymore.

"She is seventeen years old, and she will do what I think is best," he said.

"Sorry to tell you this, but you lost the right to make decisions for her the day you married us," I told him slightly arrogantly.

"You're divorced," he stated.

"Not yet…Listen, if I thought Bella leaving would help her, I would let her go, but running from her problems isn't going to accomplish anything except repress them. Believe me, I know what it's like to try and hide from the pain, but that doesn't work. She needs to face it head on, and that's what she's doing here."

As I said the words, I realized that they were true for more than just her emotional problems and insecurities of being a mother. Perhaps I was wrong before about needing to give her space, perhaps I needed to be there and fight for my marriage. Bella had constantly been around people who went away, but that's not what she needs, and I knew right then that I wouldn't spend another night at Dr. Amun's place. I appreciated what he was trying to do, but he was going to have to find another patient to try out his theories, because I belonged at home with my wife and daughter.

"I'm sorry Charlie, but Bella is my responsibility now, and I refuse to let you or anyone else take her from me. I will stop at nothing to make sure she's better…and she will get better," I told him with conviction.

He stared at me coldly for a long moment, but suddenly and unexpectedly, he nodded. "Good," he said finally. "She deserves to have someone fight for her," he said quietly, before turning and leaving the house with the other men following behind him.

_What the fuck just happened?_

"Well…I think Charlie saw your dedication," Esme said supportively with a smile.

"Good job son," Carlisle said with a light pat on my back.

"Carlisle…I don't want to go back to Dr. Amun's," I told him then.

He took a deep breath, and then nodded. "Ok," he said simply. He wasn't disappointed or relieved by my decision. It was odd, but he didn't seem to have an opinion on the matter at all, and it actually made me feel really good. He trusted my judgment…like an adult, and whatever I decided to do, I knew he would support me completely.

I looked back over to the stairs where I saw Bella before, and she was gone, so I had no idea how much she heard or how she felt on the matter. But I couldn't worry about that either; I was done trying to do what I thought Bella wanted, because what we both _needed _was to move on with our lives, and our lives were meant to be together. I was sure of that fact now, and Bella would just have to accept it. I would never force myself on her, but I was positive that I wouldn't have to. Bella loved me, and that's all I needed as a catalyst to move forward.

"Emmett's bed is all ready for you," Esme said.

"Uh…thanks, but I mean I don't want to go back to Dr. Amun's house at all," I explained thinking she assumed it was just for the night.

"Well, we always knew you would be coming back here, so we already planned on you moving into Emmett's room," she told me.

"Where are Emmett and Rose going to stay when they're here?" I asked, not wanting to take over their space completely.

"I've ordered a Murphy bed for my office," Carlisle jumped in.

"A Murphy bed? …Oh, are those the ones that look like book shelves and then they pull down from the wall?" I asked curiously.

"Exactly," Carlisle said with a strange level of excitement lacing his words. It was actually funny how something like a Murphy bed could make the man excited.

"Wow…cool. Thanks for all of this," I told both of them. Once again, I was completely rearranging their lives and home and I felt horribly guilty for it, but grateful even more. "I should go…talk to Bella," I said hesitantly, suddenly feeling nervous.

"I'll call Dr. Amun for you and arrange to go back to your original once a week schedule," Carlisle offered.

"Thanks," I told him before turning around and running up the stairs. When I got to the top, I was surprised to see the door to the bedroom open…for whatever reason, I was expecting it to be closed. But I tapped on it anyway, before walking in to find Bella sitting on the edge of the bed as if she was waiting for me. Carlie was sleeping in the cradle, and I was grateful for the fact that she was a good sleeper, because Bella and I definitely had a lot we needed to discuss.

"So…you heard all that?" I asked to be sure. She nodded, so I continued. "Are you Ok…what do you think about all of it?"

"I'm glad you're here," she told me. "I was worried when my dad showed up here wanting to take me away; I wasn't sure what the law was about all of that."

"He has no authority to make decisions for you anymore," I told her quietly. Since she went back upstairs before I told Carlisle that I was moving home, I figured that would be the best place to start. "I'm not going back to Dr. Amun's…I'm moving home. As long as you and Carlie are here, I will be too."

She nodded. "I heard that too," she mumbled.

"You did?"

"Yeah…I'm glad. I love Esme and Carlisle, but it's so strange being here without you," she said unexpectedly. I had been so relieved that I could finally read Bella's emotions properly before, but suddenly I was lost again. She seemed confusingly calm yet anxious, excited but scared at the same time, which couldn't be accurate…._could it?_

I wasn't sure if I should tell her right then about my decision to not let her push me away anymore, but then I took a deep breath and went for it. "Bella, I'm not going to pressure you or anything, but I refuse to give up on us. I love you, you love me, and we can't let anything or anyone get in the way of that anymore. Being apart isn't the solution, and with time…_especially after I prove Vicky's baby isn't mine_, all this bullshit will be long over, and we'll be stronger than ever. We just need to hold on till then, but I won't let this continue to slip away. We need to be together, and even if the divorce goes through, it's only temporary, because I _will_ be married to you again."

I tried to make myself sound confident, but I wasn't sure how well it worked because inside I was scared as hell that she was going to shove my words back into my face, and tell me to go fuck myself. The last thing I wanted to do was set us back, but I truly believed we had spent enough time apart, and I wanted to get our lives back on track.

Bella's face gave nothing away, but then she sighed and completely changed the direction of conversation into one I never would have expected.

"I just got my period," she said abruptly.

"Uh…ok…good," I said, unsure as to why she was telling me that, especially right then.

"It is _good_, I was a few days late," she said suggestively.

_Oh._

"Like...you thought…?" I couldn't even finish that statement; it was too fucking ridiculously fucked up to even think about something like that.

She nodded. "We didn't exactly use protection at that party, but spending a day worrying about it, actually forced me to think about things more clearly."

"Why didn't you tell me you were…_late?_" I asked with a gulp. It was even fucking hard to say the word 'late' in that context.

"I was going to tell you today if I didn't get it, but…I got it," she said with more mixed emotions.

"Ok…well good…_right?_" I asked, confused even more.

"Yeah, it's definitely good. I mean, we _have_ a baby, and then you could have another one on its way already, so, me being pregnant right now would have been seriously…fucked up," she said, echoing my thoughts completely.

"But?" I prompted. It was obvious that she had more to say on the topic, so I waited for her to continue.

"But a part of me was slightly disappointed as well."

"Huh?" I asked shocked.

"Don't get me wrong, having another baby right now would not be good for anyone, but…I miss it. I miss having your baby inside of me, but I realized that it isn't really even about the baby. Being pregnant…is like having you with me and inside of me all the time. I took you everywhere then, and I miss it. There's even a part of me that's actually jealous of Vicky, because there's a chance that she still gets to have that."

"Bella…" I was about to argue with her and pretty much tell her how stupid that was, but she cut me off.

"But, it made me realize something."

"Ok, what?" I asked, unsure if I really even wanted to know.

"I was looking at Carlie yesterday, and I realized that I love her…because she's _you_. She came from you, and as much as I hate Vicky, she was right before in the hospital. If her baby is yours, then it'll probably look like you just as much as Carlie does. I mean, let's face it, you have some pretty strong genes," she said with a light laugh.

"What are you saying?" I asked bewildered.

"I've made a mess of this, but I finally know that none of it really matters. I love you, and I love Carlie because she came from you…so how could I not love any other baby that came from you too? If Vicky's child turns out to be yours, then you can count on me to help you do whatever it takes to care for it…I'm assuming that you're going to try to get custody, right?"

"Uh…yeah…Hold on, back up. You're going to do what?" I asked in shock.

"Vicky just doesn't seem to really care about the baby. Obviously, she just wants the money, I mean, she was after rich guys long before she got pregnant, so…you'll pay her, and she'll go away."

"You would help me raise it?" I asked absently. I could not believe we were even having that conversation, but the fact that we were, just cemented everything I never even dared to ever hope for. Bella was telling me we were going to be together, no matter the outcome of the Vicky thing, and I seriously felt like I could fucking fly. The last thing I really wanted was for Vicky's kid to be mine, but if it was then I would have to take care of it, but learning Bella was going to be with me through everything, just made all the difference in the world.

She bit her lip, and nodded. "I love you, and I'm not going to continue to allow Vicky and James to get in the way of that. You didn't have a choice in that situation, but we can choose to not let it ruin the rest of our lives. We need to be together, for us and our family…and if that includes Vicky's baby, then we'll have to give that child as much love as we're capable of."

And just like that, I felt like I had finally woken from the worst nightmare imaginable.

"I love you so much," I told her intensely.

"I love you too," she said emotionally with tears in her eyes.

"So…we're back then?" I asked, just to be sure I wasn't misunderstanding her.

She reached her hand up to caress my face as a tear spilled over her cheek, and then she smiled and nodded.

Without her removing her hand from my cheek, I gently cradled her face in my hands, before slowly leaning into her. Our lips brushed against the other's carefully, just testing each other out, and it felt absolutely fucking amazing.

I had been so blinded by my anger before at that party, that I really didn't remember the feeling of her skin on mine then, so it felt like it had been a lifetime since I touched her like that…and it had. The last time we kissed…_really kissed_, was before our daughter was born, so everything had changed since then. But surprisingly, the feelings passing between us were stronger than ever.

It wasn't like coming back together, it was more like a fresh new start. The pain from our separation, and all the hurt we caused each other, was completely gone. Not healed, but as if there was no pain in the first place. We had been through hell and we were stronger because of it, and I didn't have a doubt in my mind that we would always be together from then on out. Nothing would come between us again, I wouldn't allow it.

Our kiss became stronger and more intense, but I wasn't worried about it being too much or too fast for her, because I knew she was ready…we both were.

"Um…Edward," she said quietly as my kisses moved to her neck as I began unbuttoning her shirt.

"Mmm?" I couldn't stop kissing her, so I didn't. _God, her skin tasted so fucking good, and I really wondered how I lived without it for so long._

"Edward," she said a little stronger after I pulled her shirt off and started working on her pants.

"What?" I finally forced myself to ask. "What's wrong?"

"We can't do this," she said unexpectedly. Ok… I _thought _we both wanted it; could I have been wrong? Bella was definitely putting the brakes on, and my stomach actually dropped from just the thought of not being able to touch her again.

"Why?" I asked desperately.

Her face broke out into one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen on her face before, which only confused me even more, but I couldn't help but smile with her regardless. But then her smile faded and she bit her bottom lip as her face darkened three of the most remarkable shades of pink.

"I told you…I'm on my period," she mumbled embarrassedly.

Oh…right, _fuck_.

Bella and I had our entire relationship while she was pregnant, so we never had to deal with that, and I sure as hell didn't want to deal with it right then either. I wanted to be inside her, and truthfully, I didn't give a shit about anything else, not even her period. What's a little blood anyway?

"It's fine," I said as I continued to try to remove her pants.

"Ugh, that's gross," she said with a disturbed laugh.

_Was it? Because I seriously couldn't think of anything coming from her as being gross. _

"I don't care," I insisted, and I wasn't just saying it, I really legitimately didn't care. "At least you can't get pregnant right now, right?"

"Edward," she giggled as I continued kissing her, refusing to give up. "Why don't you just give me a minute, and then we can figure out a different place for you to stick it," she said while wiggling out from under me and practically running to the bathroom.

But I didn't want to stick _it _anywhere else, I wanted to make love to her, not some cheap blowjob or fucking through the backdoor, so I rushed after her before she had a chance to lock the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked amused by my persistence.

"I just felt like I could use a shower," I said with a mischievous grin, and I didn't give her a chance to argue. I turned it on, and immediately began stripping before pulling her in with me.

"You're crazy," she said lightly with a smile.

"That's a really mean comment seeing how I was just forced to be a test subject for a future loony bin," I joked as straight faced as possible.

"Well, with how odd I've been acting lately, we might as well throw 'mean' on the pile as well," she said before I shut her up with my mouth crushing down on hers.

It was wonderfully strange how quickly things turned around for us. We just made the decision to fight for our relationship and be together, and we were. There was no warming period, no awkwardness…and absolutely no more modesty.

It may sound disgusting, but I couldn't wait to be one of those couples who were perfectly comfortable using the toilet and passing gas in front of each other. It was a sign of complete love and trust; being confident in the fact that there wasn't anything we could do that would turn the other away, was truly an amazing thing. I wanted to take her for granted, and yet be thankful for her every single day for the rest of my life, and suddenly I felt extremely lucky. Most people never find their true other half, and there I was at seventeen years old, and I was positive I was with mine once and for all.

Everything was different after that, and yet it all finally felt right. We held each other all night long, and we spent that time murmuring 'I love yous' and staring at each other in awe, before finally falling asleep wrapped up in each other's arms. It was truly one of the best nights of my life; I had my baby peacefully sleeping a few feet away, and the love of my life by my side, so it couldn't possibly get any better than that.

The next morning, we sat down with the Cullens and discussed the changes. We just felt it was only right to tell them exactly what our plans were moving forward.

"Well, I think it's good that you're going into it openly, and with complete honesty between you," Carlisle said after we finished saying everything we wanted to say.

"And we're so happy for you," Esme added excitedly while grabbing us for a huge hug. It was obvious how much lighter both Bella and I felt from being back together, and Esme was absolutely thrilled because of it.

"And the divorce?" Carlisle questioned. "I'm not sure if we can have it retracted at this point."

I looked at Bella, and we both smiled at each other. "No, we're happy to be divorced. That marriage was wrong from the beginning, and the next time we get married, we're going to do it for the right reasons," I explained.

"…Oooo!" Esme squealed while wailing her arms around enthusiastically, and yes, she hugged us again.

"Bella, I think it would be best to get you on birth control right away, but you're going to have to be very careful with the new medication being added to what you're already taking. You can do it safely, but we need to keep a close eye on it," he said to her but kept glancing at me meaningfully, so I knew that responsibility was basically mine. I needed to take care of her and watch for any signs of problems, and of course, I would. She was my life, and I wasn't going to let anything, medications or otherwise, get between us again.

School had changed as well. We were constantly holding hands and kissing, she would even sit on my lap during lunch whenever possible. When we weren't in separate classes, we were together; constantly together, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

The only concern I had left, the only test Bella and I still had to go through, was the Vicky thing. Bella said she would stand by me, but perhaps she would feel differently when we were actually faced with it. Only time would tell, but whatever the case, I was going to fight like hell to keep what was mine…_everything_ that was mine.

* * *

><p><strong>****Winding down soon. I'm guessing two regular chapters left and then an epilogue, but don't hold me to that, because I'm just not exactly sure <strong>

**Please Review**


	8. Ch 22 Kids and Adults

**Unintended – A Loss of Faith**

~Chapter 22 – _Kids and Adults_~

Time passed and the seasons changed, and as June rolled around, two huge events occurred…I turned eighteen, and we graduated from high school. It felt like we had stopped being kids so long ago, but that was truly the beginning of our lives as adults.

"Wow man, I never thought we'd spend our graduation night like this," Garrett said incredulously as we readied ourselves.

"Yeah, we should really be off somewhere getting plastered," I joked with a laugh. "Whoop, heads up," I told him as the volleyball came flying towards us.

Our group of friends was at the beach for a bonfire and a few rounds of volleyball, and I actually couldn't imagine a better way to spend that afternoon and early evening.

"Booya!…Point," I gloated as the other team was unsuccessful at retuning the ball.

"You know, if you chicks would play, we'd have more players and we could play a real game!" Peter called to Bella, Charlotte, and Angela.

"Why, when it's so much more fun watching you big strapping men play," Charlotte called back with a laugh.

We started out just playing each other, but then Mike Newton and a few of his jock wannabe friends showed up and challenged us. Some of them were even on the Volleyball team at school…and we still kicked their asses.

"I'll play," Bella jumped up and said unexpectedly. Bella hated all things sports, so I was shocked when she decided to give it a try, but I was even more shocked when she decided to play for Mike's team.

"What the hell, babe?" I asked incredulously.

She scrunched her face and waved her hand at me dismissively. "They have fewer players, besides, I used to work with all these guys," she explained.

"I'll play too," Angela jumped in.

"I'll…_watch_," Charlotte announced completely uninterested.

So the teams went as followed – me, Peter, Garrett, Angela, and Ben, verses Mike, Eric, Tyler, Bella, and Jessica. As far as I knew, Bella hadn't really spoken to Jess since the whole drug party thing, so I was even more confused as to why she would pick to be on their side…but when it was her turn to serve, I finally understood.

"Whoops…sorry Mike," Bella said sheepishly as she hit him hard in the head with the ball, thus losing their team's serve. Every time the ball went to Bella, she'd try to go for it, but she was every bit as bad as I knew she was going to be…But god I loved that woman; she even managed to make being bad at sports, sexy.

"Our game. Better luck next time ladies," Peter said smugly after we beat their team again.

"That's not fair; you gave us your worst player!" Jessica whined.

"Hey, I take offense to that," I said quickly. "Bella is definitely the best out here."

"Best at what?" Mike mumbled bitterly.

"Everything," I said truthfully….well, at least it was true in my mind. _Yeah, I was a fucking pathetically whipped sap, and I was damn proud of it too._

"Ahh, you're such a sweet liar," Bella said as she skipped over to wrap her arms around my neck and kiss me.

"I still say she hustled us," Mike added under his breath.

"Don't be a little bitch, Newton!" Peter shouted. "We kicked your ass before Bella was even on your team. Fuck, how the hell do you guys call yourself varsity level jocks? No wonder why our school teams never made it into the playoffs."

"Yeah…well…_fuck you_," Mike said pathetically like the loser he was, and of course, we all laughed at him so he took off with his equally idiotic lackeys trailing behind him.

We hung out for a couple more hours, and Garrett insisted on telling stupid 'scary' stories which he swore were true. But as much as I just wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of them, Bella had curled up against my chest and I loved being in that position, so I didn't feel like ruining the mood.

"Ready to go?" I asked Bella as the fire started to die down.

"Yeah," she said with a yawn.

We said goodbye to everyone, but there was no huge scene because Angela was basically the only one going away for college, and we planned on seeing her again before she left. Bella and I decided to register together at the local community college, and remain living with the Cullens through the first semester at least. We wanted a place of our own, but we also wanted to get into the college routine first as well…. Plus, on the off chance that we would have another baby to take care of in the next couple months, we figured we may need all the help we could get in that department.

Vicky had shown up one more time for me to pay for her doctor appointment, but I refused to go to anymore. Carlisle set it up with the hospital so the cost of it would just automatically be withdrawn from my account, and the more time I spent with Vicky, the more I really wanted her to fall off the face of the planet, so me staying away from her was just better for everyone. The baby was due late July, so it was coming and we were all getting a little antsy; but it was ok, we were dealing and I just couldn't wait for it to be over with, regardless of the outcome.

"Hey…maybe we should pull over," Bella suggested on our drive back home from the beach.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Carlie is probably sleeping anyway by now, so there's no rush in getting back," she said suggestively.

And she sure as hell didn't need to ask me twice.

The tires screeched as I quickly turned down an obscure dirt road, before pulling to a stop. Bella certainly didn't waste any time as she climbed right onto my lap so she was straddling me, and began opening my shirt.

Bella and I could never get enough of each other, and whenever we were alone, no matter what we were doing or where we were going, we always found a way to connect. But the best part was that since we no longer had Bella's huge stomach between us, we could get in all kinds of positions that we were never able to do before. And thank god for birth control! I loved not having to worry about stupid fucking condoms, and it felt infinitely better as well. In fact, the only time Bella and I had ever used a condom together, was the night she got pregnant…so, go figure.

But our current position still wasn't my favorite. I loved being inside Bella no matter what, but with her on top and the steering wheel in her back, it just didn't leave us much room to move very well. Somehow, I managed to maneuver us into the cramped back seat, and we immediately began shoving each other's pants down before I plunged into her. She always felt amazing, and unlike popular belief, giving birth did nothing to her tightness.

She was fucking amazing, and no matter how many time we'd have sex over the period of a day, every time felt like it had been months since the last. _Truly perfect_.

Bella and I were finally officially divorced, but on the day it became finalized, we celebrated by going to the club in Seattle that we went to the year before, and we wound up having sex in the bathroom. It was kind of ridiculous to think about it from an outsider's perspective, but for us, it was exactly where we wanted to be at that moment…happily divorced, but overjoyed to still be together.

We discussed our desired time frame for getting remarried, but we wanted to wait until things settled first. We just wanted to be ready to move out on our own, because the next time we got married, we'd be making an adult decision to do so, so we needed to be able to live as such as well.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Esme asked when we got home that evening.

"Great," I said…_especially the trip home, but she didn't need that detail._

"How was Carlie?" Bella asked her.

"Perfect, like always; and currently sleeping like an angel in her bed. She just talks up a storm, I only wish I knew what she was saying," Esme said with a laugh while turning off the baby monitor.

"Yeah, only Edward speaks Carlie's language," Bella agreed teasingly.

"Don't be jealous," I came back with quickly.

"Oh no honey, she wasn't being jealous," Esme jumped in. "Bella was just stating the fact that you and Carlie have a similar intellect."

"Ouch. That hurt _mom_," I said, jokingly offended. "You should be boosting your kid's confidence, not tearing it down."

"Oh honey, you know I love you," Esme said with a smirk after rolling her eyes dismissively.

"Whatever," I said playfully under my breath, and then I grabbed Bella's hand to pull her upstairs.

"Wait!" Esme called after us. "Emmett and Rose will be here tomorrow to go over wedding plans."

"Do they really still want to get married _here?_" I asked thinking it was a stupid idea.

"Well, Rose keeps going back and forth between wanting to do it here, and wanting a beach wedding," Bella informed us. Bella and Rose had become close over the past couple of months, and since they were Carlie's godparents, Rose and Emmett asked Bella and me to stand up for them at their wedding. Alice would be a bridesmaid as well, and Emmett had a college buddy who was also going to be in it. They were planning a huge event, and the more Bella and I helped them with everything, the more we realized just how much we didn't want a big wedding ourselves.

"I hope Rose decides soon. I know they wanted a July wedding," Esme said.

"Are you kidding, Alice is loving the added pressure; it's a challenge for her," Bella said with a laugh.

So basically, between their wedding and Vicky's baby being born, July was pretty much going to be just as busy as June, probably even more so.

When the next day came, Bella and I woke up bright and early, just as we always did due to the incessant babbling of Carlie the moment she opens her eyes. But she was definitely the best alarm clock I could ever imagine, and it was impossible to be grumpy when you wake up to her little happy face.

"Hey baby girl," I cooed as I picked her up out of her crib.

She continued to 'talk' to me, and unlike everyone else in that house, I could actually understand her…at least I pretended to.

"Yeah, I know, I miss nursing too," I said as seriously as I was capable of as I walked past the bathroom where Bella was getting dressed.

"You wish," Bella said casually.

"I do wish. I just don't think it's very fair that you hated me during that time, and I never got a chance to try it," I told her.

"You just get grosser and grosser every day," Bella responded lightly before kissing me, and then taking Carlie out of my arms so I could get dressed as well. "And I _never_ hated you," she added.

"But, you probably wouldn't have let me try it," I continued.

"Oh my god, let it go!" she said playfully annoyed. "Next time I give birth, you can suck on my tits as much as you want."

"That's all I'm asking," I joked, but tried to keep a serious tone.

When we were ready, we took Carlie downstairs, and I made coffee for us and a bottle for Carlie.

"Morning," Esme said happily as she came into the kitchen. "Emmett and Rose should be here any time," she said lightly.

"Why so early?" I asked confused.

"I'm not sure, they said they have something they wanted to tell us."

"Maybe they eloped," I said with a laugh.

"Well, that would seriously break Alice's heart," Bella said while she began feeding Carlie.

"What would break my heart?" Alice asked as she came dancing down the stairs.

"Nothing," Esme said quickly. "Emmett just has something he needs to tell us. I'm sure it's not a big deal."

"Oh…is dad home?" Alice asked, and then went to grab a yogurt from the fridge.

"He worked through the night, so he should be home soon," Esme told her.

Emmett and Rose arrived a little while later, and of course immediately went over to hold and kiss Carlie.

"There's my girl," Rose cooed as she held her hands out to her. Carlie smiled and leaned out of Bella's arms, and Rose took her happily. "Look how big you are. Every time I see you, you just get bigger and bigger."

We all just watched Rose's interaction with Carlie curiously. Something was different with her, it was almost like she was sad or even desperate in a way, but I had no idea why. When Carlisle came home, we all sat in the dining room and waited to hear the news; all the while, Rose continued to cling to Carlie like she was her lifeline.

"What's going on?" Carlisle asked them worriedly.

Rose just stared at Carlie and looked like she was fighting off tears, as Emmett took a deep breath to explain. "We just learned that we won't be able to have kids of our own," he told us unexpectedly.

We were all shocked and saddened by the news, especially because we knew how much Rose wanted to be a mother, but Emmett still seemed optimistic.

"So, since the adoption process can take a long time, we've decided to begin it right away," he said enthusiastically.

"Wow, that's awesome," I told them, choosing to focus on the positive of the situation. They were still young as well and were finishing up college, but I knew if they could, they would have been parents already. They were planning on starting their family right after their wedding, but I suppose things happen for a reason, and someday we'll know what that reason was.

Rose was quiet and looked heartbroken while Emmett explained more about their problem as well as the adoption process, but leave it to Carlie to lighten her mood. My daughter was just like her mother in that sense, always knowing just how to break the ice. She kept grabbing locks of Rose's hair and trying to eat them, which eventually made Rose burst out laughing. Carlie was the ONLY one Rose would ever allow to mess with her hair.

We talked for a few hours, and went from being sad about the news, to excited for the options they did have, to outright irritation when Vicky picked that day, _of all days_, to decide to show up. As much as I hated it, Bella had gotten used to Vicky shoving her big round stomach in her face whenever possible; we never purposely spent time with the skank, but being in a small town, it was impossible to avoid her altogether.

But I actually felt like shit for Emmett and Rose right then. They just told us that they couldn't have kids, and there I was with my perfect six month old daughter, and possibly another kid on the way…and I could only imagine how shitty that would be for them. I was always a fuckup punk, who probably should have never been trusted with a kid, and they were both perfectly good and responsible... it just seemed terribly backwards.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked Vicky exasperated. I didn't want Vicky around Rose or Carlie, so I decided to not let her step foot in the house…_not that I wanted her in the house anyway_.

"Actually, I want to talk to Bella too" Vicky said casually.

"Sorry, she's busy right now," I said, really not wanting Bella to have to deal with any of her crap.

"Well, I'm not leaving until I speak to her," she said while crossing her arms and sitting on the steps.

"Oh, fuck it," I said under my breath, and then ran back inside to get Bella. I really wasn't worried about it, Bella was strong and she refused to allow Vicky to get to her anymore, so I knew whatever the hell she wanted, Bella could handle it.

"She wants to talk to you," I told her with an annoyed shrug.

"Ok…this should be fun," Bella said sarcastically as she followed me back outside.

"Whatever it is, just make it quick. I have a wedding to help plan," Bella said evenly when we got outside.

"Bella, I just want you to be here to hear what I have to say to Edward," Vicky told her dramatically.

"Great," Bella said irritated.

"Edward, we need to get married."

Bella and I just stared at her for a few moments, and because we were perfectly in sync, we both started laughing hysterically at the utterly ridiculous notion.

"Look, I don't understand your relationship," Vicky continued while trying to ignore our snickering. "But it seems that you two just keep getting back together…and I'm fine by that. Our marriage doesn't have to be based on love, or anything, I just want it legally binding. Bella can still live here and all, and I won't even complain when you fuck her, but in the eyes of the law, I want you to belong to me."

And then a whole new round of laughter erupted between us again. In fact, Bella and I were laughing so hard that we both almost fell over from it, so we used each other as support to try and stay up.

"This isn't funny," Vicky said while stomping her foot.

"Wait…did you actually just stomp your foot?" Bella asked breathlessly.

"If you don't marry me, then I will leave, and you'll never see me again…or our baby," Vicky threatened.

"Right…well, I'll take my chances," I said carelessly.

"You don't believe me?" she challenged.

"Nope. Why the hell would you leave without a dime from me? Come on, you're an idiot but you're not that stupid."

"If you won't marry me, then I'm sure dozens of desperate couples would do whatever I asked them to, in order to get their hands on this kid…Oh, you'll marry me alright, because you'd rather be married to me then to spend the rest of your life wondering and worrying about your baby, and who it ended up with," Vicky said maliciously.

"And what do you have to gain from marrying a guy who can't stand you?" Bella asked her seriously.

"You made the honor roll, I'm sure you can figure it out," Vicky said with a heartless grin.

"Of course…you want money," Bella said quickly.

"Yep," she responded shamelessly. "The kind of money that only a marriage and imminent divorce without a prenup can get me…Half of everything Edward has."

"Uh…well, sorry, but Bella took me to the cleaners during our divorce," I told her quickly.

"What?" Vicky said stunned.

"Yeah, she owns my cars, most of my money, and well, most of my parent's estate including the stocks," I told her with a smug smile.

I was actually telling the truth on the matter; we decided to put most of my inheritance in Bella's name upon gaining control of it after graduation. Carlisle basically signed it all over to me, and I in turn, signed it all over to Bella. It was a way to protect us over this very scenario, and I was fucking relieved we had done it.

Vicky gritted her teeth out of frustration, but I could actually see her trying to come up with a plan B... But she came up empty, and was pissed.

"Fine…you're never going to see this baby…EVER!" Vicky yelled. "I'm going to sell it…or even drop it anonymously at a fire station somewhere, and you'll never get your hands on it," she said bitterly.

"You know what, I really don't…" I was pissed, and at that moment, I really didn't care, but Bella interrupted me before I had a chance to tell the bitch to go fuck herself.

"How much money do you want?" Bella asked her unexpectedly. "You want us to buy the baby from you, if you're really that fucking heartless, then fine, tell us how much."

Vicky calmed herself, and raised her brow while she thought about it. "A hundred thousand," she said quickly.

I was actually quite surprised by her number; I was expecting it to be higher, but I suppose she was just a moron and really had no idea how much I was actually worth…_well, how much Bella was worth_.

"Done," Bella said without hesitation.

"And I want the money _now_," Vicky said abruptly.

"How do we know that you're not going to just take the money and run?" Bella questioned her. "The baby isn't due until next month."

"OK…how about this, the moment I go into labor, you give me the money and I'll sign away my rights, and make sure Edward's name is on the birth certificate, making him the sole guardian…. Actually, the doctor said my baby is really big and well developed, so I could go into labor early….any day really. So be ready with your checkbook….make that cash."

"Fine," Bella said, but they were both way ahead of themselves, and I wasn't about to agree on any of it.

"Hold up," I said quickly. "First of all, until there's a DNA test, I refuse to claim this baby as mine. And second, if you do go into labor sooner rather than later, then that just further proves that I'm not your kid's father."

"How so?" Vicky asked confused.

"Because idiot, the dates don't add up. The only way I could be that kid's father, is if the baby is born late July, _not_ mid June. Whatever you think you're going to get away with here, it's not going to work, and come late July, everyone is going to know what a lying bitch you really are," I said confidently.

She glared at me, and then took a step forward. "When I go into labor…you give me the money or you'll never know the truth. And what if it is your baby, what then? Are you really going to miss out on being a father and raising this kid the way you want, just because you can't trust me?"

"Not only am I not going to give you a dime before the baby is out, but DNA tests take up to a week to come back, so…I suggest you plan on hanging out for a bit if you want a chance of getting the money," I told her intensely, before grabbing Bella by the arm and pulling her back into the house.

"Edward…she could just disappear," Bella tried reasoning with me.

"You know what…then so be it," I said angrily. "That bitch is lying Bella, did you even hear her? She said her doctor told her the baby might come this week…it's bullshit!"

"Or…she was just desperate, and trying extra hard to get the money," Bella suggested.

I thought about it for a minute, and then shook my head. "She's lying Bella, I know it."

"I think she's lying too," she said quietly.

"You do?" I asked surprised and thrilled that I wasn't the only one who thought it was obvious. I wanted her to be lying so badly that I was worried that I was seeing things, but truthfully, Vicky had all the classic signs of being a complete liar. Failure to make eye contact, fidgeting, the lack of continuity in her story; she was lying, there was no doubt about it left in my mind.

"Yes, I do. But Edward, what if she's not? And even if she is, at the end of the day, there is an innocent baby who is being used as a bargaining tool by its own mother. That baby doesn't deserve that, and if we don't pay Vicky, then who knows where that poor child will end up. The best thing for that baby, would be for Vicky to sign away her rights either way. If you are the father then we'll take care of it, and if not…then at least Vicky still won't be around to ruin it's life. The amount of money she wants won't be that much of a loss anyway, but think of the good it will do for that baby's life."

_Fuck…she was right_. But I wasn't really surprised, Bella usually was right, but I still wasn't exactly sure what we should do about it.

"So…you think we should…?"

"Pay her," Bella said quietly.

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you secretly working with her on this? Maybe you two were in it together from the very beginning," I joked.

"Oh shit, you caught me," she said dryly.

"I love you, do you know that?" I asked her completely serious.

"I love you too…for always," she said intensely.

I took a heavy breath, and then sighed. "Well, I suppose it's only right that some of my heartless dad's money would go to a heartless bitch like her."

Bella wrapped her arms around my torso, and just held me for a few minutes. I kissed her head, and thanked god I still had her in my life. She was my rock, and I had no idea what I would have become without her.

So, against my better judgment, we went to the bank and got out the cash Vicky wanted, but we had to be smart about it. Bella was right, it was very possible that Vicky could take the cash and skip town before even giving birth, so we needed to make sure that she didn't get it until she was in full labor. So after the bank, we tried looking for Vicky so we could finalize the deal…but we couldn't find her anywhere.

"So, what now?" Bella asked worriedly.

I shook my head. "I don't know. I guess we just have to hope she turns up, and until then, spread the word that we're looking for her."

"I'm just really scared for that baby right now. Vicky looked really pissed when she left," Bella said concerned.

"Well, it's too soon to file a police report or anything, so we just have to wait," I told her calmly, but inside, I was actually just as worried as she was. I had no idea what that skank was capable of, and I was really fucking terrified.

Days past and we didn't see Vicky again, but for some reason, I just knew we hadn't seen the last of her, so I tried to stop worrying so much…but of course, the calm never lasted long.

…

That week's therapy session was particularly rough. I even spent an extra two hours with Dr. Amun, which really sucked, but I just wanted to get as much control over myself as possible before the entire Vicky thing exploded in front of me, like I was sure would happen.

And of course, it did…

"Hey, where's Bella?" I asked Rose when I got home from my session. Rose was playing with Carlie on the living room floor, but the moment my baby saw me, she reached for me, so I picked her up and peppered her face with kisses.

"Uh, she got a phone call about an hour ago and asked me if I'd watch Carlie, and then she rushed out of here. She didn't say where she was going," Rose explained.

"That's…weird," I said feeling slightly uneasy and not really knowing why.

I played with Carlie for the next hour and a half, but when she finally went down for her nap, I started really worrying about Bella. _Where could she have gone?_ I decided to call Angela, but she hadn't heard from her either, so I even called Charlie…

"She's missing, again?" Charlie asked worriedly frustrated.

"No, she's not missing," I said agitatedly. "I just can't find her."

"Well, how long has it been?" he asked.

"I'm not sure, like two or three hours."

"Oh…well, I'm sure she'll be back anytime then. I was thinking that she's been gone all day, or something," Charlie said.

"No…but it's not like her to even be gone this long. She always calls me, or at least tells someone exactly what she's doing," I told him. "I'm going to keep calling her friends, I'll talk to you later," I said before hanging up the phone.

Things were strained with Bella's father still, in fact, neither of us had talked to him in months, but I thought that perhaps he had a health scare or some other emergency that would have caused her to run to his aid…but since he hadn't heard from her, I was back to square one. _Where the hell was she?_

And then I got a phone call from Carlisle.

"Edward, you need to get down to the hospital right away," he told me. The urgency in his voice was absolutely terrifying, and made me feel like my heart had actually stopped. Something was wrong, very, very wrong…

* * *

><p><strong>****Sorry to leave you hanging, but that was just the perfect spot to cut it off. <strong>

**I've decided that no matter what, I will end this story completely with ten chapters, or rather nine regular chapters and one epilogue. So since this is technically the eighth chapter, that means we will reach HEA next, followed by the epi afterwards. Yeah! That means it will be done in just a couple days…**_**hopefully**_** ;-)**

**Please Review**


	9. Ch 23 This Time

**Unintended – A Loss of Faith**

~Chapter 23 –_This Time_~

I drove to the hospital in a daze, and when I finally got there, I couldn't remember the drive whatsoever. It was actually a miracle I didn't end up wrapping my car around a tree. I just couldn't think straight; my mind was everywhere and kept running over a million different scenarios that could have happened resulting in Carlisle's urgency over the phone. But every single one of my horrific guesses, revolved around Bella somehow and I was scared shitless.

I ran in a panic through the hospital, and demanded to know where Carlisle was, but thankfully he appeared.

"What is it, where's Bella?" I asked him in a rush.

"Bella? I have no idea where Bella is…Is she missing?" he asked concerned.

"This isn't about Bella?" I asked with a mix of relief and even more worry.

"No…as far as I know everything is fine with her…Edward, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to scare you like this," he said regretfully.

I took a deep calming breath, and then tried to focus on the reason why Carlisle did call me. Bella was fine, and I was sure she had a perfectly good explanation as to her disappearance, but I still wanted Carlisle to tell me what he needed, so I could get out of that hospital ASAP and wait for Bella.

"Everything is fine," I insisted, forcing myself to believe it as well. "What's up? Why am I here?" I asked him.

"Come with me," he said and then turned to walk to the elevator. I walked two steps behind him, and I wasn't even paying attention to the floor number he pressed. When the door opened, I continued to follow until he came to an abrupt stop. I was so vacant as I walked, that I actually ran right into him before looking up to see where we were.

"Uh…?" I asked questionably.

"Bottom row, third over," Carlisle pointed out.

"Why are you showing me random babies?" I asked seriously puzzled. Carlisle had taken me to the nursery viewing window, but I had absolutely no idea why.

"Bottom row, third over," he repeated. "That is Vicky's baby."

I stared at the infant blankly for a moment, and then a feeling of pure euphoric glee washed over me.

"Ha!" I shouted without even thinking about the necessity of being quiet in that location. "I told everyone that she was a fucken-_excuse me_, _freaken_ liar!" I said excitedly.

The baby that Carlisle pointed out, all wrapped in blue…was clearly bi-racial, making it impossible for me to be its father. I couldn't remember a time when I felt that light and relieved, and I actually started bouncing around the hallway from the elation of it all….but Carlisle didn't share in my exuberance.

"What...what's wrong?" I asked a little bitter that he couldn't possibly show any happiness for me. I know, the kid had a fucking bitch of a mother and she probably didn't even know who the father was, but it proved that I wasn't with that skank, and I hadn't been with anyone else since I first got with Bella. That might not have made all guys excited, but I sure as hell was. I didn't want to be with anyone else, _and the baby aside_, I was thrilled that I hadn't been.

"That baby was found here yesterday, wrapped up and completely abandoned out in the parking lot," he said unexpectedly.

"What?" I asked in shock with my happy moment entirely over. I knew Vicky was heartless, but I never thought she was _that_ heartless. "Wait, how do you know its Vicky's then?" I asked confused.

"The security cameras. We reviewed them and there was a clear shot of her face as she put the baby down."

I shook my head. It was fucking disgusting, and that girl seriously deserved any kind of hell that was coming to her. "Well, are you going to have her arrested then? I mean, leaving a baby like that has to be against the law, right?"

"No. This is a safe surrender site. We don't punish mothers who leave their infants here…it's a way to prevent them from leaving them in worse conditions, such as dumpsters," he explained.

"So…why look at the recording at all then?" I asked.

"I just had a hunch, and I wanted you to have some peace," he said softly.

I nodded. "Thanks Carlisle," I said sincerely. It wasn't the first time that Carlisle had bent rules for me, and I would always be forever grateful.

"So…what happens to the baby now?" I asked, remembering how worried Bella had been about it.

"Unfortunately, that's up to the state. We have social services coming in to take the baby as soon as he's discharged, and we'll probably never really know where he ends up."

"Wow," I said after a long pause. My body was still buzzing over the entire thing, and I was just entirely grateful it was all finally over. Bella and I could move on with our lives, and just be happy without any added stress….except I had no idea where Bella was.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle asked me. He must have seen the returned worry to my face, and he became worried as well but just didn't know why.

"No one has seen Bella for hours."

"That's strange," Carlisle commented, but that just scared me even more. I was really hoping he'd have the same response Charlie had, the one where he told me that she would show up anytime and everything was fine. But his concern just added to mine, and I started to freak out.

"She couldn't have a lapse this fast, could she?" I asked Carlisle. I really didn't think she would ever go back to drugs or alcohol, but at that point I was simply reaching for any possible explanation for her sudden disappearance.

"Have you noticed any signs of any instability?" Carlisle asked me in full on doctor mode.

I shook my head no. "She's been great…I mean, we had that run in with Vicky a few days ago, but she handled it amazingly…."

"What?" he asked me again due to my abrupt pause.

"Vicky," I said quietly.

"What about her?" Carlisle asked perplexed.

"She obviously couldn't pass her baby off as mine, and she didn't even have the one week window for the DNA test to come back in order to get her hands on my money…"

"Ok, so what are you thinking?"

"Do you think…." I couldn't even finish that thought; I needed to be in action.

"Where are you going?" Carlisle called after me as I ran away from him, but I didn't even have time to stop him and answer.

It all became clear, and I was fucking terrified. In fact, I hadn't been that scared since the night my father snapped, but I couldn't let that fear take over. Bella was in trouble, and she needed me.

Once again, the flashes of that night invaded my consciousness. Me, frantic to find my sister, but knowing in my heart that I was too late. But I refused to let it be too late, not again, not this time, not with Bella. I had to do what I failed to do before, I had to save her.

I had no way of knowing where to look, but suddenly I arrived at the place I never wanted to see again, and I didn't have a doubt she'd be there. There were only two places in the entire world that I wished had been burned down, first was of course, my childhood home, and the second was that weird little house in Port Angeles that I had confusingly woken up in, only to learn that I had been missing for two days. I never wanted to think about that house again, but somehow, I knew Bella was there.

I didn't hesitate after parking in the driveway, I practically jumped out of the car, and ran into the house, and if course, it wasn't locked.

"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to join the party," Vicky said with a menacing tone. "Took you long enough to figure it out. See Bella, I told you this place meant something to him."

I nearly lost it, right then and there. Bella was tied to a chair with tape over her mouth, and Vicky was holding a gun to her head.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I yelled.

"Stay where you are!" she warned me while cocking the gun.

"I swear to god, if you…"

"You'll what?" Vicky goaded with a sadistic smile.

I had never been that close to losing my mind completely before. Even when my father murdered my family, I wasn't that angry. I didn't have time to be angry back then because everything seemed to happen so quickly, but this was all in slow motion. Vicky didn't have plans to kill for the hell of killing, she was taunting me, and having fun with it.

"What do you want?" I asked desperately. I kept my eyes locked on Bella's, and she looked horrified, but strangely enough, I knew without a doubt that she was really only afraid for _me_. She was probably nice and calm before I showed up, in fact, she was probably pissed that I came at all. I should have called the police, but I had to be sure, and with her being gone for less than twenty four hours, they probably wouldn't have helped me anyway.

"What do you think I want?" Vicky asked like the heartless bitch she was.

"Fine. I have the money, but… just let Bella go and it's yours," I told her quickly.

"Do you think I'm STUPID?" she yelled. I would have said 'yes' but with the gun pointed at Bella, I wasn't about to provoke her.

"No…tell me what to do here," I asked desperately.

"Here's how this is going to work, James is going to stay here with Bella, and you and me are going to get the money," she explained.

I didn't even realize James was there, but when she said his name, my pissed level rose tenfold. That fucking bastard.

"I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch," I said to my former best friend, in a low aggressive voice.

"Shut UP!" Vicky yelled.

"You know, I really don't get it. She obviously fucked around on you James, because that baby isn't yours either, so why the hell are you still with her?" I asked him.

But my question just infuriated Vicky even more, so she fired the gun at the wall to shut me up.

"Whoa, that wasn't smart. I'm sure one of the neighbors heard that. I bet they're calling the police right this minute," I told her.

"I told you to SHUT UP!" she screamed, and I knew then that she was serious and wouldn't have a problem pulling that trigger.

"Ok, sorry," I said with my hands up in front of me, trying to calm her down. My heart was racing and my whole body felt like it was going to break down. As the images my father holding a gun replayed in my mind over and over again, I was seriously losing my grip on reality. I couldn't escape it, I couldn't break free from the living nightmare which had invaded my every thought, and I was about two seconds away from finding a corner in the room and folding myself into a ball before rocking uncontrollably.

But like everything else in life, I had a choice, and I would not let a couple of idiotic degenerates like Vicky and James destroy everything I had worked so hard to rebuild. I was not the thirteen year old kid that I was the last time I was in a murderous situation; I had been through all that before, and I had grown up since then. I couldn't save my mother and sister, but I would not allow that failure to be repeated with Bella, and I knew right then that she was going to be fine. I was stronger now, and I would not allow anyone to take what I've fought like hell to get back. Bella was my life, my family, and we would continue to live well past this day.

_This time_, I would survive.

"You want the money. Then let's go get it," I said strongly.

Vicky narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously. "What are you playing?"

"I'm not playing anything. You're doing this for the money because the baby thing didn't work, so let's go get your money so I can take Bella home. No one needs to get hurt here; we can all get what we want."

"Can we now?" she said arrogantly.

"Yes."

"And all you want is the pastor's daughter?" she asked skeptically.

"She's all that matters to me right now, yes."

She stared at me for a long time, but then she swallowed hard and lifted her head. "What makes her so much better than me, huh? What makes _you_ so much better than us? You were no different, you got high and were just as much of a loser as us, in fact, you were the biggest fuckup there was. Why the hell do you deserve to be happy? If anyone deserves to be in love like that, it sure as hell isn't you!"

Fuck…she was snapping.

I could actually see her spiral downwards into insanity. She was a fucking head case before, but this was different. It stopped being about the money in that moment, and became complete psychotic revenge. I never did anything to her to warrant an attack on Bella and me, but I didn't have to. She was pissed at the world and blindly hormonal from just giving birth a couple days prior, and she was looking for someone to take out her aggressions on. This wasn't going to end without a fight…but it was a fight I knew I would win. Even with that little bitch James having a gun of his own, I knew he wasn't crazy, at least not as crazy as Vicky was.

"You're right Vicky, I was horrible. I was mean and cruel to the people around me, and I sure as hell don't deserve to be happy, but I'm going to take it. Love is truly an amazing thing, and it is definitely worth being better for. But Vicky, you could have that too. You have a son, and there is nothing like that level of intense connection. Being a parent is the best thing that I can imagine, and all you have to do is stop this shit, and reclaim your baby."

She stared at me for a moment while she realized her huge mistake in giving up her baby. The thing she needed, the one thing she never really had before, was that unconditional love and sense of family, and even more than money, it was what she really wanted….But then she choked back that feeling, and shook her head. "You don't know anything. Do you seriously think they'll just give him back to me now?"

I pressed my lips. "No, they won't. Not right away at least. You're going to have to work at getting him back, but it's something you definitely can do. But if you continue to do this, if you pull that trigger, it's all over. You'll never see your son again, and you'll never even know what happened to him. Is that what you want?"

Her breathing spiked, and her whole body trembled, but then she froze for an infinity long moment before slowly looking up at me. "It doesn't matter. None of this matters."

"Vicky, this has gone too far now, we need to let them go," James said in a panic. He must have sensed her irrational state, and like I predicted, he wasn't that fucking crazy.

"SHUT UP!" she yelled at him.

"No, I'm done keeping quiet, and I won't let you use me anymore. This has gotten way out of control, and enough is enough. You said we needed the money to raise the baby. You said he was in a safe place and we would go back for him when we got the money…I didn't even care that he wasn't mine biologically. I was going to raise him with you, but…this isn't right. Did you ever even have any intentions on going back for Riley at all?"

"I told you that's not his name!" she spat.

"Well, you didn't give him any other name, so that's better than calling him 'baby'! But you don't care, do you. You only ever cared about the money." James shook his head incredulously. "Where is he? Obviously, if Edward knows about him, then he isn't with your 'friend' like you said he was."

"She left him anonymously at the hospital," I told him.

"You abandoned him?" James asked angrily.

"And why the fuck do you care, anyway? He's not your baby, so mind your own fucking business!" Vicky said harshly.

"No, he's not mine, but you've been telling me that he was for the past several months. I've gotten used to the idea, and I'm attached now. I can't help it," James said bitterly. "I wish I wasn't, believe me, I wish I could wash my hands of you all together, but I can't."

James and Vicky continued to bicker about the situation, and I used their distraction to go over to Bella to untie her.

"Everything is going to be fine, I promise," I whispered as I pulled off the tape covering her mouth.

"Edward, she's crazy," Bella whispered anxiously.

"What the hell are you doing?" Vicky screeched when she noticed us.

"You need to let Bella go. She has a serious medical condition, and if she doesn't get her medication, then she could die," I lied quickly.

"Right," Vicky said sarcastically.

"Vicky, just put the gun down. Just…let's go. Let's get out of here before it's too late," James told her.

"Sorry James, but we're not going anywhere," Vicky said emotionlessly. She raised her gun back at Bella, and everything that followed was a blur.

There was a loud bang, and I vaguely remembered pushing Bella out of the way. Then that old familiar feeling of being punched washed over me, which knocked me off of my feet; although, because I felt that sensation before, I knew what it really was….and it definitely wasn't a punch.

But even though I was seeing everything through a thick haze, I tried to force myself to focus as much as possible. I needed to protect Bella, it was all that mattered. I turned to look behind me at Vicky, and James had grabbed her from behind, and they were both struggling with the gun…but then it went off again.

The four of us each froze, and tried to figure out where the bullet had gone, but then James's shirt started turning red, and it became obvious. He looked absolutely horrified as he fell to his knees, and then sequentially fell on his stomach and lost consciousness.

"What the fuck did you do!" I yelled at the bitch.

At first she looked shell-shocked, but she still held the gun firmly in her hand. Since she didn't seem like she planned on moving anytime soon, I took a moment to check Bella over to make sure she was ok.

"Edward…James was shot," Bella whispered with tears flowing down her face.

"I know, it's ok," I murmured. James most certainly wasn't OK, but I couldn't leave Bella's side, not even for a second while Vicky still had that gun.

"You shot James…HE NEEDS HELP!" I said strongly to Vicky, hoping she'd wake from the trance she was in. "DAMN IT!" I yelled out of frustration due to her lack of a response.

But enough was enough. I wasn't going to just sit there and hope she wouldn't try to fire the gun again, so I stood, and then charged the bitch. She came-to slightly, and tried to defend herself, but it was pointless. I had control over the gun quickly, and she wound up sitting on the ground with her legs crossed in front of her, and actually humming to herself.

I looked back to Bella, and she definitely seemed like she was in some pain from the way I had pushed her, so I rushed back over to her.

"Edward, James," she said simply, and I knew that she wanted me to help him first.

Since nothing about Bella seemed life threatening, I nodded and then hurried over to check him. He was completely still with his eye's closed, but he was breathing…barely.

"James," I said while trying to gently nudge him awake, but he didn't respond. He was lying in a pool of blood, but he was alive, so I didn't even give myself a chance to think about the last time I saw that much blood. I had to be in action if he even had a chance at surviving. I grabbed the house phone and called 911 as I tried to put pressure on his wound…of course, that's when I felt an intense pain in my shoulder, followed by a warm wet sensation running down my arm.

Fuck! Being shot without the proper amount of adrenalin to numb it efficiently, fucking sucked.

"Edward, you're bleeding!" Bella said in a panic.

"I'm fine," I said slightly irritated. I wasn't frustrated by Bella, it was my painful shoulder that was fucking infuriating me. I knew enough about anatomy to know I was going to be fine, but James was going to die if help didn't come soon, and my pain just made everything more difficult. "Come on James, stay with us."

I told the emergency dispatcher what happened and the address, and continued to keep pressure on James' wound. It was only about five minutes before we heard the sirens rushing down the street, but it had seemed like hours.

Since I told them that there was a shooting and the gun was still in the room, the police came in first. Once the established there was no more threat, they allowed the EMTs to come in and start looking over James.

There was nothing left for me to do with him, so I went back over to Bella, and she automatically grabbed onto me and held me for several long moments…and then she went into mothering mode. She pulled my shirt down to look at my shoulder, and then gasped.

"She shot you too?" she asked terrified.

"I'll be fine," I assured her with a light kiss on her lips, but then I noticed that she wasn't moving her leg, and it was definitely looked a little off. "What's wrong with your leg?"

"It's fine," she said, repeating my line.

"No, it's broken," I said angrily, knowing I was the one who broke it. I had pushed her so hard when Vicky fired the gun, that she must have landed on it wrong.

We stared at each other, and then we both just started laughing. It was utterly ridiculous in that situation, but it was just so emotionally draining that all we could do was laugh, otherwise we would have both broken down and lost it.

She had a broken leg and I had a bullet in my shoulder, but we were both alive, and we were going to be fine.

Vicky was put in the back of a police cruiser, and James was loaded into the ambulance, and then more EMTs came to look at Bella and me. Our wounds were bandaged and splinted, and then we were taken to the hospital as well.

Since we were in Port Angeles, we were taken to the local hospital there, which kind of sucked. I knew that if we were at Carlisle's hospital, we'd be able to get away with staying together, but Bella and I were taken to separate rooms to get X-rays and such. It was nerve-racking being apart, but we were both going to be fine, so I had to keep reminding myself that fact.

By the time I got out of X-rays, Carlisle was there, and looked relieved but stressed at the same time.

"Did you see Bella?" I asked in a sudden panic. What if her injuries were worse than I thought?

"She's fine. I already checked on her," he said in a calming tone.

"Is her leg broken?" I asked.

He nodded. "It's a clean break; she won't need surgery…but _you_ will."

Fuck.

"Yeah, I figured," I grumbled.

I was able to see Bella after that, and the relief I felt by having her safely near again was immeasurable. We hung around for the next couple of hours and gave our statements to the police, but I refused to let them separate us again.

"I'm so sorry," I kept telling her as we waited. Her leg was casted, and my arm attached to my injured shoulder was in a sling, but we sat on the same bed and held hands the entire time.

"It's not your fault, I shouldn't have gone there in the first place," she said regretfully. She explained that Vicky had called her pretending to be in distress, and said she needed help. Bella told her to call an ambulance, but she convinced her that she couldn't for whatever reason, so Bella – now being an experienced in giving birth – rushed to her aid. That's just the kind of girl Bella was, she thought there was a baby in danger, and she tried to do whatever she could to help. But, of course, it was a trap because Vicky had given birth the day before, and abandoned it at the hospital. Since she couldn't pass the baby off as mine, she went after Bella for the money, and I just was so grateful I was able to get to her.

But because of my all around lack of trust in strangers, I requested to be moved back to Forks to have my bullet excavation done there. Carlisle pulled some strings, and drove me himself to his hospital, and because Bella and I were both heavily doped up on pain killers, we slept the entire way together in the back seat.

Carlisle wanted to drop off Bella at home before taking me into the hospital, but she refused to leave me. My surgery room was already being prepared, and I would have to stay overnight in the hospital as I recovered, but the idea of being separated for that long was extremely uncomfortable for both of us.

"You need to go home to be with Carlie," I insisted as a nurse prepped me.

"I don't want to leave you here," she said with tears in her eyes.

"It's all fine, _we're_ fine," I insisted.

"I'm not going anywhere…at least not until after your surgery and you're fully awake again," she said adamantly.

"Ok, but you're going home tonight," I told her, and she nodded before kissing me.

The surgery was really not a big deal. I went to sleep and woke up feeling a little woozy, but there really wasn't any pain, not with the type of meds they had me on.

I opened my eyes to the gorgeous sight of Bella's smiling face, and I felt a sense of peace that I never knew existed. There was always some kind of drama plaguing me, even since I was a kid, but now I couldn't think of anything out of place in my entire life. I had Bella, we had our perfect daughter, and nothing else would ever come between us again.

We survived, and with that, I lost my fear of losing her. History would not repeat itself, Bella and my daughter were going to have long healthy lives, and there wasn't a better feeling in the world than that.

Esme, Emmett, and Alice all came by to visit me, and Alice even brought me flowers, which was kind of ridiculous but still sweet in a way. Bella stayed with me for a few more hours as well, and she just lovingly sat there and listened to me as I complained and bitched about all the different aspects of being stuck in a hospital bed. But then she needed to get back to Carlie, so Esme took her home and I was left there alone for the night.

I hated fucking hospitals.

Just when I figured I should at least try to get some sleep, I was surprised to see Bella come back into the room sheepishly.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a smile. She should have been home resting, but I was sure as hell glad to see her again.

"I can't sleep without you anymore," she said and then put her crutches down, and hobbled over to my bed to squeeze in besides me.

"Carlie?" I asked.

"She's already sleeping for the night. Rose was more than happy to watch her."

"Mmm," I said as she cuddled into my side. "You know, we take far too much advantage of Carlisle when it comes to this hospital," I mused.

She laughed once. "I know, we should get him a gift or something."

We were quiet for a long time, but then a thought crossed my mind that I just couldn't hold in.

"Do you wanna fool around?" I asked her seriously.

She looked at me in shock, but then broke out laughing and playfully smacked my arm.

"Ouch!" I said and then whined like a baby.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" she said horrified.

But then I started laughing. "Babe, I'm kidding. It wasn't even this side," I told her.

She huffed in a scolding way, but then she smiled and laid her head down besides mine, right where she belonged.

…..

**One month later…**

"You ready for this?" Bella asked me.

"Bella, I told you, I'm more than cool with it," I assured her.

"Ok," she said with a smile and then came over to straighten my tie."You're so sexy," she said with a sigh when she was finished.

I laughed once. "You make that sound like a bad thing," I said slightly cocky.

"It is. I hate that I can't just rip your clothes off right now and ride you until you can't take anymore," she said unexpectedly.

"Who says you can't?" I said with a chuckle.

"We can't, we'll be late," she said with an evil grin as she brushed across me seductively.

"Ugh, you're mean," I complained as she opened our bedroom door to leave.

We met the Cullens downstairs, and we all went together to church. Rose and Emmett arrived at the church separately, but we hadn't seen them in two weeks, so we all hugged hello before going inside for the ceremony to begin.

Charlie smiled and was even friendly to everyone there, and I was really glad that we all seemed to get past our differences. He finally understood once and for all, that I loved Bella and our daughter more than anything, and I was never going to leave them. Once he believed that, things were easy between us, for which I was grateful.

"Ok little guy, you ready for this?" Bella cooed as she took Riley from Rose.

And like all babies seemed to do, he screamed bloody murder when Charlie poured the water over his head.

"Oh, it's ok, all done now," Bella said while bouncing him which immediately made him calm down.

"Ugh, you're so good with him," Rose said, slightly bitter.

"You'll get there," Bella said with a laugh as she gave the baby back to her. "Being a new mom is hard; if anyone knows that, it's me."

Vicky, of course, went to jail, and perhaps even a psych ward, but she did do one decent thing for her son, she signed away her rights. I wasn't sure about all the legal stuff when it came to that because she did abandon him, but she did it anyway, and we hoped to never hear from her again.

James was in a coma for a week, and when he woke up, he too had to face some charges; but his recovery was a harsh one, and he would be spending months in physical therapy, so I wasn't too concerned about him ever bothering us again either.

But the best thing to come out of the situation, was the fact that Rose and Emmett were first in line to adopt the baby. They decided to forgo their elaborate wedding plans, and they got married in a civil ceremony, and then welcomed their new son into the family.

They were nervous about asking Bella and I to be the godparents, but since they were Carlie's, they really wanted it all the more. Bella and I couldn't be more happy for them, and neither of us would ever hold a grudge on a baby for the shit it's mother did. I knew better than anyone how having a horrible parent, didn't have to ruin the rest of one's life. The whole '_sins of the father'_ thing was bullshit, and realizing that fact, allowed me to fully understanding that life was only what we make of it.

Riley was a blank slate, and Rose and Em would do what few people in this world were really capable of…they would love that child fiercely, despite the fact that he wasn't naturally theirs. It took a special kind of person to adopt, and it was something that they probably learned from watching Carlisle and Esme. They loved me like one of their own, and without their support, I was sure I could never have been half the man I was finally able to become.

After the christening, we all went back to the Cullen's for a little after party.

Emmett and Rose only had Riley for a couple weeks, but they spent that time in Seattle where they lived, just trying to get to know him and learn to be parents; so this was really the first time we had all seen Riley. We saw him briefly when they first got custody, but two weeks in a newborn, really makes a huge difference.

The house was full of all of Em and Rose's friends, so the fact that I got separated from Bella wasn't surprising.

"Hey, have you seen Bella?" I asked Alice.

"Uh…I think she went in to change Carlie's diaper," she told me.

"Ok, thanks," I said and then went inside to look for her. But when I got into the living room, I was surprised to see Bella sitting in there, holding Riley and cooing at him.

"Hey," I said with a smile. "I thought you had Carlie."

"Oh I did, but since I still have this stupid clunky cast on and it takes me forever to get up the stairs while holding her, Rose offered to go up and change her for me…_so I have Riley duty_," she said in a high pitched voice.

"I see," I said while sitting next to her.

"You know…I would have loved him anyway," she told me quietly, and I automatically knew what she meant. If he did end up being mine, we would have been fine. She would have loved him, and we would have been happily together for the rest of our lives. We were just that strong, and Bella was just that loving.

"I know you would have," I whispered back. "And that's just one of the millions of reasons why I love you so much."

I leaned into her for a kiss, but it was a little more deep and intense than either of us intended it to be, so it took Rose clearing her throat for us to finally break apart.

"Sorry," Bella said sheepishly.

"Dada" Carlie said excitedly when she saw me.

"Hey baby girl," I said and took her out of Rose's arms, and then Rose took Riley from Bella.

I couldn't imagine all of it turning out any better.

The party wore down, and Carlie crashed for the night, so after hanging with the family for a few more hours, Bella and I retreated to our room to spend the night in our favorite way….wrapped up in each other.

Surprisingly, her cast was just a tiny obstacle in that department, but it was an easy one to work around. We spent the entire beginning of our relationship working around Bella's big pregnancy belly, so the cast was actually easy compared to that.

After making love, Bella kissed my newest bullet wound, and then laid her head on my chest like she did every other night. It was actually ironic that the new wound somehow seemed to cancel out the old ones, and in a strange odd way, I was actually proud of it. It would be the scar that I would forever more look at and know that my life was spared that day, and by my life, I meant Bella. The other two represented my mother and sister's death, but this one was all about hope.

…

**One more month later…**

With all the traumatic drama behind us, Bella and I decided to make a real go of it, and get a place of our own.

But it felt a little odd living together like that, although I wasn't sure why at first. It was just a simple two bedroom apartment, which Bella and I had argued about extensively. I, of course, wanted to buy a huge five bedroom house, Bella was a little more modest and thought we should wait until after we graduate college and have a steady income, before blowing a huge chunk of our money on a house.

I suppose she was right.

Our apartment wasn't big, but it was definitely better than the one she originally wanted , so I guess it was a compromise. But after living that way together for a few weeks, a casual trip to the grocery store cued me into my unease about our current living situation.

"Oh, you have the most beautiful wife and daughter," a random little old woman told me as Bella pushed the cart ahead.

"Uh…thanks," I told her, not wanting to correct her because I loved hearing Bella being referred to as my wife again. And that's exactly what my issue had been all along. I had nothing against living together and sex before marriage, it wasn't about that, but I wanted to be married to Bella again, and I hated knowing that technically she was just my girlfriend. The word didn't hold enough meaning and felt ridiculously insignificant, especially considering everything we had been through.

So, I skipped school the next day, and met with Carlisle at his house.

"I think this is a wonderful idea," Carlisle said with a smile as he handed me my mother's ring. It wasn't the ring she used to marry my father with, _I wasn't that stupid_, it was the ring that her parents had given her upon her eighteenth birthday. It was a hand-me-down, a family heirloom that was over a hundred years old.

I actually never thought about the ring before that moment, because if I had, I probably would have given it to her long before that. It wasn't extravagant, but I knew Bella would absolutely love it; she was just that type of girl who preferred meaningful jewelry over the expensive shit from Tiffany's. I could definitely afford one of those types, but I knew Bella, and this was the right ring for her.

That weekend, we dropped Carlie off with Esme, and I took Bella on a trip down memory lane. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea though, because everything exploded after all of that, but still…whether I admitted it or not back then, it was those places that I first fell in love with her.

"Why are we at the high school?" she asked me confused.

"I thought we'd go for a hike," I said as I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulder.

"What's in there?" she asked with a grin.

"Snacks, of course."

"Of course," she said with a laugh.

When we got closer to the familiar location, Bella actually became giddy and started jumping around.

"Wow, happy are we?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Yes….now give me," she said eagerly while holding out her hands and bouncing.

"Give you what?" I played dumb.

"Come on.._Please_," she said impatiently.

"Ok," I conceded, and then pulled off my backpack and grabbed out an apple for her. She actually squealed in delight as she took it from me, and then she kissed me before grabbing my hand, and leading me the rest of the way quietly.

"There," she said with a calm smile. "She's still here." Bella held out the apple, and the oddly tame deer slowly took it from her.

We watched it for awhile, but it was just so surreal to not comment on it. "Shouldn't we tell someone about this deer that has been here for a few years, and never seems to go anywhere?"

She laughed. "You know, when I used to come up here alone, I was sure I was just imagining her…but then I took a chance and brought you here, and then I knew it was real."

"Yeah…unless we're both just crazy and imagining it together," I said lightly.

"No…I didn't mean that the deer was real, I meant what I felt _for you_ was real," she said unexpectedly.

"This deer probably would have hung out no matter who you brought up here," I told her.

"But I never brought anyone else up here before, and because _I allowed myself_ to bring you, I knew what I was feeling was real," she explained.

It was a confusing explanation, and yet, I understood her completely. It wasn't about whether the deer was real, or if it ran away or not when we came, it was about learning what was inside her, and in turn, learning what was inside me. Bella always saw me, the real me, the me who I buried so deeply inside that I even couldn't reach anymore. But Bella reached me, she brought me out, and I was eternally grateful.

After feeding the mysterious deer a few more apples, we hiked back down the mountain before it could get dark on us, and then it was onto my next location.

"Where to now?" she asked curiously.

"You'll see," I said with a grin. I turned down the familiar roads, and she once again, became excited.

"I hope you put another blanket in the trunk," Bella said happily.

"Of course, I'm always prepared."

I parked the car and went to retrieve the blanket and snacks, and then we climbed up the sand dune and just cuddled together and watched the ocean. The sky was clear for a change, and as the sun set and the sky changed colors, I knew it was the perfect time and place.

"Bella…I love you so much…"

"I love you too," she interrupted me.

"Thanks, but I wasn't finished…. Bella, I love you so much, and with everything that's happened, I just can't stand the idea of ever being away from you again. But…I miss being your husband…I miss being able you call you my wife, and there's nothing in this world I want more right now, than to be married to you again. I want to marry you, because I love you, and not because we have a child together or someone forced us into it. I want it to be on our terms, and for no other reason than to spend the rest of our lives together."

We were lying on the blanket, but I got half way up so that I was on my knees, and I held her hands securely in mine. But then I remembered the ring, so I fished it out of my pocket and opened the little box to show to her.

"This was my mother's…Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every moment of forever. Will you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me?"

She had tears in her eyes, and then they disappeared and were replaced with pure exuberance. She pushed herself up into my arms, and we held each other for an immeasurable amount of time, and just thanked everything that was holy that we were together…that we made it.

_This time_, it was all different…..

We were the couple who didn't really care about the big wedding, and yet there we were, all dressed up in the Cullen's backyard under a canopy of twinkly lights and little white flowers. Alice didn't get the chance to throw Emmett and Rose their big wedding, so she took out her revenge on us. I felt a little bad for taking the wedding that really should have been theirs, but they weren't sad or regretful. They had the lives they wanted, and that's what was important to them…_plus I was sure that they'd end up renewing their marriage on a tropical beach somewhere one day._

Bella's father walked her down the aisle, but that's where his involvement stopped. He wasn't there as a pastor, he was only there as her father, and that was a nice sight to see.

Everything was perfect, but the best part was that when we said our vows, they were _our_ words and not something we were told to say.

The future was uncertain, and there would always be challenges and obstacles, but as the minister pronounced us husband and wife, I knew that truth would always remain…._'till death do us part_, _and forever after._

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><p><strong>****Another cheesy ending! LOL <strong>

**The epilogue is coming up next, and you may need some crackers or wine to go with the cheese that's ahead ;-)**

**Please Review**


	10. Epilogue

**Unintended – A Loss of Faith**

~_Epilogue_~

"Are we really doing this?" I asked Bella….well, more like whined to Bella.

"Hey, this is your deal, not mine," she said defensively.

"Yeah, but I think I've made a mistake," I said as seriously as possible.

She laughed and shook her head. "Too late now. We all make choices, and you're just going to have to live with yours."

"Shit!" I complained. Of course, she was right; there was nothing I could do about that particular choice at the moment.

Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang….Fuck, it was already happening.

"CARLIE!" Bella called up to her. "Your friends are here."

"Look, I get why you're going, but why do I have to?" I asked Bella as one last attempt to get out of it.

"Because this was all your doing. If I have to suffer through three hours of Justin Bieber, then so do you," she said emotionlessly.

"Fuck," I said under my breath.

"Ha! That's a dollar for the curse jar," Carlie said excitedly as she skipped down the stairs.

_Stupid fucking curse jar._

She ran to let her friends in, and I was surprised to see Riley amongst them.

"Really?" I asked him incredulously.

"What? I like Justin Bieber," he said defensively.

"Sure, you do," I said sarcastically.

"You know Uncle Ed, you should really learn to be more tolerant of other people's opinions. Just because a dude like me just happens to dig the floppy haired freak, doesn't mean there's something wrong with me or that I have an ulterior motive. I'm simply here to celebrate my best friend's thirteenth birthday party…nothing more," he said unruffled.

"She's your cousin…just remember that," I told him suggestively.

Riley had developed sort of a crush on Carlie, which was disturbing to say the least, but thankfully, Carlie thought of him as nothing more than her younger cousin the way it ought to be.

"She's not really my cousin," he said quickly.

"Uh…yeah she is," I told him.

"One, I was adopted, and two, even if I wasn't, you were adopted, so my dad isn't even really your brother. That makes her my step…step…cousin; legally allowed to marry…I checked," he said before quickly running off. Fucking little shit. _Maybe it would have been better if they were genetically connected after all. _

"Ok, time to go!" Bella announced to the three girls…_and Riley_.

"Oh my god, I'm so excited!" they all squealed.

"Don't forget the passes," Bella reminded me. Shit. I was actually really hoping that I would forget them. The concert was going to be bad enough, but the backstage passes were just too much.

I ran up to kiss Eli sleeping in her bed, and made sure the sitter had all our contact information…and I may have even been hoping that Eli had a bad dream or something that would prevent me from leaving, but she was sleeping peacefully, so I was completely out of excuses…FUCK!

Elizabeth Esme Masen, Eli for short, was eighteen months old. Bella and I had been so focused on finishing college and then our careers, that before we knew it, Carlie was turning ten and we never had a second child like we had always planned. So we decided to push everything aside and concentrate on expanding our family before it got too late. Bella went off birth control, and just like that, Eli was on her way. But taking that time off of work made Bella anxious, so as much as we loved our two girls, we both decided our family was complete after that.

In college, Bella planned on majoring in English Lit, but somewhere along the way, she fell in love with law and went on to become a lawyer…Of course, she's nonprofit and basically makes next to nothing in salary, but she loves it, so I'm supportive.

After I had finished my first four years of college, I decided that perhaps med school wasn't so bad after all, and I enrolled. I always hated doctors, mainly because of my father, but after letting go of all my anger for the creep, I realized that my real father, _the one who really mattered_, was a doctor as well and that was something definitely to aspire to. Carlisle was excited that I wanted to follow in his footsteps, but like with so many other things, it just didn't work out.

Between Bella going to law school, and me attempting to understand advanced anatomy, it was just far too stressful and our family life was struggling. Bella offered to cut back on her school, but I just didn't love what I was doing the way she did, so I looked for a different option.

And that was around the time Jasper came back to town. He claimed he was just there to take care of some things, but with how quickly he rekindled his relationship with Alice, I had a feeling she was the real reason why he came back. Jasper was in the market for someone to help him finance a record company, and I just happened to be in the market for something to do with myself, so we became business partners.

But, I also found out that I had a knack for writing as well. Bella lovingly laughed at me in the beginning, saying how my poetry was always so cheesy, but then she read some of my stuff, and she stopped laughing.

"_Wow, this is amazing," she told me seriously._

"_I know…and it's all about you babe," I responded arrogantly while kissing her._

"_You should sing this stuff yourself, you used to be an amazing singer when we were younger," she told me._

"_Uh…no," I said dryly. I didn't remember ever singing before, but it didn't matter. I had no desire to sing emotional shit like a pansy, so I stuck to writing and producing…and then Justin fucking Bieber bought the rights to one of my songs, and I had never been the same since. Of course, he was too good to be on Jasper's and my label, but I really didn't fucking care. He gave my daughter backstage passes to his concert, so I suppose it was worth it._

I actually felt bad about Bella and my careers. She worked twice as hard, but I brought home all of our money. It wasn't fair, but I guess that was life.

"She was fast asleep, wasn't she?" Bella asked smugly referring to Eli, as I got into the car full of eager preteens…_well, teens, now that Carlie was thirteen._

I just glared at her, so of course she giggled.

When we got to the arena, we drove straight into the VIP parking, and then gave the guard my pass. The girls were all giddy, and Riley…well, he just stared gooey eyed at Carlie the whole time. _Fucking sick._

The little douche dream boat came out on stage, and everyone went wild, and I seriously wished I was still insane enough to shoot myself. But the worst part was the fact that I was positive that his screechy high pitched voice would resound in my head for the rest of the fucking night, long after we left that fucking place. That level of annoyance was like ringing in the ears…not something easily distracted from.

After the show, we went backstage and the girls all got their little autographs and pictures taken, and leave it to the little pop bastard to make a smartass comment.

"Thanks for coming Mr. Masen. By the way, the song you wrote for me is my mom's absolute favorite," he told me with a grin.

"Thanks," I said flatly, and left our interaction at that. The fact that he said I wrote the song for _him_, just further proved what an idiot he was. "Ok girls, we should let Justin go now, I'm sure it's her bedtime, or something," I told Carlie and her friends.

"Dad, you said 'her'," Carlie whispered to me embarrassed.

"I did? Sorry, I won't call _her_ that again," I said evenly.

She glared at me, but I smiled and shrugged it off.

Not only did we have to suffer through Bieber Fever, but then we had to endure a sleepover as well.

"Come on Ry, I'll drive you home," I told him after taking all the girls back to our place.

"I thought I was spending the night too?" Riley asked disappointed.

"No way in hell," I said impassively.

"Swear jar!" he said enthused.

"_Hell_ isn't a swear word," I told him annoyed.

"My mom said it is," he rebutted.

"Ok, maybe it is for a twelve year old, but not for me. No go get back into the car," I instructed.

"Ah man," he said sadly. Bella came to give him a hug goodbye, but Carlie was too busy with her friends, which definitely hurt his feelings a bit. As much as I thought his crush on her was odd, I still didn't want her being rude, so I called her down.

"YO, RAPUNZEL!"

"What?" she asked in hushed irritation by my nickname for her.

Carlie always had an overactive imagination, and when she was seven, she decided to change her name. She would only respond to this odd name she made up, which Bella had later explained was a combination of Rene and Esme's names, but it was just too strange for me to remember, so I called her the closest thing I could come up with, which was 'Rapunzel'. She was always annoyed by it, and even after she moved past that wacky name change stage, it had stuck. But whether she'd admit it or not, I knew she actually liked me calling her it.

"Say bye to Riley," I told her.

She rolled her eyes. "Bye Riley," she said before giving him a quick hug.

"And?" Bella prompted.

"And what?" Carlie asked curiously.

"Thanks…" Bella reminded her.

"Oh yeah, thanks for my gift. I really loved it," she said with a forced smile before running up the stairs.

After I got back from dropping Riley off at Rose and Emmett's place, I ran up the stairs to kiss sleeping Eli before heading into bed myself. It was getting late, and the girls were supposed to be getting to bed anyway, so I was hoping for a little 'girl' time myself.

"Don't even think about it," Bella warned me as I moved in to kiss her.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"We are not getting freaky with all those girls giggling in the next room over."

"Why not? They'll be asleep soon enough," I said with furrow brows.

"Nope. Not going to happen. Girls never really sleep during sleepovers. I'm sure they'll be telling scary stories and playing pranks on each other all night. The last thing we need is them sneaking around the house with us making noise in here."

"You mean with _you_ making noise in here. I can control myself, but I guess I'm just too good at what I do for you to keep quiet," I said teasingly.

She was trying to think of a smart comeback, but she came up empty so she smiled sheepishly and nodded in agreement. "True. You are very good at what you do," she said before kissing me.

"You know, with them telling scary stories, I'm sure some of your noises would only add to the ambiance," I told her with a laugh.

"Right," she said while kissing me again. Our kiss got deeper, and just like always, she knew she was powerless against it. "Well…maybe I can try extra hard to be quiet," she relented.

I chuckled against the skin on her neck, and then we continued on into our small but perfect piece of forever….

**The End**

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><p><strong>*****HAHA! And you thought you were safe from Bieber by reading this version :-p<strong>

**I hope you liked this deviation from the original, it was really fun exploring the 'what if'. I personally like both, but I love the fact that despite their alternate life paths, they ended up in the same place…well similar. **

**Thank you so much for continuing to read this story, I really appreciate it! **

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